50, fat and not a clue what to wear anymore.

[2longinthetooth]

Im into my 50,s now and I seem to have lost my way, Ive not a clue what to wear anymore, i live in joggers, t shirts and trainers. I have a uniform for work. Ive gone through the menopause and im fat, im in a size 18/20. I used to love jeans but lately I cant stand tight clothing especially around my waist. Bras are doing my head in, just tight, ive tried comfort ones but they give no support to big boobs. Im not into floaty dresses, they make me look fatter.
When I look at styles for my age on the internet they look ancient, I also dont want to look like mutton. I want to look modern, classic but comfort cant stress the comfort, zero heels now days.
Help!

I was size 18/20 a couple of years ago. Managed to get down to size 10 on MJ. Im 64. I find it harder dressing now than when I was fat.
I always wear elasticated trousers fat or thin. I cant stick tight waistbands.
I would wear smart trousers, skirts and dresses just made me look chunkier and then smart layers. Nice shirt, smart cardigan, blazer, poncho. Then you can take layers off if you get too hot. Nice ankle boots with a bit of a heel. Jewellery.

What kind of styles do you like?

I'm same age / size and tend to look on the Next directory so I can filter the search and order several things to try.

Live Unlimited - quality has gone down recently but my fave dress from this summer was from them.
So Satsuma - a little out there but my most complimented trousers
Fat Face - jeans - I can only get our size online, our local shop is rubbish
Sea Salt - nice tunics and trousers

M&S are actually hitting some quite nice outfits and have Jaegar etc in larger sizes.

ASOS and Simply Be are good for a nosey.

I hate going into the shops, would rather buy online and return it.

The dress is on sale at JL just now

Live Unlimited Check Sleeveless Maxi Dress, Black

I’m a size 12/14 and have given up on waistbands unless elasticated. I’m 35…

Anyway. There are loads of gorgeous cord/denim ‘autumn’ dresses around at the moment, which are easy to wear with a chunky cardigan. Maybe start there? Versatile too.

https://tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/product/tuc146974449?cmpid=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=20336096327&utm_term=___%7Bproduct_item_id%7D&utm_content=shopping&utm_custom1=&utm_custom2=825-875-8916&utm_custom6=TU_PPC_BAU_SEARCH_GOOGLE_PMAX+SHOPPING_CLOTHING_3PB_xx_xx_Mixed_PMax&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20340561088&gbraid=0AAAAADCAkB-WgKW0Q_pzl_5hE5JpQy81z&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsNbpqrDIlwMVMJaDBx0nCAqyEAQYDiABEgKaT_D_BwE

Btw if you size up in those dresses they’re super comfy, trick is just not too fitted/tight - I always buy 1 size up.

I'm over 60, fat and bras were doing my head in too. I'd take it off THE MINUTE I got home - best moment of my day.

I went to one of those proper bra shops - not a big name, but a small independent shop. A brilliant woman there didn't even measure me, just looked at me in my old bra and got a bra off the shelf for me.

What a difference! I'd been wearing pretty much the wrong bra for me in every size, shape and respect. The new one took pounds off me and moved my bosoms back where they used to be (only while I have it on sadly).

I'm sure it's a different bra for everyone but getting the right fit makes such a difference. Bit more expensive than M&S or Sainsbury's bras but worth every penny. Mine's Chardos Rosalind.

I’m in my 60’s and dropped from a size 22 to a 12 on Mounjaro and couldn’t be happier. Wish I’d done it years ago!

I’m 46 and the same size as you. I also wear joggers, trainers etc. I don’t think you have to completely change your style, if you like joggers look at h and m and asos for barrel shaped ones and wide legged ones which are slightly more stylish and “in”. Choose trainers that are very fashionable- adidas flat suede ones, new balance chunky ones, etc. I’ve actually just got myself a pair of crocs crafted clogs which many people would hate but I actually think they look really nice with a nice pair of joggers and a comfortable jumper - I’ve just got a few from urban outfitters and they have some really nice part wool ones which aren’t itchy and look great. I don’t like dresses etc and jeans as I just find them uncomfortable so don’t ever bother with them.

Who's style do you like OP?

Also second getting fitted by an independent bra shop, can make a world of difference.

Well done, you but I'm confused as to how that is helping the OP?

@2longinthetooth

Hobbs, Ghost, and Zara all do larger sizes now if it's for something more than kicking about in. Larger stores of Primark carry bigger sizes. Mango online has plus size; I've never had much luck with their stuff though. The Debenhams website has options, as does River Island.

