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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

How much do your teenagers help around the house?

41 replies

Mindfullness · 13/09/2013 16:00

I have 2 teens 15 and 14 and they do nothing and apparently none of their friends help at home either!! What do your teens do and do you give them pocket money?
Tia :)

OP posts:
ssd · 13/09/2013 16:03

bugger all

and no, but seem to be shelling out money every weekend

Cerisier · 13/09/2013 16:15

Not a lot, but like ssd I seem to shell out loads. The deal is that they work very hard at school, and to be fair they do. Other than that they make their beds, empty the dishwasher and make me lots of cups of tea.

Sidge · 13/09/2013 16:25

Not enough really and it's all of my own making!

My nearly 15 year old has quite a long school day including travel (0710-1600/1630) so I don't expect masses from her.

But she does lay and clear the table, keep her room tidy (ish) and help me make 3 packed lunches. She also is expected to help me if asked, such as reading a bedtime story to her sisters and fetching things for me.

She doesn't get regular pocket money but I give her cash as and when she needs some.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 13/09/2013 16:28

Dd 15 and ds1 14 do the following.

Cook one night a week each.
Tidy the kitchen one night a week each
Clean the bathroom one day a week each
Hoover upstairs alternate days
Afternoon walk for the dog.

I don't bother with their bedrooms, ds1 likes to live in a pit so I just shut the doors.
They have to put their clean laundry away. If they do not bring down their laundry they have to wash it themselves.
Ditto ironing, if it's not clean and in my basket, do it yourself.

Apparently, no one else in the world has to help in the house. Do I care? Not at all.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 13/09/2013 16:29

Oh and pocket money. Yes. £50 a month into their bank. This has to last the whole month, so if you spend it all in 5 minutes, that's a shame. There is no more Grin

FrigideBarjot · 13/09/2013 16:38

My DDs - 16 and 18 yo set and clear the dinner table, tidy their own rooms, put away their own laundry, change bed linen.
If asked they will Hoover, put washing out and empty the dishwasher/bins, but they aren't automatically their chores and they rarely do them voluntarily.
Sometimes I pay them for jobs like cleaning the car or doing a load of ironing.
They don't get a fixed amount of pocket money. DD1 has a holiday job and I give DD2 money as and when she needs it.

LaurieFairyCake · 13/09/2013 16:41

Dd will do anything I ask

I very rarely ask as she has 10 hours homework and 3 hours music practise plus lots of extra activities

It's more about the attitude for me - I know she'd drop her homework to help me.

If she was a loafer arounder doing fuck all she'd have a list of chores as long as her arm

Spidermama · 13/09/2013 17:02

My 13 and 15 year old will have bursts of being very helpful for a couple of days then nothing for months.

My eleven year old is the best.

bigTillyMint · 13/09/2013 19:07

Nothing really. We are lucky to afford a cleaner once a week, so they have to make their rooms fit for her to come in.

DD does a lot of sport and now has shedloads of homework with GCSE's looming, so she doesn't really have any spare time. DS will do jobs when I ask.

BackforGood · 13/09/2013 19:11

Mine are 17, 14, and 12.
They are responsible for own rooms- currently the middle one's is a pit and the other two keeping theirs tidy
They each cook one (or sometimes more) evening meal's per week
They obviously put away own clothes back from the wash
Have to strip and make their beds when it's sheet changing time
Whoever isn't cooking has to lay table, get drinks for everyone
They have to clear away their stuff after a meal
Between them they are responsible for unloading the dishwasher

They are expected to do 'one off' things when asked - empty the tumble drier, go empty the bins around the house on rubbish day etc.

Pocket money not directly linked. They get £1per month per year of age, so £17, £14, and £12

thefirstmrsrochester · 13/09/2013 19:23

My teenage dc do.......fuck all. Apart from make a mess, argue, ask for lifts and ask for money. I'm trying to change it but its an uphill battle.

valiumredhead · 13/09/2013 19:31

Ds is 12 and does what he's asked but regularly empties and loads dishwasher, lays table, makes simple meals and tea/coffee, tidies his room and changes bed clothes.

He has pocket money but he has to help out whatever as that's what families do.

ThePuffyShirt · 13/09/2013 19:33

Ds 15 strips & changes his bed every weekend, vacuums his room, puts on washing and tumble dryer and lately, irons his and his brother's school shirts. He will empty the dishwasher, but is rarely up early enough.

He does a fair bit of cooking & always makes bread & pizza dough.

