Urgent and desparate call for help on top - needs to hide flabby arms, tummy and big hips (yes, I know!) Oh, not to look mumsy. Please.

[SalLikesCoffee]

I'm meeting up with old work contacts on Monday night. Problem is, I worked until 3 days before the birth, so can't blame the fact that I've become flabbier since leaving on the baby!

We'll prob go to either fancyish bar or relatively relaxed restaurant (so not exactly sure about what to wear anyway, but def not club type clothes - not that I'd know what that would be either, but thought I should mention). It will be early, so I'm looking for something relatively casual, but not t-shirt.

I'm thinking of wearing these jeans, silver-black-bronze Erotokritos high heeled sandals (silver heel, all 3 colors across toes - can't find pic online), and the elusive top. I'm a size 12/14 (hips DEF 14), so would like something that would cover my flabby upper arms, but also loose across my (again flabby) tummy. My worry is that the things I'm looking at will make me look frumpy and mumsy (and they're all modern and stylish...), so ANY advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much. And sorry for the ramble - I'm starting to panic, as I only have tomorrow and Saturday and hate clothes shopping.

monsoon

What about this??

Would moderate the big boobs, but detract from the tummy.

anything here?

On that site I quite like www.allsaintsshop.co.uk/product/?searchtext=&area=W&category_id=115&page=1&all=1&position=25&prod_de sc_id=5051214292465 which is really a similar shape to that other first top you suggested SalLC... which is a good shape. And having said I wouldn't wear necklace with drapy top, I probably would with that top in order to make it feel thicker against flabby body. if that makes any sense.

Ring wise... I either wear it on ring finger with just wedding band, which just disappears in comparison, or like you say, ditch watch and wear it on right hand. Or wear it middle finger. Top Shop do some nice funky accessories

mmm, just seen how to make that link look a lot neater. hey ho.

And also meant to say, love Monsoon. Given the budget, can usually always find something in there that makes me feel good. Lovely colours too, agree that black is too safe / boring very often

oh that is lovely, blackrock! really, really like it. I am slightly unsure about the sleeves with my apper arms, but love the rest, so think it's worth a try on.

Allsaints nice, but nothing that I'd feel too comfortable in - I keep thinking "nice, just wish it had sleeves", or "good, but..." E.g. quite like this, but have 80's flashbacks. Do you think it's a one-season thing (shoulder pads)?

Not for Monday, but for the casual wardrope, I love this shrug. Would you wear it with a black t-shirt? ( )

Plan for tomorrow Debenhams & Monsoon so far, will order rest online as far as possible.

MrsQ, didn't like that one in the brown, so didn't even click on the link, but it looks great in the black background. Hmm. And I'd be able to wear it loads.

Meant to ask - what length for denim skirt would you go for?

I think, SLC that monsoon top would make your boob-al shelf look absolutely VAST. You should definitely show some skin around your chest, even if not all your busty substances.

lol, showed dh my favourites, and he was really impressed that they weren't all black! (decided not to show him the black monsoon one that i like ).

Oh ho. Well, that solves the black problem there then... It is really pretty though, if anyone on here is flatter chested, please buy it!

Casual - would this accentuate big hips and bum?

Hey Sal,

You are SO not flabby. But given your concerns, I think the "too frilly" one would work best. DA's suggestion of bracelet is nice to go with.

LOL at waterfall top and necklace.

The black top from Monsoon might work too- you are not as big as you make yourself sound!

For casual clothes, I second the denim skirt with tights and boots. I would say just above the knee for the length.

Main thing is to be comfortable with whatever you decide to wear.

Goodluck shopping tomorrow!

peasant top

teal top

Hmm, not sure about those. They are pretty, but seeing that I already feel mumsy I'm not sure about the peasant one. Great color on second one, but unsure about neck.

Thanks SushiMama (and VS earlier) - I should probably try and get over it, but I've always been the "fatter" one of my really skinny friends (obviously didn't bother me enough to diet, but did mean that I'd never wear a mini etc), and my family are over weight, so all I can see are these hips, bum etc.

Well, I think I'm off to bed as I couldn't drag myself away from here last night (thanks so much for the really late night posters!)

You've been absolutely brilliant, thank you very much for the time you've spent helping me choose. I'll check in again tomorrow morning just in case, but will report back tomorrow night.

Come on Sal... how did the shopping go?!?

lol MrsQ, I was so embarrassed after a disastrous shopping trip that I hoped lying low would mean I don't have to 'fess up!

Well, spent all day Saturday at Bluewater, and didn't really get anything. Bought a denim pencil skirt at Monsoon and 2 plainish tops just so that I could at least show something, but really no good. I think I panicked. Or I know I did.
It means I'll be boring tomorrow, but I stopped caring after about 5 hours...

However, I really liked all the suggestions here, so have decided to do the rest of my new wardrope shopping online!

Oh, and Heated, if you're reading - I felt really stupid for thinking the peasant top looked "mumsy" when I went through the whole of Zara and every second top was something peasanty. I really should go to the shops more often before making comments. again.

Oh that's frustrating isn't it. Probably cos you were going out for something specially... and in somewhere the size of Bluewater too. If you'd been going for something else you'd have seen the perfect outfit. Mind you, if you're anything like me, shopping for random idle pleasure for yourself doesn't happen anymore Or like you say, it happens online at random times of night! Have a good time at your work thing anyway.

Thank you very much.

I don't know why I didn't just go into central London, as I knew Debenhams had that top I planned to wear etc. But then I got lazy and convinced myself that surely, in the whole of Bluewater, I'd find it too. Oh, and we could drive there, which is easier with a 4-month old. Or so I thought.

The loss of shopping pleasure is too true. I walked around trying to remember the days when I would go shopping for fun - somehow slipped away. Which can also be a good thing since I don't really have money to waste for fun anymore!

Oh, and I think the crucial bit is that it shouldn't be for myself - got 4 really nice shirts for my dh and something for ds easily enough!

Thank you very much.

I don't know why I didn't just go into central London, as I knew Debenhams had that top I planned to wear etc. But then I got lazy and convinced myself that surely, in the whole of Bluewater, I'd find it too. Oh, and we could drive there, which is easier with a 4-month old. Or so I thought.

The loss of shopping pleasure is too true. I walked around trying to remember the days when I would go shopping for fun - somehow slipped away. Which can also be a good thing since I don't really have money to waste for fun anymore!

Oh, and I think the crucial bit is that it shouldn't be for myself - got 4 really nice shirts for my dh and something for ds easily enough!

Yes, no, I meant v. frustrating that somewhere as big as Bluewater couldn't make it happen. I love it there, the parking is brilliant, don't need to bother with coats and it's all in one place. Would always take that over London that's too crowded and spread out and risk of losing two bored DSs way too high! (The 'carrot' of the lego shop can normally get me another half an hour if I plan the route past it well enough!) Having said I love it I'm also horrified to admit to myself that I bet I end up going there less often now that Lakeland have opened in Bromley. Oh how shopping has changed!

lol (while hanging my head in shame and nodding in agreement!)

Well, last night went well, and I felt fine in the end. I got myself a snake bracelet (like the one DA suggested), which brightened up my outfit, and dh said I looked brilliant without trying too hard. (I didn't say it's because I've been begging and moaning in your ears all week, instead pretended it's all me, me, me.