Urgent and desparate call for help on top - needs to hide flabby arms, tummy and big hips (yes, I know!) Oh, not to look mumsy. Please.

[SalLikesCoffee]

I'm meeting up with old work contacts on Monday night. Problem is, I worked until 3 days before the birth, so can't blame the fact that I've become flabbier since leaving on the baby!

We'll prob go to either fancyish bar or relatively relaxed restaurant (so not exactly sure about what to wear anyway, but def not club type clothes - not that I'd know what that would be either, but thought I should mention). It will be early, so I'm looking for something relatively casual, but not t-shirt.

I'm thinking of wearing these jeans, silver-black-bronze Erotokritos high heeled sandals (silver heel, all 3 colors across toes - can't find pic online), and the elusive top. I'm a size 12/14 (hips DEF 14), so would like something that would cover my flabby upper arms, but also loose across my (again flabby) tummy. My worry is that the things I'm looking at will make me look frumpy and mumsy (and they're all modern and stylish...), so ANY advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much. And sorry for the ramble - I'm starting to panic, as I only have tomorrow and Saturday and hate clothes shopping.

too boring?

too frilly?

Or this type of dress? Does that work with jeans (and hips, so bootleg jeans, not skinny)?

I'm hopeless with this kind of thing.

Hold on a cotton picking minute Sal you are a SIZE 12/14 with 14 hips and you are asking to hide flabby arms????

where are they flabby?

oh to be a size 12/14..........................

chocolate floaty l/sleeved tunic top. Not sure chocolate goes with silver heels though.

similar cut but shorter sleeves and very colourful.

Good luck with your search. I'm off to bed!

liked the one you said "too frilly" btw

It's my upper arms, they're really horrible. Fat and flabby - I'm not exagerating! Saw pictures with sleeveless tops last weekend (and promptly deleted them all - denial and all that).

Ok, might go to Debenhams and try the frilly one on on Saturday morning. I quite like TDONB's shorter tunic, although scared stiff a little afraid of the color. But DH made me promise to stop buying black (my default), so might try it out and see...

Thanks for the posts so far, am off to bed myself now too. Tomorrow morning my sitting here at 01:12 won't feel like such a brilliant idea...

If you want to distract attention from your alleged fat bits I would say a plain-ish top like the 'too boring' would work nicely. I like the draping (very flattering) and 3/4 sleeves are always stylish IMO.

With some simple, chunky silver jewelery, nice make up and a really good bra you'll look fantastic.

It has to be something you feel relaxed in though.

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Thanks for bump DisplacementActivity.

I'll definitely feel most relaxed with the dark grey "too boring" top. I would worry (bit can try it on to see) that, because it's not longer, my bum and hips would look too big, but on the other hand (and here's me hoping), maybe the draping would draw the attention away from hip area?

Now... if I do that - chunky silver jewellery. Chunky bracelet only? I'm not sure what kind of necklace would work with that. Only chuncy silver I've got is something similar to this, which ends just under my collar bone. I can buy something else though, as this is something I'd probably wear a lot.

I like that first Debenhams top (with chunky necklace)

Also like this

this

pretty

Not sure about that first one's arms on mine.

However, I love the second one. I think I might have to buy a couple of the suggestions on here anyway. (Not that I've got some kind of magic self-replenishing clothes-fund mind you, but I've only got work clothes, and somehow think it might be frowned upon if I arrive and mother-and-baby group with a suit...)

The 3rd one is really pretty, I had a look at that last night too. What I haven't mentioned (sorry!) is that my favourite area of myself is my middle, so I wondered whether that one would hide the one bit that I actually like. (Imagine an hourglass figure in ice, it melted a bit, then got inflated. Imagination needed with my explanation there, but you get the idea. )

No - I can imagine it ! I can just look in the mirror

My figure still goes out, then in, then out again but just goes out a bit further than it should and not quite in enough

hahaha. yep tillyscoutmum, that's me exactly!

Sorry to bang on about the same thing, but if I'm going with grey drape top then, I'm worried that a necklace would make it look like a bit of a waterfall. What length should it be?

Would a chunky bracelet work instead, or not enough? (I never wear more than one piece of jewellery, wedding ring excluded, but that's obviously not necessarily right.)

Please feel free to suggest anything else too, as I need a whole new wardrope anyway. Have been living in jeans and drawstring linen trousers for the last 4 months!)

I would go quite short (not choker but not too dangly iyswim) single strand chunky beads

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My bracelet looks almost like this, but clear instead of the blue glass/stones.

Then I've also got one that I can't find a picture for (holiday purchase), but it's an antique silver bracelet, about 5 strings of silver chain going around my arm, brought together with a big silver "clasp" system (the two sides almost slot into eachother).

I love that one you linked to earlier, DisplacementActivity. Strong but simple. I like big beads etc too, don't really like small, frilly jewellery on myself.

If you were wearing this for example, would you wear the matching bracelet then?

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That is really nice, DA.

Thank you very much for the help!

Sal, you're such a fibber.
You're not flabby at all!

Hahaha, VS. Oh yes I am. I just don't show you the pics with my flabby arms!

One other question, please (not really worth starting a new thread for, so hope you don't mind):

Since I'm going clothes shopping tomorrow morning anyway, what would the one set of casual clothes be you'd buy? I have decent jeans, brown linen drawstring trousers and a couple of tops, but that's about all I can think of now. What's a good staple for casual?

Really like the (not) 'boring' grey drapey top... but I think the necklace issue depends on what size chest you are. I'm a 14 (16 on a bad day, but still not back up to an 18 like I've been for most of the last decade. Sorry TMI on meee!) and I'd love that top. BUT with my 36E size front shelf, I wouldn't wear a necklace with it as would feel way too far forward with a necklace and all the drapes - if you see what I mean. Would rather have my cleavage on show and have the clean space above drapes. And would then absolutely go for lovely chunky bracelet like that one with blue glass etc. And for me I'd do big chunky ring on other arm/hand.

Casual clothes in more wintery times - I love a denim skirt with thick tights and boots. I always tell myself I'll wear it with fake tan and flip flops in the summer too... but never do!

Oh damn yes, forgot about the practicalities... Am still bf-ing, so 34DD might be a bit, uhm, progressive then. I'll take necklace with me tomorrow to see, but might need to change plans slightly then. Hmm.

Oh dear, I have to laugh at myself - clueless!!! Really embarrassing to have to ask, but if I wear my watch on my left arm, the chunky bracelet on my right, where would the chunky ring fit in??? It'll look strange on wedding ring hand, won't it? Or do you suggest skipping watch, bracelet left, ring right? Emergency breast reduction becoming more and more of a last-minute solution

Can see why nudism seems like a good idea to some...