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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

What time does your 16 year old (Year11) have to be home?

38 replies

MummiUni · 27/03/2015 20:59

DS hardly ever goes out so i am a bit clueless with what is the norm.

He thinks 11.00 - I have no idea if that is too late or not.

OP posts:

TeenAndTween · 27/03/2015 21:03

DD hardly goes out either.

Is it a school night?
What is he doing?

e.g. Party on Sat night is one thing (11 would be OK probably), 'hanging out' on Tue with a CA next morning would be quite another!

Original poster

MummiUni · 27/03/2015 21:04

i"m thinking weekends or holidays

OP posts:

peppermum · 27/03/2015 21:08

It's not the time that's critical to me, more how they're getting home (lift from you, bus, being dropped off, walking?) I think 11 would be fine, but maybe not if they were walking home alone. If I'm picking up, I'm happy with midnight on a weekend

sillygiraffe · 27/03/2015 21:12

My DD will be 16 in a few months. We have said 10pm school nights and 11pm weekends although she is pushing for later. If she was a bit more pleasant she might be allowed later occasionally on a weekend (depending on the cirumstances). But throwing a strop every time she does not get her own way means that this is not going to happen.

Jellyrollquiltmom · 27/03/2015 21:16

On a school night, before it's dark or we pick him up. At the weekend 11, but we live close to the centre of (smallish) town and there's a well-lit cycle path. As long as their mobile is working, I think kids are more traceable than we were at their age and parents don't need to worry so much. Sure you will, though, if it's his first time out!

Springcleanish · 27/03/2015 21:18

We say 9.30 on school nights, 10.30 at weekends, 11 for a special occasion maybe. Need to know where he is, who with and how getting home.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 27/03/2015 21:21

It depends where 'out' is. DD2 is 17 but doesn't just go 'out' hanging around. If she goes out to parties etc it's usually at the weekend and she's usually home by midnight or thereabouts. In the week she'd only usually go out if it was for a special event like the theatre or a meal, so she'd be home at whatever time it finished.

lem73 · 27/03/2015 21:24

For our ds (15) it's 6.30 both on weekends and weekdays. If there is a party or something it's 11. All his friends have similar curfews.

Everythingzrosie · 27/03/2015 21:28

My 16yr old has to be in at 10pm. He thinks he should have a key-erm don't think so!

justcallmethefixer · 27/03/2015 21:39

DS(15) yr10 is 11pm week days and midnight at weekends as we are a good half hour walk home from usual areas he is with friends but I need to know general location of where he plans to be and a text if location changes.

In reality he is always home around an hour earlier, as his friends have to be in earlier, my late curfew is to prevent the worried feeling of 'he's late!'

Piratespoo · 27/03/2015 21:48

Lem73 - your 15 yr old has to be in at 6.30pm?? Dear me, I bet his mates give him a ribbing! You get 10 year olds playing out in the street at that time!

wfrances · 27/03/2015 21:49

ds 16 hardly goes out, but the latest he comes home is 10 pm because he walks home with everyone else.
so its a bit ? if he comes home earlier he has to walk home by himself .

AuntieStella · 27/03/2015 21:53

He spends a lot of his life online (with his mates). So often it's a case of sleepovers, and heaven only knows if they actually include sleeping. So weekends and holidays only.

Otherwise 11ish? It really does depend on where he's going and how he's getting home.

iwantgin · 27/03/2015 21:54

my DS doesn't go out often - but when he does he doesn't have a curfew. As long as I know that he has a means of getting home I'm fine with that.

He is Y12.

At that age I was out at all-nighters so I don't see how I can impose a curfew on someone who could be working, living on their own and married with a baby.

roisin · 27/03/2015 22:03

ds2 (16) rarely comes home later than 10
ds1 (17) is out every Friday: comes home 11, 12, 1.. whenever. I don't wait up and I don't worry.

Neither have curfews. Both walk home around a mile from most activities.

