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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

When is the best time to approach daughter on puberty

38 replies

lainemumof3 · 08/09/2010 10:08

first born & jt started secondary school & a parent informed me her daughters 'visitor' called last wk. i was horrified wit the realisation that i havent spoke in great detail 2 her (as we mums think they r still babies) do i bring the subject up? wud primary school touched on basics? how much wud she know??

OP posts:
BollockBrain · 08/09/2010 10:11

what do you mean 'visitor' ?? Periods?

If so, then you need to talk to her asap.

RumourOfAHurricane · 08/09/2010 10:11

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kreecherlivesupstairs · 08/09/2010 10:12

I assume (deciphering the text talk) you are trying to get information about how much your DD knows about puberty. Have you asked her how much she knows. TBH, I should think at the age of 11 she knows pretty much all there is to know. Whether what she knows is correct is another matter. My DD is 9.4 and has an understanding of what will happen to her body, why, when and what she should do. If I were you, I'd sit down and have a chat. It doesn't have to be formal. I would also make sure she is prepared for her 'visitor' with some sanitary protection and clean pants.

crumpet · 08/09/2010 10:13

If she's 11 then she needs to know asap. Unfortunately they are not still babies and periods can start aas early as 9 years only. Don't put ther at a disadvantage by keeping her in ignorance - although she may already have some information through the school playground (which may not necessarily be accurate).

Did she not have sex ed classes in primary? The school should have told you what was on their sex ed curriculcum.

Has she not seen any of your tampons/sanitary towels etc?

BollockBrain · 08/09/2010 10:15

oh and what is jt?

RumourOfAHurricane · 08/09/2010 10:17

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rubyrubyruby · 08/09/2010 10:18

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BollockBrain · 08/09/2010 10:19

i thought is was something twin!!!

Oi OP where are you!

kreecherlivesupstairs · 08/09/2010 10:19

I think the JT is an abbreviation of just.

rubyrubyruby · 08/09/2010 10:21

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PosieParker · 08/09/2010 10:22

I had my first period at ten and wore a bra before hand....I think nine is a good age.

seeker · 08/09/2010 10:22

Seriously? You haven't talked to her about it yet?

What happens if the poor brat's periods start today?

Go out now, and buy her everything she might need. Make up a "kit" in a little zipper bag (pads, spare pants, wipes) for her to keep in her school bag. Then tell her all about it tonight"

I suspect, though, that the OP is a time traveller from the '50s.

lizzy10 · 08/09/2010 10:23

id have a quiet word with her but not too scary, i asked my daughters which make of pads they wanted to use when we were in superdrug and advised them as best i could. they immediatly chose the lovely pink tins with pads in and quite happily took them into school 'just in case'
you will know how much imformation she needs by how she reacts to you, she will either roll her eyes and state 'i know! in that voice or she will listen...

kreecherlivesupstairs · 08/09/2010 11:24

Complete deviation from the OP, but, I've seen several times wipes mentioned to go into the little 'visitor' packs. Why? I don't use a wet wipe when I am bleeding and I don't know anyone else who does.

seeker · 08/09/2010 11:29

So that if she gets in a mess she can clean herself up in the cubicle. Once they are used to the whole business they don't need them, but right at the beginning, they are useful.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 08/09/2010 12:07

Thanks, something else I'll have to store away in my 'dd is nearly ready to buy some protection' mind cabinet.

trefusis · 08/09/2010 12:12

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dexter73 · 08/09/2010 12:13

My daughter was 11 when she started her periods so I think you should talk about it as soon as possible. You should get some pads for her and as others have said, put some in her school bag.
Also I wouldn't refer to it as her 'visitor' - sounds very twee/old fashioned to me!

trefusis · 08/09/2010 12:16

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BollockBrain · 08/09/2010 12:20

So, what happened to the OP then? She never came back to the thread. Odd {hmm]

BollockBrain · 08/09/2010 12:21

Quick name search and it is a 'first post'.

trefusis · 08/09/2010 12:26

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3plusbump · 08/09/2010 12:28

I started my periods during my second week at secondary school. My mum had not mentioned anything to me so I had nothing with me. Consequently I got in a complete mess and wondered what was wrong with me. I spent the afternoon with my jumper tied round my waist to cover the mark on the back of my trousers - I can still remember how horrible I felt on that day :(

Please don't let your daughter go through that. As everyone else has said, talk to her straight away and get her some supplies to keep in the bottom of her school bag.

As an aside, try if you can to use the correct terms for periods, sanitary protection etc. My mother insisted on using veiled terms like 'visitor' for period, 'wotsits' for pads and 'down there' instead of vagina - to be honest, I wasn't much wiser about what was happening to me even when she had explained it!!!

3plusbump · 08/09/2010 12:29

Oh and my older boys are 11 and 9 and they know the basics about periods!

TrillianAstra · 08/09/2010 12:30

Learn the correct words and do not be ashamed to say them. The other girl started her 'period'. She did not have a visitor. If you present it in silly language you are saying that it is something to be ashamed of, something to hide, something that must not be discussed.