Serious posh frockadvice needed for the totally cluless frump.

[NigellaTheOriginal]

Major posh wedding to go to in september.
Lasttime I wore a frock was 3 years ago. I wear jeans. and crocs (yes i know don't tell me.)
I am also fat and lardy.
Posh mate is taking me in hand next week and taking me shopping. this freaks me out as i don't do shopping, or fashion, or style.
i really have no idea. i need your help oh wise stylish ones.
as said. i am large - size 18 - 20. I have bingo wings, fat thighs, lard arse and a big tummy.
Also as can be seen from the above description i have no self esteem and don't like the way i look at all.
Help.

But your namesake always looks fab and is hardly Kate Moss

What's your budget like?

no idea of budget. not hundreds but not primark.

monsoon?

don't much like monsoons summer stuff. it all seems to be yellow.

can i also add that i don't do patterns or colour.

errrr

yes i know. am stumped. and can't go to the wedding in black T shirt and crocs.

Monsoon go up to a 22 - As do Marks.
Sale on in Hobbs - up to 18
Evans have some nice stuff in at the moment too.

If time isnt an issue, find something you like on the high street then see if they have it on ebay

what about this with a shrug, or shawl, coloured jewellery?

with a shrug and some lively accessories?

Nigella really sticks to a set look - block colour, great cut with perfect hair and make-up. She has a few of these style dresses, I think they're all Vivienne Westwood which may be beyond budget!! Do you know of any good dressmakers in your area? Also, get some fab, boned underwear. Don't automatically follow the route of loose and flowing.

notice clever covering of upper arms! You could try and get something like this made in a colour that really suits you.

Try Style Shake you can make your own dress (black if you wish) pick fabric, sleeves, length etc and it will be tailor made for you.

Mate who's wedding it is doesn't want black (understandably) nice though.
and would tights cover chunky calves?

wide leg trousers and tunic type top with fab shoes/accessories?

I discovered Ghost last week - they do some fabulous clothes, not patterned but very gorgeous and I am sure will go up to your size. Even very nice trouser/top mixes.

the one i posted is chocolate, which is a v flattering colour

I did Style Shake and was bitterly disappointed with it

How about you treat yourself to a spray tan, then no need for tights. Bet your calves are not as chunky as you think.

i bought some funky fishnets recently. a lot more flattering than you'd think.

they are - and VVs too
am intrigued by the trousers/tumnic idea. although would i look a bit vicar of dibly?

I know you said no colour/pattern but something like this would look really nice if dressed up properly..would you wear a hat?

Yes will need a hat or fascinator. what would one wear undeneath something like that minx?

You wouldnt need to wear anything underneath, although a body shaping vest might help "pull everything in"

There are loads of things like this on the highstreet at the moment, just need to find a colour that you like, team it with wide leg trousers (prob white or black) then hat/oversize clutch bag/brightly coloured shoes to match top.

Done.

xxx

Squiffy why were you not happy about style shake? - have just spent hours on website wondering about it.

omgomgomg
i haev a fab fab new dress for a wedding ins eptemebr

ah not in your size i think.