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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Teenagers and pocket money

51 replies

CharliesRedSock · 20/04/2017 18:04

Just wondering what others do about their teenagers and pocket money.
Dd constantly seems to want need money and I am beginning to feel like a cash machine! She gets £20/month from her Grandma. Do you give a set amount of money per month and what things do you not expect them to have to pay for/do expect them to pay for? I think we need to set up some firmer boundaries.

OP posts:

MiltopMighty · 20/04/2017 18:09

Hmmm I wil follow with interest but the last time I think I got slated.

Mine have bank accounts, I transfer money monthly into their accounts and they use it for birthday money, Christmas money, etc. They have debit cards and apps on their phones to check their balances.

They buy cinema tickets, drinks, meals out with friends, monthly phone bills, hair cuts, cologne, etc.

I can also take money out if the need arises. I think saying how much is a bit odd as these things vary so much from area to area and depends on what each family can afford and what you think is fair and right.

MiltopMighty · 20/04/2017 18:10

Sorry my post was confusing, they use their bank accounts to deposit money that they receive as gifts. My monthly payment to them isn't birthday money which is what my post sounds like.

19lottie82 · 20/04/2017 18:30

OP how old is your daughter and how much do you give her on top of the £20 a month from her grandmother?

In fairness £20 a month isn't a lot for a teenager. It's about £4.50 a week, not even enough for a cinema ticket or a fast food meal.

I think the key is, as long as you can afford it, give your DD a realistic amount of money each month that will allow her to have a (non extravagant) social life with her friends, in exchange for household tasks ect

Then make it clear what this money is to cover and when it's gone, it's gone. No more hand outs.

Davros · 20/04/2017 18:33

My DD has an Osper card which has been a godsend. It automatically loads with a set amount each week and she uses it for Starbucks etc, buying stuff on line, iTunes etc. She stopped asking me for money overnight, although will ask me to top it up sometimes for something specific. I used to give her far too much cash whenever she went anywhere in case she needed money for food, getting home etc and the costs being unpredictable. That has stopped. If she's out and needs a bit more, I can do it instantly. She can also use it to take cash out of machines as well as pay with the card in shops and restaurants. Family can add money to it for birthdays by me sending them a link. I think it's great, I am not connected to the company and I'm sure there's other similar brands

SucklingDuckling · 20/04/2017 18:37

My sister is 17 and still at home and in college, she gets £10 a week and for that she makes everybody's tea 3-4 nights a week, cleans the bathrooms once a week and helps with odd jobs around the house - we live in Lancashire if that's relevant.
Parents pay for her phone contract and driving lessons on top of that but I think £10 a week is pretty fair for what she does

Original poster

CharliesRedSock · 20/04/2017 19:17

Sorry I should have said, dd is 14 yrs

OP posts:

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 20/04/2017 19:20

I give DS16 £25 bank transfer per month, he also has a little job and earns £15 per shift. If he's going out somewhere I usually give him £20 here and there- he had £20 off me yesterday to go to the club with his friends, and only used half so has gone out tonight with what's left. I buy his clothes and bus pass. I could probably give him more into his bank and reduce the ad hoc amounts but he would spend it all on KFC and Subway.

annandale · 20/04/2017 19:21

DS is 13, gets £5 a week and doesn't have to pay for anything except bus fare to school out of that (he has a bike, it takes 20 mins to cycle there but occasionally on rainy days or when he's tired he will spend £1 to bus it). I also put £20 a month into a building society account - used to get him to pay some in, but stopped doing that as I don't want him taking any out yet! I don't make him put birthday money in as I'm happy for him to spend birthday money any way he likes.

I was quite relieved on a similar thread to find I wasn't being stupidly generous compared to most, at least I don't think so.

BackforGood · 20/04/2017 19:22

My 15 yr old gets £15 a month. We buy all clothes / toiletries. We pay her subs for everything she goes to. On the rare occasions she needs any credit for her phone, she would buy that.
She gets by fine, but there are a LOT of MNers who can't believe that she does.
18 yr old gets £18 per month from us (and has a job)

Poundpup · 20/04/2017 19:27

DS1 at sixth form gets £40 a month to spend on what he wants via monthly transfer to his bank account. I pay for his lunches, mobile contract and clubs. He also has a job for any extras.

robinsongyal · 20/04/2017 19:30

My younger sister (17) gets £20 a week and in return has to do some household tasks during the week - not clear on what but it seems to do the job, she does have the tendency to ask for some more every so often for things such as birthday presents/cards.

MsAwesomeDragon · 20/04/2017 19:39

Dd is 17. She gets £30 per week, which i think sounds like a lot, but out of that she has to buy her own clothes, school lunches, bus fares, etc. She also has to clean the kitchen and bathroom once a week to earn some of that.

I think i was spending a similar amount on her since she started secondary school but not in regular payments as i would buy quite a few clothes at the same time or hand over money for outings etc. Now it just transfers into her bank account and she has to budget for what she wants to do (i suspect sometimes she takes packed lunches to school and keeps her lunch money on expensive weeks). It's helping me get ready for the amount I'm going to have to find when she's at uni!

