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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

My 14yr old daughters weight loss and obbession with exercise.

54 replies

Lifeisshort123 · 17/08/2016 11:29

My 14yr old daughter has changed a lot in the past year.. She went for 8 and a half stone a size 10 to 7 stone a size 6/8 and kids clothes. I am very worried about her as she has lost a stone and a half in 12 months and now exercises 4 days a week which may not sound to much but she is so thin and has a body fat percentage of 10 percent which just seems not enough. She is very sporty but I fear that she is slipping into some sort of eating disorder or mental illness. She avoids inviting friends around for tea as she knows I'll make them eat pizza and popcorn ect. She gets very upset when she is made to eat a slice of cake or a packet of crisps which obviously isn't often but she gets very upset. Should I be seeking help or stopping her from exercising??

OP posts:

spaintrotter · 17/08/2016 11:31

This sounds like me when I was in my teens. I avoided any social situation which would mean that I would have to eat foods that would 'make me fat' and I ended up in hospital because the lack of food and too much exercise weakened my heart.

I don't mean to worry you but I would seek help before she goes too far like I did.

HeyMacWey · 17/08/2016 11:33

Speak to your gp for advice and have a look at websites such as Beat - I think they may have an information line too.
If you try to stop her from exercising she'll only find other ways to reduce calories.

HeyMacWey · 17/08/2016 11:34

www.b-eat.co.uk

Original poster

Lifeisshort123 · 17/08/2016 11:45

Thank you, she looks so slim now and it's really worrying me. The GP thinks she is a healthy weight but surely 14, 7 stone and 5ft 4 is to slim?
She seems to be avoiding any situations where she might have to eat food that 1/2 years ago she would have loved such as chocolate. She is exercising about 3.5/4 hours a week but I don't think she is eating enough. She has also decided to go vegetarian but I have a cut feeling this is so she doesn't have to eat a diet that is some what high in fat. If we get an ice cream out and about she always will pick something tiny like a minimilk or an ice pop..

I feel like she is showing signs of anorexia but I don't know if she is displaying all the signs..

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Original poster

Lifeisshort123 · 17/08/2016 11:47

Should I cut her exercise down or will it only make it worse?
Surely, a girl of 14 shouldn't be exercising 4 days a week?..
she used to do gymnastics once a week and that was it and she was perfectly healthy.
What is worrying me is that she is the same weight as she was when she was 10!.

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lljkk · 17/08/2016 11:47

Of course she's displaying all the signs.
How do you know her body fat %, that is ridiculously low.

lljkk · 17/08/2016 11:48

7 days a week of exercise would be fine, it's the avoiding food & body fat % that scream something is wrong.

Original poster

Lifeisshort123 · 17/08/2016 11:53

We have scales with the body fat percentage measurements on it. She has virtually no fat on her upper body and a tiny bit on her thighs and stomach but her hip bones and collar bones stick out. She seems to think she is very healthy and as I am obese myself she thinks I am trying to make her fat.
I don't understand why she doesn't want a friend around it's a bit of pizza I am sure she won't die..
I am not an expert on body fat but it seems far to little!

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Original poster

Lifeisshort123 · 17/08/2016 11:54

I am so frustrated that just because she is still a healthy weight (very low on the healthy weight but still a healthy weight) they refuse to get her help.

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Magazinepile · 17/08/2016 11:57

The excercise and eating isn't normal but my dd is 5ft 4 and 7 stone! She's slim in a very good way with nice figure and I think it's perfectly normal as does she and her peers are similar. wish mine was the same

Magazinepile · 17/08/2016 11:59

Should as she's also 14, 15 in Feb X
Hope your dd is ok but I think it's fine X

FruitCider · 17/08/2016 12:02

I was 5ft 2 and 6 stone 4 at that age. I did a lot of gymnastics and also had low body fat, and did not want to gain weight as I did competitive gymnastics. Have you spoken to her? It could be something,not could be nothing. But right now she does not meet the diagnostic criteria for anorexia if that is your worry?

CatNip2 · 17/08/2016 12:06

I wouldn't have an issue with the exercise, I think that amount of exercise is fine and in fact good, I don't think the eating, for a typical teenager, is normal.

