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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Daughters and highlighting/dyeing hair

39 replies

celestialsquirrelnuts · 25/02/2014 18:13

Dd is 15 and has long straight thick blonde hair. I have suddenly noticed that lots of her friends are getting highlights or dyeing theirs. I realised that if she asks for highlights at her next trip to the hairdressers I haven't formulated an opinion yet, so thought I would ask you lot Grin.

So at what age are highlights etc ok? And if now, who pays? I currently pay for her haircuts but tbh it is twice a year max so no problem.

Thanks v much

OP posts:
Whatfun · 25/02/2014 18:20

As a mother of three former teenagers I think you have to pick your battles. Hair colour is no biggie in the scheme of things. However, I would want to know how she's going to pay for it. Jobs round the house, whatever. Highlights aren't cheap and if she's old enough to have them, she's old enough to pay for them, or at the very least, contribute toward them.

AtiaoftheJulii · 25/02/2014 18:32

I don't pay for haircuts, but I'll buy hair dye if it finds its way into my shopping trolley. Up to you whether you want to pay for hairdresser highlights or not.

My 15 year old has had multiple hair colours, and started a while ago. I couldn't give a shit what colour her hair is, tbh! My 11 year old often has a little touch on her fringe of whatever big sister has :-)

Lex12 · 25/02/2014 19:38

It's just a bit of fun. I used to have my hair all colours when i was a teen and still mess about with colour in my forties (although not bright red and green nowadays) and am in a responsible profession lol :)

ilovepowerhoop · 25/02/2014 19:39

my sister does highlights on her dd's hair at home

ilovepowerhoop · 25/02/2014 19:39

her dd is 14

Original poster
celestialsquirrelnuts · 25/02/2014 19:41

Thanks everyone. I must say my instinct was to say that's fine and get a contribution towards cost so that is nicely backed up by what you say!

OP posts:
Innogen · 25/02/2014 19:43

15 is quite old to start in my experience. I'd let her.

mathanxiety · 25/02/2014 19:49

I would say anything beyond basic cut should be paid by her.

trader21c · 26/02/2014 03:52

Definitely wouldn't pay for them

nooka · 26/02/2014 03:57

I pay for dds hair dye as a treat every now and then, but otherwise she has to save up for it. She is currently sporting various pinks (faded reds that she had in November), and is going for purple next time.

She had her first colours as a 12th birthday present.

cory · 26/02/2014 06:27

I would remind her of any school rules and point out that it is her responsibility to comply with them. Otherwise, wouldn't have a problem.

bigTillyMint · 26/02/2014 06:34

DD and her mates do their hair at home - have been doing so since Y7.

And I agree with cory - said the same thing the other night when she was talking about highlighting with pink. Fingers crossed she heard what I said!

ancientandmodern · 26/02/2014 09:15

My DD and her friends are keen on what they call 'dip dyeing', so only putting colour on the last section of long hair, rather than all the way through. They tend to do that themselves at home - would just suggest gently reminding your DD to read what it says on the packet of dye and follow instructions, esp. re not doing this in a very confined space, after one girl had horrendous (to look at - not dangerous) allergic reaction and came out in spots and swellings round face as did the dyeing in a tiny, tiny loo to avoid her mum seeing!

Nocomet · 26/02/2014 09:27

I'm sure DD2(13) will ask eventually. As she was born fair and has gone much darker with time, highlights would suite her.

I agree we'd have to split the cost.

bigTillyMint · 26/02/2014 13:12

Yes, DD and her friends did dip-dyeing in Y7, mostly with the washout spray colours.

DD has had a lot of success with the John Frieda Sun-in alike if she wants to give it a try? And real lemon juice in the sun works really well!

musicposy · 26/02/2014 16:55

Yes, DD2 had her hair dip dyed blue last summer, at 13.
I had no issue with it.

febel · 26/02/2014 18:27

I let mine do what they want with thier hair..presently on my third 16 yr old! Hair is the least of my battles, and my view is it belongs to them and it's their looks. You could advise on the fact it mgiht make it drier and you have to get it re touched...oh..and that your daughter will have to pay for it/have it for her birthday etc! she may change her mind when she finds out what an expense it can be

OhSoVintage · 27/02/2014 13:29

I don't have an issue with it at all but theres are two things.

Must be done in holiday time or be a colour that is suitable for school.
As soon as she dyes bedsheets and carpets its banned until she can afford to have it done professionally.

Unfortunately last summer we had red carpet, red clothing, red towels. So its banned until she is older or goes to the hairdresser (even then you have to be careful with wet hair).

HSMMaCM · 27/02/2014 14:31

DD (14) uses a wash in wash out dye when she feels like going darker. She had a blonde dip dye in the summer, which didn't turn out too well.

DrewsWife · 27/02/2014 14:34

Pick your battle wisely. Mine picked up a bottle of bleach and fried her hair and her scalp.

Cocolepew · 27/02/2014 14:55

I dip dyed DDs hair for her, bleached the ends of her dark hair. She wears it in a ponytail at school. Her school allow 'natural' colours. She paid for the first lot of dye herself, it was a bit orangey so I used leftover bleach from when I was doing my own hair the second time.

teenagetantrums · 27/02/2014 20:06

Yes pick your battles, I would have to think as to what my colour my DD's hair was if you asked me, I have told her she can do what she wants to her hair, I don't mind piercings, but draw the line at permanent things such as tattoos. My Dd is 17 now and had been dying her hair since she was 13.

Theas18 · 27/02/2014 21:01

As long as it complies with school rules then it's a non battle.... The 14yr old has had a couple of sets of highlights but only if I can get them cheap eg on a groupon/KGB deal ( we've had a few good ones) or, like the last lot done at my sis's hairdresser when we were on hols -20E iirc!

MichAm · 27/02/2014 22:42

A warning from a mother of a 14 year old.
We live in Weybridge and my (just) 14 year old daughter walked into a local salon, asked for the side of her head to be shaved.... And they obliged!! Without parental permission!!!!. My daughter looks 14 and went in after school. Shame on the salon concerned. Am I allowed to name and shame? Apart from calling tomorrow and having a frank conversation with the manager, are there any professional bodies I can contact about this? All suggestions gratefully received.

MedusaIsHavingaBadHairday · 27/02/2014 22:47

There isn't an age limit for getting your hair cut independently I'm afraid.. so they wouldn't need 'parental permission'. Mine certainly took themselves and chose how they had their hair by 14.

I can understand how you must feel upset, but the salon hasn't done anything that has any legal or moral ramifications I'm afraid. If it was a piercing or tattoo it would be different, but hair will just grown again!

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