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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DD has been sending rude snapchat photos, WWYD?

48 replies

BigSandyBalls2015 · 13/01/2017 11:14

DD is nearly 16 and left her snapchat open on my iPad last night. I prob shouldn't have looked but I've had my suspicions and sure enough she's been sending inappropriate photos to boys, one in particular.

Most of them are close up of her bum, still in pants though, leaning over etc, another of her boobs. I'm so disappointed as we've had several chats about this sort of thing.

So what do I do? Admit I snooped? Have another 'general' chat?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 13/01/2017 11:16

Oh you need to talk to her about that. Those photos could end up anywhere, at best shared amongst the boys at school. She needs to learn about self respect and not doing this. She's obviously just immature and easily led, but this is so far from ok it far outweighs the snooping issue.

Original poster
BigSandyBalls2015 · 13/01/2017 11:36

That's my gut feeling too. Silly girl, this has really upset me.

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 13/01/2017 11:39

Oh no you are going to have to say something to her I think, they could end up all round school and depending on the pictures they could be illegal images because she is only 15.

JennyOnAPlate · 13/01/2017 11:42

Oh op this could get messy...she'll be mortified that you've seen the pictures Flowers

I think you're going to have to tell her that you've seen them and go from there. The boy is probably showing them to all his mates.

MrsJayy · 13/01/2017 11:45

She is going to be mortified and will be furious try and stay calm and choose words carefully you dont want her to feel ashamed .

DearMrDilkington · 13/01/2017 11:45

I'd possibly let the school know as well so they can have a talk with the whole year in an assembly reminding pupils about being safe online. You don't have to say your dd was sending photos just say you found out a different way if you wish to keep it private.

She won't be the only one doing it.

JustSpeakSense · 13/01/2017 11:50

I'd tell her what you found and remove Snapchat
From her for a period of time (3 months)

Aquamarine1029 · 13/01/2017 16:27

It's time to bring the hammer down. She may be 16 but she's still a child. She obviously has no clue as to how much damage can be done by sending pictures like this.

frenchfancy · 13/01/2017 18:05

Screen shot. Print out and ask her if she wants you to show them to your neighbour, her teacher, her boss(if she has one). Point out that if you can do that so can anyone else.

Bluntness100 · 13/01/2017 18:08

carefully you dont want her to feel ashamed

ChocoChou · 13/01/2017 18:08

I thought snapchat deleted the pics straight away? I've never been able to re-look at the pics I've sent..

You need to talk to her, she is putting herself in danger, but you know this. Good luck Flowers

AndNowItsSeven · 13/01/2017 18:11

Photographs are classed as indecent images of children at ages 16 and 17 now as well as 15. Your dd could technically be charged with distributing such images even if they are of herself. It's unlikely but she is committing an offence.

mrsC4 · 13/01/2017 18:12

Snapchats are available to view at a later date? Was this on her snapchat story?

5notrumps · 13/01/2017 18:25

You can screen shot a snap chat image which means you can keep it. That's what all the kids do with dodgy pictures. A lot of kids have been caught out in that way.

MrsJayy · 13/01/2017 18:28

Is it under 18 for images i thought it was 16.

ChocoChou · 13/01/2017 18:30

5notrumps

I understand if you receive a snapchat you can screenshot it and keep it.
But (from what I know, i may be wrong) you can't look back on the snaps that you have sent which is why I'm a bit confused as to how OP has seen them.
Unless DD has been screenshotting her own snapchats....??

5notrumps · 13/01/2017 18:33

Choco: Oh, sorry, misunderstood. You are right. That is odd. Confused

AthenasOwl · 13/01/2017 18:34

You can save your own snapchats without having to screenshot them. Snapchat has a new memories feature as well which allows all pictures taken with the Snapchat camera to be saved in one place, doesn't mean they are being sent. Anything you send gets deleted by the other person unless they screenshot and you get a notification if someone has done this.

Gooseberryfools · 13/01/2017 18:38

Tell her to only send snaps that she would be happy to show her Gran.

Or if you hunt enough on you will probably find a film about photos spreading/ruining lives

AndNowItsSeven · 13/01/2017 18:38

It used to be under 16's Mrs Jay it was changed to under 18's.

Gooseberryfools · 13/01/2017 18:39

I would talk to the school because this is the sort of issue that needs to be covered in pse

AndNowItsSeven · 13/01/2017 18:41

If it’s a sexually explicit image of a child (under 18 years of age):

If so, you should contact local police on 101 for advice and guidance. Do not delete the image and under no circumstances should you save the image, send it to another person or show it to anyone else as you may be committing an offence.

AndNowItsSeven · 13/01/2017 18:41

Sorry that the above was from an information poster.

AndNowItsSeven · 13/01/2017 18:42

This depends on what the image is or what the chat involves and who it is sent between. However, it is a crime to possess, take, make, distribute or show anyone an indecent or abuse image of a child or young person under 18 years of age. Always remember that, while the age of consent is 16, the relevant age in relation to indecent images is 18.

Original poster
BigSandyBalls2015 · 13/01/2017 21:38

I've no idea how they're saved. Maybe there's loads more that aren't.

I've spent the evening thinking about how to get DD alone to talk to her, without her sister or DH being around. She presented me with the perfect opportunity when she asked for a lift to a friends. Car journey, no eye contact, she can't storm off etc etc.

As expected she was angry, defensive, I've snooped and had no right to etc etc. I stayed calm(ish) and reminded her that it was MY iPad, not her phone. I said it was illegal, foolish, that the boys have prob been sharing the pics amongst their mates. I said she's better than that, should have more self respect etc. And, not sure if I should have said this as it reminds me of my mum, I said that any decent lad wouldn't want her as a girlfriend if they knew she'd been sharing pics with random lads. Great as a cheap thrill but nothing serious.

She just kept repeating 'so you're saying I'm a slut, that's what you're saying isn't it, I'm a slut'.

No that's not what I'm saying at all but have some self respect, you're a bright attractive girl who has had the assemblies at school, the talks at home, so why have I found all this shit on your snapchat ....

Hate these teen years, it's so difficult. It seems to be constant challenges with her ... partying, drinking, no gcse revision. She scraped 6 GCSEs in her mocks but is capable of much more. Now this Sad

OP posts: