DD has been sending rude snapchat photos, WWYD?

[BigSandyBalls2015]

DD is nearly 16 and left her snapchat open on my iPad last night. I prob shouldn't have looked but I've had my suspicions and sure enough she's been sending inappropriate photos to boys, one in particular.

Most of them are close up of her bum, still in pants though, leaning over etc, another of her boobs. I'm so disappointed as we've had several chats about this sort of thing.

So what do I do? Admit I snooped? Have another 'general' chat?

"And, not sure if I should have said this as it reminds me of my mum, I said that any decent lad wouldn't want her as a girlfriend if they knew she'd been sharing pics with random lads. Great as a cheap thrill but nothing serious."

Bit sexist and unnecessary to make her feel like she's damaged goods.

I would have kept the emphasis on the fact that the pictures could cause her harm.

I removed all privileges regarding technology Internet and use for homework revision was on the laptop sitting next to me for 3 months.
I decided and explained that if they weren't mature enough to keep themselves safe on their phone I pad etc then I would keep them safe by supervising. A bit like time in rather than out.
Since insert privileges were reinstated it seems to have worked apart from a couple of slips with language in texts and one photo. But phone was immediately removed for 1 week and supervision for another 2. And they know I will spot check phone they have lost the right to privacy in that regard.

She sounds a handful Bigsandy and it is tough, of course you were not calling her a slut but sadly this is the kind of language kids use about each other. Ive no answers to teen years i scrapped through it with mine just keep doing what you are doing though they mostly come out the otherside decent adults.

Of course you know the bit about no decent lad wanting her was wrong to say - you make her sound like an object for sale whose worth has been devalued by expressing herself sexually so yes, by saying that it does sound as if you think she is a slut) but it's hard to be word perfect in the heat of the moment. I would focus on the fact that those images are now out there for the rest of her life and discussing with her whether that is something she wants? And of course reminding her that it is illegal, I think, for her to share such photos, depending on how explicit they are.

You aren't calling her a slut but the other kids will when the photos get shared around.

Brutally, If she wants to make money from her cleavages , tell her to wait until she is 18 and then go get a job doing so. Otherwise, what the hell is she doing putting these photos out for the world to sneer at?

I haven't found anything like this on DDs phone yet -but have found some dodgy chats. I tell her not to put anything on the internet that you wouldn't want your granny to see...they are there for ever.
And they could surface again a long time in the future to embarrass you -especially if you were famous or something but even if you aren't ...how would she feel if there were similar pictures of you at the same age going around her school?
How would she feel if in the future someone showed HER teenage daughter or son those pictures of their mum.... that should make her cringe!

Yes as PP say what she is doing is illegal. If another parents sees these images on their child's phone and decide to take it further and contact the police your DD will not only die of embarrassment but we could potentially be in trouble. And as your told her, I doubt these images are staying only with the boy/boys she's sent them to, they will be shared around and teenagers are cruel enough without giving them a reason.

Typically girls that feel the need to share such images are suffering low self esteem and are looking for some kind of validation but obviously these boys aren't the way she should be dealing with this.

Chocochou there is an option on snapchat to save images you've sent and keep them in a "memories" folder

She has committed a criminal offence which is creating and distributing indecent images of a child. Did she get that?
Your comment about no decent lad was way off base and likely to have the opposite effect to the one you hoped for.

As it was your Ipad I don't think you were snooping at all. As you are already aware the pics could have been shared with God knows who.
This Beautiful Life by Helen Schulman is a good story to show her.
It wouldn't be as bad if it was just being sent to one boy who she was close to and a boyfriend. Sadly yes the boys at school will be thrilled that she is happy to send them these snaps. Also unfortunately they will have less respect for her. I don't think it is unreasonable to point this out. You haven't called her a slut at all, she put those words in your mouth. So she must be aware that sending those images might make people think badly of her.
Hopefully she will stop doing it now she has been caught out & won't start getting more secretive. God the internet as a lot to answer for!!

At least tell her that if she ever sends them again, make sure her face isn't in them.

I wasn't aware you could get snapchat on an iPad. I've only ever been able to download it on my phone.

Screen shot them and show her saying who shall I send them too. I could put them on FB, email them to grandma , how about I whatsapp them (your friends name ) or I could show people in work during my lunch break. That'll be a laugh. Perhaps I could add some captions to them. Skid mark on your pants. What about I draw a dick here on your boobs.
This will show her how easily they can be used. Perhaps forward one to her dad , your parents. Sometimes they need to see how easily it can be done. Words from you are just noise. Take her phone too.

Silver your post is awful, forward one to her dad!

I think you have to lay it on thick with the fact it is illegal to take, distribute or store such images of a child. She is a child. It is illegal and could result in police involvement.

With his knowledge. I would share that sort of info to sort it with my husband and my child's dad. It's a very good way of proving a point. We would tackle it together. She has gone beyond being a prude. It proves how easy her pictures can be shared.

If you sent the picture on you would be arrested and rightly so for distributing indecent images of a child.

Or if you hunt enough on you will probably find a film about photos spreading/ruining lives

There's one called Disconnect iirc,very powerful.

I would absolutely show her dad,he needs to know too.

You tell her dad not show.

I'd show her father - he has a right to know.
I'd take her phone away until she was mature enough to own one.
I'd explain my serious concerns to her.
I'd point out any boy downloading the images could find themselves on the sex offenders register.
Absolutely not acceptable. I might ground her too.

I agree crumbs

For general info, there are some powerful short films suitable for different age groups on the ThinkUKnow website which is produced by CEOP (part of police). There are also good resources for parents there too and also a click button link where you can report directly to the police and get guidance from child protection officers. You can never be too careful with this kind of thing. And yes it is a crime to hold or distribute indecent images of a minor.