Desperateforsleepzzzz · 20/04/2017 20:42

Dd gets £20 a week but I deduct for bad behaviour. It doesn't go very far especially as we don't like in the town centre so even to visit friends costs a few pounds on train/bus ! She is still always asking for more. I buy her clothes and toiletries and pay her phone bill.

Original poster

CharliesRedSock · 20/04/2017 22:51

Thanks everyone, such differing amounts! We definitely need to have a think on this one.

OP posts:

BackforGood · 20/04/2017 23:08

I think part of what influences the amount, is what they have been used to.

Someone said upthread something about Starbucks or a cinema ticket. Well, if a child has been used to going to the pictures 2 or 3 times a month, and thinks it is a normal, everyday occurrence to buy a really expensive coffee when out, then they are likely to "need" more than those dc whose parents don't stop for fancy coffees and haven't taken them to the cinema except once a year for a special treat, etc. So it goes on - if you buy a magazine or book every week, and they've grown up thinking that's a normal weekly expense, then they will have an expectation that those of us who grew up going to the library just won't have. If, when you go to the cinema/theatre / day trip out you've been used to buying drinks and snacks when out, you'll have different expectations from those who have grown up with picnics and a bag of sweets from the supermarket taken from home.

My dc and nieces and nephews have been fascinated at the expectations of some of their peers once they've started mixing in wider circles as they've got older, as indeed, have some of their new friends been at what you don't need to spend, and how it's perfectly possible to enjoy yourself and spend very little.

flibberdy · 20/04/2017 23:13

DS13 has a GoHenry which tops up automatically every week with £5. If he does any jobs around the house he can earn up to £5 extra.
(He always just gets £5)

This will pay for any trips into town with his buddies, cinema, cheeky Nando's etc.

millifiori · 20/04/2017 23:18

MY DC get £50 pcm paid into an account which they access with a debit card. I pay their phone and travel to school on top of that, and all their clothes and toiletries. But they pay for fares at weekends, magazines, coffees, cinema & socialising, books & music.

kingscrossnoodle · 20/04/2017 23:19

I give mine £20 a week and they get £20 a month from grandparent.

Davros · 20/04/2017 23:23

I mentioned Starbucks up thread but I never go in there, can't stand the place and don't drink coffee. DD sometimes goes after school with a couple of mates and I think it's good for her socially to be able to do that. It's hardly extravagant imo.

MiltopMighty · 20/04/2017 23:26

Ha! davros I'm not a fan either but my DSs do occasionally go in and buy drinks or food. I don't think it's extravagant either.

corythatwas · 21/04/2017 09:08

We give/gave a set amount monthly, not as much as some MNers, but that was possible because we are in a poorer demographic so less difficulties about keeping up with friends. Ds is 16; he gets £30/month and has to keep himself in clothes for that. However, I do pay his gym subscription as I see that as part of preparing for future work (will need to pass fitness test) so no different to paying for revision classes or driving lessons. And if I go with him to a football match, it would be my treat: if he goes with a friend, he pays for it out of his allowance or birthday money.

Ragwort · 21/04/2017 09:18

Back makes some very good points - people's expectations are so different; my DS (16) gets £25 a month (straight to Bank Account); he has a very small part time job (another £20 odd a month); he also saves birthday and Christmas money. He buys his own clothes - I might get the absolute basics but no way am I paying £30 for a T shirt or £60 for the new trainers he saved up for .

We pay phone contract.

But his expectations are quite low - a cinema trip would be a treat a couple of times a year, a meal out would be Burger King .

TrollMummy · 21/04/2017 09:36

We give DD £30pm into a bank account which she has a app for so can manage her spending. We pay for her travel season ticket, her phone and essentials so this money is for any trips out with friends or to save up if she wants to buy trainers or clothes. It works well as it means that we are not constantly shelling out and also she has to learn how to budget, save and make decisions about what she spends. If she blows it all on Starbucks then she any afford the trainers.

Rumtopf · 21/04/2017 09:54

Dd 14 gets £10 pm paid into her current account from us, £10 pm into another account from her Dad (don't even get me started on that one!) and I put £50 pm into her (non accessible) savings account. She also earns around £25 a month doing a paper round at the weekends. We pay for her clubs, buss pass, phone and lunch card at school.
I also buy most of her toiletries with the normal shopping (apart from expensive branded makeup) and most of her clothes.

If she's going out with her friends I'll normally give her some extra for travel and lunch, but that is dependant on chores being done, good behaviour etc. She can also earn more by doing extra jobs (washing the car, inside and out, for instance will earn her £10).

ShanghaiDiva · 21/04/2017 10:03

We give Ds 160 pounds per month to manage all his spending - travel to and from school by metro, lunch at school, topping up his phone, going out with friends at the weekend, birthday presents for friends etc. He is nearly 17.
We pay for his clothes and toiletries - but he is pretty low maintenance apart from trainers and football boots.

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