13 year old and ear stretchers....help!

[Fragglewump]

Dss is 13 and getting ear stretchers. This is being allowed by his mum. Dh and I are sad and concerned that this will damage not only his ears but future prospects. Are we old farts who need to get a grip? Or is there anything we can and should do? Help!

Where is he getting this done? Any reputable piercer wouldn't touch an under 14 (agreed code of conduct).

Can you take him for a consultation at a reputable piercer who will talk through pros and cons with him?

Is it something that's covered by his schools uniform policy? If he has to keep taking it in and out,he's risking infection (again a reputable piercer would be able to discuss this wit him)

My school wouldn't allow it.

He's already had it pierced while he was with his mum. Now he's adding stretchers.

What is his school's policy on piercings.

Ah ok, lobe piercing can be done anywhere at any age. Generally the advice from a piercer/tattooist would be not to start stretchers under 14. I think your only course of action would be to take him to a piercer to talk through pros and cons of starting them at his age, proper care and if it's reversible if/when he changes his mind.

I believe they hurt and all but the most determined remove them pretty quickly. Good luck.

Ooh I would hate this. I can't look at those ear stretchers-they look horrible.
Can you talk him out of it? 13 is very young.

This is really difficult if his mum has said yes, but in my mind, ear stretching falls under the "if you still want it in two years then we'll discuss it again".

My 13 yo has no concept of long term consequences. I'd be getting his dad to have a long chat with his mum.

ear stretchers at 13 are just not on, if the dad has PR can he not put his foot down?

They can be gradually reduced down again; and in my experience (have a 10mm one) I have to practically tell people what mine is as it just looks like an earring. At thirteen he's not going to affect his long term prospects and you might be best off picking your battles and leaving it. He's not going to choose piercings over a good job (unless you make a fuss and encourage a rebellious attitude by doing so!). I really would just leave it, if he wants it but isn't allowed it he'll probably get it later anyway.

www.google.co.uk/search?q=african+ear+stretching&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=cDtZUqbFA-qZ0QWvmYCADQ&ved=0CC0QsAQ&biw=1241&bih=584&dpr=1#facrc=&imgdii=&imgrc=QIbWWHuCRQupVM%3A%3BvIXNtXUvZpljhM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fs3.amazonaws.com%252Freaders%252Fsportales%252F2008%252F03%252F17%252F126996_0.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.thestudentroom.co.uk%252Fshowthread.php%253Ft%253D1113749%2526page%253D2%3B485%3B296 A slippery slope

Chanel that's so funny!

If he only goes up to 10mm, he should be okay- they'll shrink down again. Mine have been up to 18mm and have shrank back down to 8mm (which sounds a lot but it actually quite un-noticeable without jewellery). Anything under 5mm looks tiny without jewellery, and won't generally be noticed.

God poor you, they are totally hideous IMO. Doesn't the dad get a say in this at all? My kid is 12 and there is no way in hell I would allow this next year or until at least 47.

The trouble is I don't think his dad does have a say. He's mostly with his mum and so if dh days anything he's a party pooper. Sad.

Having been through this with DD 0, now 17, she started stretching hers several years ago... but it is a long slow process and a LOTharder (and sorer) than theynthink it's going to be! I went down the 'ok if you must' route as to make it forbidden also made it more appealing!

Just encourage him to do in is slow steps, keep them clean (bathe in salt water if they get alll swollen/infected) and warn him it will take time... a lot of the reality takes the glamour out of it!

But as someone else has said above.. as long as it's done slowly and cleanly, up to 10mm will shrink back in due course.

DS1 stretched his to 10mm. I hated it but know the more I moaned the further he would go.
At 16 he got a job at Dominos and had to take tem hout for work. Then he forgot to put it back a few times and it shrank!

Then he gave up and to my delight the holes have COMPLETELY vanished.. no sign of them at all. He;s 20 now and you'd never know:)

I honestly think the less notice you take, the sooner the phase will pass!!

On the other hand DD1 has a stretcher in one ear..about 6mm and looks like a pencil. She is a medical student ...nearly a qualified doctor and lots of the patients are fascinated by her ear pencil It didn't stop her getting into a top uni to read medicine....:)

Oh no...I think we are old farts....cripes. Thanks for all your replies. Will try to play it cool and ignore in the hope that the novelty wears off!

My daughter started stretching hers last year but she is 19 yo and I still wasn't all that happy about it, I would never have allowed that at 13, apart from the fact that she would not be fully matured its also school policies and generally what it looks like, luckily she hasn't gone to the extreme and it actually looks quite nice on her (she hasn't gone over 10mm which means they shrink back to normal if she wished to take them out)

I would definately get dad to talk to mum about it

pick your battles. It isnt permanent, and theyre his ears

They do shrink back quickly. I had 10mm last year. I havent worn any for a while. Can barely get 4mm in now.

I doubt theyll go back to nothing, but they dont look much when i dont have any jewellery in, and theyd probably shrink even more in the young

Another adding to the sensible voices. Done slowly, carefully and not over 10mm they will shrink down.

I am 34 and have 6mm tunnels in right now. When I take them out to shower, I have to put them back in straight after or I lose 2mm in just over an hour.

Stretching too fast and too large will result in blowouts which will not shrink back down and may require surgery to repair.

I hate them but I didn't know they could shrink down again, so 've learnt something new from Mumsnet