Onlyfans

[Akal212]

My just gone 18 year old has decided to start doing it......🤬 advice

She is 18 anyway. It takes money to move out and commitment to looking after herself full time.

If she wants that fair enough, but no way would I be washing her clothes, cooking and paying bills to support that.

@wedswench

I don't understand what you mean by the S£££ c£££ I take it you mean full nude?

A video of her with something of someone's in her a mouth I don’t want to put it as people may find it inappropriate for this form

I think she means snatch

Oh right so an actual sex act?

Okay that's extreme. I'd be very very concerned too.

I'd still suggest approaching it with kindness and understanding though rather than an exclusionary or angry way.

Have you had concerns about her before? Is this out of character?
Mi wonder if she's been abused? It's nit usual for a young woman to be comfortable with doing this just because

Could you talk to to her about the trafficked girls forced to put content on OFs? That her involvement is helping that to happen? There are plenty of articles about that?
It’s awful that it’s being promoted as an ok thing to do - including by some celebs.

Wow. That’s erm young.

@Akal212 honestly tough love and tell her all the porn pictures on there will be on there for life so if she wants a career she needs to really think about it

@Serenschintte

Could you talk to to her about the trafficked girls forced to put content on OFs? That her involvement is helping that to happen? There are plenty of articles about that? It’s awful that it’s being promoted as an ok thing to do - including by some celebs.

Yes. Onlyfans is especially problematic because high profile women do it so it's not seen as taboo. But those women are selling photos in knickers and bra. Not porn shots.

@RickiTarr

Wow. That’s erm young.

Her first post on it was on her birthday so it’s been something she’s been planning I suspect

It sounds like she's quite far in already OP.

Do you think she'd have a shot at modelling or promo work? I'm wondering if you can help her channel this in to something else?

Good for her, I hope she stays safe using it and knows her boundaries. Perhaps you could make sure she's doing this safely, rather than getting mad at her. She'll continue whether you like it or not, rightly so.

Not much you can do with her being 18.
Condemn it and you'll push her further away. Check out the bbc documentary nudes for sale. One young girl clashed with her family from doing only fans. Ended up homeless and not earning enough so turned to escorting. I'd just tell her you love
Her and to keep safe. Lots of people have shared their negative experiences on YouTube

Honestly I'd threaten to kick her out, having photos of sucking someones you know what its absolutely disgusting and pornographic! I would hit the roof that my daughter that I raised could do something like this, it's shameful and I would not be able to be ok with this at all. Kick her out

Yeah that's great advice. Kick her out then she really won't have any choice but to continue. And if it doesn't work out there's always escorting or street prostitution.

Ffs

So basically she's decided that being a sex worker is a better career than anything else? Any content she uploads will be visible forever. There's that awful forum where men upload photos of women and discuss them, I can't remember the name of it, but it was mentioned on a thread on here about adult work.

Also, if 'celebrities' can only charge 40 quid for a set of nudes, she isn't going to make an awful lot of money unless she does something very niche and perverse.

@wedswench why should the OP have that filth going on under her roof bringing shame and embarrassment might make her think twice about doing it if she's threatened with it. Can't stand the tip toeing approach of lets support chosen bad behaviour, you choose to do drugs or suck someone's cock in photos, under your own roof love not mine

I don't think it's about shame per se.

But I do think it is about boundaries.

If she chose to leave home to do it, I wouldn't have a say, because she is 18. BUT I would open the door to her return thr very second she wanted to stop and come home.

I couldn't sleep at night if I enabled it. But that's me.

It depends why OP is I upset about it doesn't it

If it was my DD I'd be upset she was doing it. Not that she was doing it under my roof.

Making her go and do it somewhere else doesn't solve the problem.

Well under my roof we respect each other and ourselves. But that's us.

Until someone doesn't. And then what? Banished?

Nah, I don't give up on my kids like that.

She won't be able to do certain jobs in the future now. I was very body positive at that age and remember thinking it's my body I can show it if I want. But I don't think I grasped that being appreciated for you looks attracts the wrong people and that only people who are deserving should be lucky enough.

Low self esteem plus flattered by the interest plus being young and naive

I wouldn't have performed fallacio or shown a picture of being doing so if that's what you are referring to

She's putting herself down to the lowest form of what she's worth

@wedswench

Until someone doesn't. And then what? Banished?

Nah, I don't give up on my kids like that.

Giving up by setting boundaries?

Give over

Try your best not to criticise- I know it will be very very difficult.
I would be extremely upset, and a few months ago, this would be illegal.
Try and listen to her reasoning and come up with some suggestions of what else she could do.
I would also look up articles of women who have had their careers/personal lives derailed because of things like this- Zara McDermott from love island has a doc on bbc about revenge porn.
You could also ask how she would feel if there were images of you available like that online. This will be what is in her future.

Any job requiring any kind of pvg would end up off limits, and many other professional roles.

*i say try not to criticise because she will become defensive and won’t listen to you at all.
You need to be calm and try your best to understand her- you need to explain how worried you are for her etc, not how disgusting etc you find the whole thing. She will hopefully realise this in time.

Well, coming down heavy handed is not going to work. It is too late for that.

Is she creating content for her OF account in your home? Are there younger dc in the home?