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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

13 yr old DD rolling up school skirt

80 replies

vdbfamily · 21/04/2016 20:11

Advice please.
My 13 year old DD is 6' tall . Her school uniform is a navy pleated skirt with a flat panel first from waistband and then pleats from below hip level. She hates the panel so rolls the skirt over at the top. This puts it as several inches above the knee. I ask her daily to unroll it, school ask her most days to sort it out. School rang DH this week to say they would escalate the issue if she kept disobeying. I have removed her phone and said she will not get it back until she conforms. She sys everyone else does it and you get teased and bullied if you don't. I suspect hers is more obvious as she is so tall so far too much thigh showing. Apart from this she is being fairly well behaved. When I got home today from work she had cooked us all tea,walked the dog and got the washing in. I gave her a big hug and said thanks and then noticed the wretched skirt hoiked up. It is making such a bad atmosphere and I really feel at a loss as to how to explain to her that she just has to follow school rules. Any ideas?

OP posts:

daisywhoopsie · 21/04/2016 20:13

Does her school allow girls to wear trousers?

If not, if she hates the panel, are you able to get her a skirt without one?

blueskyinmarch · 21/04/2016 20:14

Let her hoick it up and get into trouble. She needs to understand if she breaks the rules there are consequences. Better learn this lesson on a school uniform issue than something more serious.

Cocolepew · 21/04/2016 20:15

Let the school escalate it, if its the rules and she knows let her take the consequences.
My DD rolls her up so much it sits in a big bumfle round her waist

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 21/04/2016 20:16

'twas ever thus.

Just tell her that she will get in a lot of trouble at school & if she doesn't take your advice not to do it, she'll just have to accept the consequences.

She's otherwise a good kid, don't make this a 'home' issue.

Legs. Seen in shorts. Seen in swimwear. Just legs. Let the school get vexed over it if they must.

FaithlessOne · 21/04/2016 20:16

It's not worth the battle at home. Ignore. Let her take the consequences at school.

Dellarobia · 21/04/2016 20:16

I'd leave the school to deal with this one. It's a pretty minor crime in the scheme of things - not worth being too strict about.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 21/04/2016 20:17

LOL. Love all the cross posts sayng the same thing 😁

KnotNora · 21/04/2016 20:18

Ah memories

Don't mention it at home, let the school deal with it. Is it so short you would veto it in home clothes? If not then just ignore.

Me and my best mate took ours to the seamstress to get them taken up

mudandmayhem01 · 21/04/2016 20:18

I did this at school, my DD does it and I bet my mum did in the 60s, small act of rebellion, she is breaking the school rule, not your rule, let school des with it

Katz · 21/04/2016 20:19

This is why I hate school uniform. Does a rolled up skirt stop her learning or influence her ability to comprehend stuff - nope! So why make a big deal about it.

If she was being disruptive in class or answering the teachers back then I could see this as something worth punishing.

I'd point out that the rules are there unless she wants sanctions she has to obey them. But not personally punish her at home

GeorgeTheThird · 21/04/2016 20:20

Oh gawd, I used to do this. I would tell school that you can't make her wear it properly when she is at school. They know this. Talk to them about what consequences they will impose, make clear you will support them. But I wouldn't go into battle about it at home. Tell her she shouldn't do it, but don't keep on telling her. Teenagers do dumb stuff - this isn't that bad.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 21/04/2016 20:21

Memories

Let the school deal with it.

Ilovetorrentialrain · 21/04/2016 20:23

I think this has been the done thing since forever. As DameDiazepam says... memories. Been there.

averylongtimeago · 21/04/2016 20:23

I used to do this in the 70s and my DD did in the 90s, and in a few years time I dare say my DGD will too.
If the school won't allow trousers, and she knows the consequences, let her get on with it.

AlleyCatandRastaMouse · 21/04/2016 20:25

I actually though this was going to be an empathetic nostalgic post about how you now had a common bond with your daughter.

Skirts to the ground became a 'thing' during the grunge era at my school among those not partaking in the rolling. The nuns chastised equally about both, they were largely ignored. It is a rite of passage I fear. Still most of the worst protagonists were university educated and have professional careers so all is not lost.

KnotNora · 21/04/2016 20:27

Katz, I think it's the broken windows theory...let the little things slide and you're more likely to have bigger things to deal with

Like cutting the lining of your blazer to hide your fags

Hassled · 21/04/2016 20:31

I was one of those girls effectively just wearing a large cloth belt. And now I see girls from the high school doing the same thing - I don't really know why schools bother fighting this.

Katz · 21/04/2016 20:32

I agree on the small things escalating but I don't think uniform is necessary

ILikeUranus · 21/04/2016 20:33

They're just legs. Do you make her wear a Burka or Niqab on the beach? Please don't let this silly non-issue affect your relationship with your lovely dd. If the school get shirty, deal with it then as a school issue, as you see fit if it was my dd I'd tell them to stop looking at her legs and stop mentioning them, stat.

daisywhoopsie · 21/04/2016 20:34

Wish I'd known the cutting the liner of your blazer trick, Knot!

Original poster

vdbfamily · 21/04/2016 20:38

WOW....all agreed. And trousers is a good suggestion if I can get school trousers with a 36" leg. I did look for a fully pleated skirt but could not find one of those either. Okay...I'll take a chill pill. Thanks.

OP posts:

ApocalypseSlough · 21/04/2016 20:42

It's not a biggie.

averylongtimeago · 21/04/2016 21:03

Long tall Sally for trousers, or on line from Dorothy Perkins.

gymboywalton · 21/04/2016 21:17

m.next.co.uk/g31152s2#386782

Original poster

vdbfamily · 21/04/2016 21:25

Have discussed trousers just now....no way unless skinny jeans are allowed. Long Tall Sally is for 'old grannies'like me apparently. ( I am 6' too and do rely on LTS) Have just come into my room and realised she also got the washing in off the line and sorted it all. I had gone looking for it and decided I must have imagined hanging a load out before work as it had all disappeared. It is amazing how lovely she can be when I have her phone! I will return it in the morning.
I think what annoys me is that I want her to respect people in authority and it concerns me that she just does not care. If she gets a job and flouts the uniform code daily she will be sacked (and she has expressed interest in working for a caring profession so could face this) I stand there in my uniform and say 'do you really think uniforms are designed to look nice?' but to no avail.

OP posts:

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