I don't know what to suggest as my DD was the opposite at that age and her lack of exercise and vegetable free diet (she was unsurprisingly overweight) was a constant worry/battle.

It took until 19 for her to accept what was healthy/normal and she decided that herself, nothing I said or did helped at all.

Cant offer any specific help for your situation just wanted to say teenage girls and food/exercise are a difficult thing

Thefitfatty · 17/08/2016 12:10

She's exercising 4 days a week, but for how long? 4 days is fine, 4 days at 3 or 4+ hours at a time isn't.

Is it just junk she's avoiding, or all foods?

Original poster

Lifeisshort123 · 17/08/2016 12:18

Usually 45 minutes- 1 and a half hours. Usually 4 hours a week as she has started her GCSE's and I think that 4 hours a week is more than enough.
She wants to do 3 hour sessions in the gym but I wont let her.
She is avoiding junk food and is seems to be scared about eating over 2000 calories even though it wouldn't harm her if she did as she could easily put on a few pounds.

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Thefitfatty · 17/08/2016 12:20

I would certainly keep an eye on her to make sure it doesn't escalate, but as others have said, if her BMI is in the healthy range and she doesn't seem to be suffering any ill effects, there's not much you can do.

Original poster

Lifeisshort123 · 17/08/2016 12:21

Oh wow that sounds very underweight to me, she wants to get her body fat percentage lower which is scary as it was 15 percent (two months ago) and is now 10 percent. She is fit and seems to be healthy but her energy levels have gone down a lot..

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Original poster

Lifeisshort123 · 17/08/2016 12:23

Her BMI is 18.4 so appertantly nothing to worry about. I still am convinced that something is going to I think I may ring the BEAT helpline or talk to her GP again about my concerns. Surely a 14yr old girl shouldn't be avoiding junk food or get upset when she eats it. She was nearly in tear when she ate some chocolate cake at her birthday party :(

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Thefitfatty · 17/08/2016 12:23

her energy levels have gone down a lot..

Not surprising as she isn't eating enough to maintain her workouts. Can you get her a personal trainer? They may be able to talk to her about proper nutrition and optimizing her workouts?

Original poster

Lifeisshort123 · 17/08/2016 12:26

I don't think she exercises to much but I think as she is very slim she shouldn't be exercising as much. She also found dumbells in her room and fear she is weight lifting as an effort to burn more calories in private but she says they are for her friend and she is 'looking after them.'
She always looks so tired that's why I have an issue with the exercising but it's mainly the 'fear' of junk food.

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Original poster

Lifeisshort123 · 17/08/2016 12:30

That's a good idea. She used to be able to swim for 30 minute at a time but now seems to be doing 5-10 laps then having to take a break as she is so tired. Does anyone know how many calories she should be eating a day?
I'd say probably 1900-2200 but she seems to think she only need 1500 and is usually upset that her dinners push her 'calorie allowance' over the top.
Her best friend is a much bigger child than my dd but she appertantly eats 1500 calories but I am trying to explain that my dd needs more than that because she is more active and therefore burns it of.
Does anyone have a daughter aged 13-15 who has an eating disorder or issues around food?

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ellesbellesxxx · 17/08/2016 12:34

You have had some great advice so far but please can I add... Please don't make her eat junk food... I went through a phase (anxiety related not wanting to be thinner) of not eating much and people trying to be helpful would buy lots of chocolate etc and put pressure on me to eat it. Having not eaten much, I would then have a complete sugar come down after and get shaky etc. I know someone else who developed bulimia in a similar situation.
Def good idea to talk to beat, GP.
She has a good mum :)

Thefitfatty · 17/08/2016 12:34

Easily about 2200 given her age. It's the getting upset about eating that's the worrying part. That isn't normal or healthy.

J0kersSmile · 17/08/2016 12:41

This may be a stupid Idea.

But I log my food into my fitbit app and it comes in saying if you're on target for calories, over or under. You can choose if you want to lose or maintain. If she could see how many calories she needs to maintain to be healthy and that it's ok to eat all your calories everyday it could help.

It's could go the other way and make her more obsessed but she sounds obsessed anyway.

Original poster

Lifeisshort123 · 17/08/2016 12:48

I don't but sometimes she has to, like a birthday party or if we go to friend houses at the weekend ect.

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