I think he does his fair share.

Spidermama · 13/09/2013 19:38

ThePuffyShirt he sounds amazing! What's your secret?

ThePuffyShirt · 13/09/2013 19:44

I think he's a lazy oaf most of the time, but will concede he doesn't look too bad when I write it down.

My secret is too many friends and 2 sisters with lazy arse husbands plus I have a husband that does everything so is a good example plus I am lazy.

alemci · 13/09/2013 19:44

very little. ds the odd thing and looks after gp.

gave up with yd who is abroad now so very little mess and ed off to uni so less mess now. lovelySmile Smile

amandaf64 · 13/09/2013 21:05

DD1 is 18 and works, she keeps her room tidy and does all her own washing etc but she is expected to empty/fill the dishwasher and help clean around the house as well. DD2 15 is bad at keeping her room clean but does try and is also expected to fill/empty the dishwasher, feed the cats and clean around.

As for pocket money DD1 doesn't get any as she earns quite a lot however I will treat her to the occasional thing because everyone needs to be spoiled once in a while! And DD2 gets £10 a week, but sometimes we give her a bit extra if she's going to the cinema or needs something 'urgently'. DD2 babysits occasionally (she's getting all her sisters old babysitting jobs) which is a nice income for her but she's desperate for a proper job.

louby44 · 14/09/2013 08:24

I have 2 DS 10 & 13 (nearly 14).

DS10 has to do 5 jobs to get £3.50 or 8 jobs for £5. Things like setting the table, emptying the dishwasher, helping with tea, tidying his room. So nothing major. He writes each job on his sheet. I wonder whether this is a bit mean though, maybe £5 for 5 jobs???

My DS13 has just got a little Saturday job with his grandma who runs an inside market stall selling books, she gives him £15 for the day. He loves it! He's supposed to put his dirty washing in the basket and keep his room tidy but it doesn't always happen.

My 2 DSD get an allowance £40 a month and then £50 every 2 months for clothes and they do nothing for their mum! Silly woman.

BeenFluffy · 14/09/2013 08:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeenFluffy · 14/09/2013 08:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cory · 14/09/2013 10:58

Mine get pocket money regardless of chores, but I do expect a certain amount of work from them. Ds (13) typically washes up or cooks supper two or three times a week, dd (16) was doing the same in the holidays but has been very busy lately with college and extra-curricular and has health problems. They'll both make me drinks or lend a hand on an ad hoc basis. It's a bit difficult because of dd's ongoing health problems: I can't ask the same every day.

Original poster
Mindfullness · 14/09/2013 11:24

Thanks ever so much for all of your replies. Very interesting how much a lot of your teenagers do do! How do you re-inforce/remind by some sort of rota? I think I would need to get something like that up at first and then hopefully it should become second nature. I like the idea of a monthly pocket money and giving them more control to buy the things they need and also teaching them that you have to earn money to get the things you want. At the moment I do everything and it's hard juggling it with a part time job. I do need more help as I also have a bad back and I just can't do it anymore!!

OP posts:
LineRunner · 14/09/2013 11:28

I've been ill lately so they have been doing a lot more (17 and 15). Just goes to show they can when they have to!

SuperiorCat · 14/09/2013 11:37

DS is 15, he sorts out the recycling, mows the lawns, helps DH with DIY, keeps his room clean and tidy and changes his own bed.

Both DCs (DD is 9yo) clear up after themselves, so if they put something down, they have to put it away, clear plates and cups etc to dishwasher, put their own clothes in the washing basket - DD has to be nagged more than DS tbh.

They are also expected to muck in and help, so if they are asked to do something they generally do it obligingly.

I have a fair few friends who do EVERYTHING for their family, and come from an Irish family where they men are treated like Gods and sit on their arse while the women run round doing everything, I was a SAHM for 8 years but didn't want to be everyone's skivvy so they have grown up doing stuff for themselves.

NoComet · 14/09/2013 11:40

DD1(15) helps if asked and makes week end lunch quite often. Changes her bunk as I refuse to.

DD2(12) grumps if asked to do anything, thinks all house work is my job as I'm a SAHM.

Except she does keep her room tidy and will vacuum if she's invited friends.

No one here is very house proud, or ridiculously messy, so we mostly rub along happily until visitors are mentioned. Then there is a panic about washing, plates, dust, hovering and removing junk to it's rightful place.

(I confess I'm quite happy that DD2 invites people now and again, it makes us all buck our ideas up at least once per holiday.)

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