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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teenagers and pocket money

51 replies

CharliesRedSock · 20/04/2017 18:04

Just wondering what others do about their teenagers and pocket money.
Dd constantly seems to want need money and I am beginning to feel like a cash machine! She gets £20/month from her Grandma. Do you give a set amount of money per month and what things do you not expect them to have to pay for/do expect them to pay for? I think we need to set up some firmer boundaries.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 21/04/2017 15:59

That's my point Davros and MiltopMighty Smile. Everyone has different expectations, and different things that they think are 'essential', 'reasonable', or 'extravagant' . None are right or wrong, but different expectations lead to a different amount of pocket money / allowance being "needed" by our teens.
I like these threads as they often bring out a huge range of answers, and it's funny how some people really struggle to believe that either some people have so much to spend, or that some people get by on so little, without feeling totally deprived.
There's another thread running at the moment about how much it is reasonable to spend on a night out, and I'm stunned at how many people are talking in 3 figures. I have no problem with it AT ALL, if they have that kind of disposable income, after all, that money keeps the economy ticking over and keeps people in work, but, in the circles I mix in, the amounts for an ordinary (no special occasion) meeting a few friends for a drink type night are a fraction of what is being talked about.
It's the same with what people spend on their weekly shop threads or holiday threads or S&B threads and so on. MN is a pretty diverse community.

MiltopMighty · 21/04/2017 16:05

Yes, it's true, BackforGood

And that's why I didn't share how much I give mine - last time this came up here I was slated for giving them too much apparently when they are middle as far as I can tell among their peers - they keep an eye on their balances and that is what I want.

I'm glad to see here that not everyone thinks that a young teen should "have a job" and never receive money from their parents to manage on their own lest they be ruined for life or whatever.

And I do find that they are more careful when they have an idea about their income rather than constantly asking for money for xyz ad hoc.

socialanxietysrus · 21/04/2017 16:09

I don't give 13yr DS a set amount of money a month, mainly as some months he doesn't need much and others he needs more! So within reason I'll give him what he asks for

He also gets his phone contract paid for which is £30 per month

MiltopMighty · 21/04/2017 16:13

I adjust it as well, socialanxietysrus - depending On what is going on - if the whole month is school then it's less, if it is break time then I give more. It seems to give them more incentive this way to plan. They don't manage school lunches, though, those are paid separately.

BertrandRussell · 21/04/2017 16:19

My ds is 16, and gets 40 quid a month. We also pay for his phone and basic clothes and toiletries.

He also hs the ability to earn money- £50 in a weekend if he wants to, but he is very busy, so only does it when he needs extra.

I expect a lot from him in terms of help round the house, but that is not related to his allowance.

Mumofjustthe1 · 21/04/2017 18:30

I live in London so everything expensive I have just upped ds to £80 pm but he has to pay for his own phone with that too. He is 16 nearly 17 to hoping he will find a little Saturday job soon

Cammysmoma · 21/04/2017 18:37

14 and she already gets £20 from her Gran, I would give her £20 a month, that's £40, personally I would make her responsible for buying her own deodorants and make up etc.. between school and any other commitments she has, she only really has weekends free to do things (I.e swimming cinema etc) I think £40 is good! I got a £6 per week x

Isawahatonce · 21/04/2017 19:57

I don't have teenagers yet but it amazes me how much seems to be normal for pocket money. Back when I was a teenager, I didn't get anything. My parents paid for my phone and school uniform, I bought other clothes and paid for going out with birthday/christmas money and I had summer jobs from when I was 15. I will definitely be giving my children pocket money when they're teenagers but I thought £20 was pretty reasonable, even quite generous.

BertrandRussell · 21/04/2017 20:12

Things are expensive. If my ds wants to go to a reasonably sized town, for example, it's a fiver on the train. Guitar strings are a tenner. Books are £7ish.

sheepskinshrug · 21/04/2017 21:00

Dcs are in Year 9. They get £5/week as long as their desk is clear - that means clear of glasses and their bathrooms are tidy...,i.e. not full of clothes and towels. But they are required to do other household duties without payment or reward. We've given them an extra £20 over Easter holidays for outings.

Sadik · 21/04/2017 22:35

As well as expectations, I think it depends very much on their social circle and what is the norm.

DD has £25/month 'pocket money' plus works in our family business in the holidays.