I used to regularly stay out til 3 or 4 at that age.

lem73 · 28/03/2015 00:08

Pirate actually no he doesn't get a ribbing at all. He comes home when everyone else is going home. I expect he'll want to come home later when it's summer. They're not geeky kids either. They're considered the 'cool' kids in the year but I guess we got lucky that they're quite tame.

bigTillyMint · 28/03/2015 07:58

DD(15), who has had a key since Y6, hasn't been going anywhere much at all lately what with all the work/stress of Y11.

If she does go out, she is usually back by 10 or is sleeping over at a friends. If it's a party, then they are usually back to ours/friends for a sleepover around 12.

We don't really have a curfew - just agree about what time she will be likely to be back and if she needs a pick-up or not.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 28/03/2015 08:08

We don't have a curfew as such.
To be honest ds1 and his friends don't really hang about, they go to parties or the cinema or the Chinese buffet place. They tend to be home by 11, unless it's a party when they tend to sleep over at someone's house or he asks for a lift around midnight.
They aren't realky out during the week now- GCSE panic has set it.

He has a key though, why would a 16 year old not have a key?

SecretSquirrels · 28/03/2015 09:37

DS is Y12 and there isn't anywhere he could go that doesn't require a lift. He doesn't go out much though and never on a school night so we pick him up whatever time he wants. Usually if it's a party that will be around 12.

Everythingzrosie · 28/03/2015 10:17

It was traditional, in England for the older son or daughter, upon reaching 21, to receive a key to the front door of their parents home, if they were at that time still living there. It was the key to adulthood, but they were often also given the privilege to come and go as they pleased, at what time they liked.
As a child in the fifties I was often told in answer to a question, "I'll tell you when you're 21." Being twenty-one was considered being grown up.
Everyone up until the age of twenty was still, even if they had begun work, considered a child and subject to their parents authority

That's why

Seriously though, I am struggling with the whole key issue. I have a curfew of 10pm as I go to bed at that time and don't want to lay in bed worrying that my 16 year old is roaming the streets. So he knows to be in by then or else. I don't trust him to be sensible enough to close the door behind him let alone lock it! He has left the back door open-not just unlocked!! He is so care free that he doesn't think.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 28/03/2015 10:29

But does he not have a key at all?
To let himself in if you are out?

Fair enough if that's what you prefer, maybe he doesn't need a key?
I don't know, mine have had keys since year 6 otherwise how would they get in?

bigTillyMint · 28/03/2015 11:01

I remember all that key of the door at 21 stuff, but it was a euphemism - I had a key from being about 8!
I totally get the 10pm thing - we go to bed then as well, so they are in their rooms/bed then on a school night unless it's a special reason.

My DC have been double locking our front door if no one else is in since Y6. How is he going to manage in 2 years time if he goes to university?!

Reddragon116 · 28/03/2015 11:08

He's a grown up so gets in when he likes - has had a key since 11 and been taught to be responsible and understands consequences.

hellsbells99 · 28/03/2015 11:46

DD2 (year 12) came in approx 10pm last night after cinema - last Friday it was 11.30pm after a 'get together' at a friends house. DD1 (year 13) came in at 1am but tonight will be later as she is out celebrating a friends 18th. Last Friday she stayed in and Saturday went to the cinema (and was driving).
They don't have a curfew but I do expect to be told what their plans are and how they are getting home - I won't pick up after midnight. DD1 texts to tell me when she is getting in a taxi. I do prefer it if she has a friend staying overnight as at least they come home together. Last night she had planned to share her taxi home with an 18 year old boy who lives close by.
School nights, they generally are in a lot earlier. They may go to the cinema on Wednesdays so a bit later then, otherwise not much 'socialising' in the week but more extracurricular type activities (band etc.)....and lots of studying!

hellsbells99 · 28/03/2015 11:47

And of course they have a key .....but often forget it!

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