At 14 if she wants more money than you're willing to give her, I'd suggest that she looks for work. Babysitting is always a good option, then round here cafes will often take 14 y/os as they're cheap, also being a waitress at weddings/events (obviously sporadic but can be well paid), making things to sell on Etsy if her talents lie in that direction etc etc.

applesareredandgreen · 21/04/2017 23:28

DS 16 gets £40 per month DD to his bank a/c which goes on computer games/ clothes which he wants but doesn't need (IMO not his!). We pay all school costs , basic clothing, toiletries and his phone contract was b'day present last year. I also normally give him the odd £10 when he's going out to make sure he has enough money for food (buys subway/McDonald's most weeks if playing sport/ going to cinema etc)

I always think from these threads that DS does very well out of us but he tends to feel hard done by and reports of friends being given £100 for random day out shopping.

ragged · 23/04/2017 18:42

DC get their age per month (so 15yo DD gets £15). No strings attached. They can do jobs to earn more £ (they choose to not do jobs).
I pay for almost everything (I would say).
I pay for almost nothing (DD would say!!).

I (we) pay for all transport, £10/month for school food extras, phone bill, clothes, random outings, some snacks, gifts for DD's friends' birthdays.
I (we) don't pay for trinkets, pointless clothes, knickknacks, expensive café visits, random gifts.

Make of that what you will.

packofshunts · 23/04/2017 19:05

So are the Osper/Go Henry accounts any good?

Davros · 23/04/2017 19:19

I think Osper is great

Empireoftheclouds · 23/04/2017 19:28

Go henry and the like are fine for under 11's but if they can have a current account at 11 with a debit card then why not get them it

Davros · 24/04/2017 17:13

DD doesn't have a bank account though and no need for one so Osper works very well for her. I've also got one for her brother who is 21 (it is officially for under 18s) but he has severe ASD so can't manage money independently.

sheepskinshrug · 24/04/2017 21:27

Dcs have debit card/bank account. We pay them via telephone banking. They can get money in 30mins....it's proved very useful.

socialanxietysrus · 26/04/2017 10:02

I love Osper, can upload money immediately to DS if he needs it. I forgot my purse when we were out once and I was able to use the app to put some money on his Osper card so we were able to pay for what we needed

I also like the fact I can see what he's spending money on

packofshunts · 26/04/2017 18:57

Does Osper cost anything to run?

Empireoftheclouds · 26/04/2017 19:08

You can transfer money in seconds online with current accounts though? Why would anyone pay for osepr or go Henry for 11+ when they can have a current account with a debit card for free Confused

JustSpeakSense · 26/04/2017 19:17

My teens have bank accounts and debit cards. DD13 & DS15 they manage their accounts online.

They get £30 per month transferred into accounts (birthday & Christmas money also gets transferred into accounts)

DS15 also has a dishwashing job and earns about £40 - £50 a month.

Tbf £30 isn't really enough for DD13 as that's £7 a week and wouldn't cover bus fare, fast food meal & coffee on a trip out with her friends so I give her extra cash occasionally.

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 26/04/2017 19:19

Ds1 is 19 now and works full time so has more spare money than me!!! As a younger teen he didn't have pocket money we would give him money as and when he needed it

Ds2 is 15 and goes to a different secondary school and moves in different circles. We were going with the same approach money as and when but it wasn't working out due to the quick pop into Starbucks or subway etc on the way home from school (he has to
Go through large town centre to get to and from school) so he gets £10 a week paid into his NatWest account which is for the unplanned expenses. We then still pay for his phone and buy clothes as and when he needs them. If he wants say a pair of trainers just because then he usually has money from birthday/Christmas and he can use that. I do try and encourage him to save rather than spend though.

Garlicansapphire · 27/04/2017 22:51

My DD16 gets £80 per month straight into her bank account and has to buy her daily lunches, travel, most of her clothes, make up and any social activities (except I pay for her dance classes and phone and essential shoes and toiletries). I would love her to get regular work -she does babysitting and events from time to time.

Fleurdelise · 28/04/2017 09:13

I've added up how much I was giving DS (almost 16) in ad hoc "small" pocket money to go out and have some fun and realised he's draining my account. It was the "I'm going out with friends after school on Friday", "I'm going to the cinema on a Saturday" etc.

So now I give him a fixed amount every Friday and when it's gone it's gone. It would probably be considered too much on this thread but I was his age once and I know how lucky I was not to have to ask friends to buy me a soft drink as my parents would make sure I had the spare cash.

Ultimately it depends on family income and how much you can afford, we live in a fairly affluent area and DS would have no social life on £20 a month.

He also had a job from 14 to 15 but now gave it up due to GCSEs, I know he's hard working and will get a summer job after GCSEs.