Currently I'm rocking wide-leg or barrel-shaped trousers/jeans with a variety of trainers. I tend to find a fine knit is better than a thicker jumper but do love an oversized knit.

If you have a big Sainsbury's and Tesco near you, they're great for staples/layers - just no changing rooms to try them on.

Thanks for the replies everyone, there are really good suggestions I can try, @ChocoChocoLatte that black check dress is lovely for the summer.
Its such hit and miss with clothes, i do go for an elasticated waist.
I suppose im happy wearing my joggers and ive have bought some smart joggers which are nice but sometimes there are occasions where i want to look smarter for appointments etc
As for bras it is hard because ive slipped discs in my neck so any pulling on the shoulders causes severe pain, i dont mind paying top notch for a good bra because it can change your appearance. I was also thinking of a sports bra type of thing maybe better for shoulders and support.

I would look on Vinted. I get everything from there now. It gives you loads of inspiration and the clothes are amazing - things you won't find on the high street - and it's so cheap! You can filter by size too.

What height are you OP? I'm a 18/16 but I'm tall.
I'm just building a new wardrobe so I could share what I've bought.

@Tooldforthisshit im 5ft 6

late 50s here, and same

I AM LOVING CLOTHES NOW! The only issue is choosing what to wear, but copilot helps me with that

@2longinthetooth if you’re not happy with how you look, change it! There has never been a better time to do something that improves your health and wellbeing, not forgetting your own self esteem too.

18/20 isn’t a walk in the park to find clothes, but there are options on the high street, for to M&S for example and try things on.

then see if you can track them down on Vinted if you’re a bit strapped for cash

OP I always start with black trousers.
David Nieper have elastic back but a formal front band. Pricey but maybe on vinted. Marks and Spencer have autograph trousers. I've worn them for ten years. I wash mine in woolite.

Next a good bra. Very hard. I'm still a H/ hh cup so I buy panche or marks. I have a new Freya which is comfy but not such a good lift. At home I wear stretch bras from Amazon.

Next i'd recommend some lands end jumpers, t-shirts and shirts. They wash really well. I buy a lot secondhand off eBay for these brands. I look for bnwt.

Sadly I wear sketchers as I have mobility issues but I do buy moshlou and carvela low heels.

If you are very busty look for v necks, skip the shiny fabrics.
I set myself a budget each season and then that's it.

Was just going to post the same, OP hasn't said anything about wanting to lose weight. I'm tired of bloody WLI being mentioned on so many S&B threads, if people want to read about them there's a whole separate board.

OP I'm a similar size but actually feel more stylish these days than I ever have, I think it's knowing your own style which has taken me years. Would you consider a personal stylist? I follow Emily Innes on Instagram and she's great and I think pretty affordable. Personal styling has moved on a long way since Bridget Jones' mum!

@Tooldforthisshit yes vinted is fab, i dont mind paying more if I will wear it and it fits nice, used to have a pair of trousers from wallis and the fabric was a delight, cut beautiful, they were a quality pair of trousers but my shape changed and they no longer fit. Wore them for yrs.
Dont get me started on bras, always bought m and s but lately relying on thin straps to hold g cup is not fun on my neck discs. Ive also costocondritis so having an exceptionally tight band is a no no. Was looking at miss mary of sweden. Will try sports bras first as they are cheaper.
I like boden stuff and have found some quirky tops on vinted to give a little personality, plus as i said i love coats, jackets, ponchos
Thanks for the tips, will check them out.

@ProfessorofDarkArts no ive not thought of a personal stylist, I will check her out.

As for the losing weight, I would like to lose some, ive recently had a hysterectomy and put on a stone so that doesnt help plus I make excuses so im not helping myself.
I think since ive hit my 50,s I want to look smart, I see so many women who make it look effortless and classic. Capsule wardrobe I need.

I'm an 18-20 in my 40s and I regularly receive compliments on what I wear and how I wear it. Biggest game changer was stopping trying to wear the same as everyone else. I've been size 10, 12, 14, 16 too and I've always felt my shittest when comparing myself to slimmer friends in similar outfits. This way madness lies.

It is hard to dress a belly. That's been the hardest element of choosing clothes in my current body.

Jeans often look shit on me and they can be very uncomfortable so I'm pretty picky. Best for comfort, shape and size for me has been Snag - the people who make the tights and the chub rub shorts. Those jeans are very comfortable and I wear the black pair loads as I can dress them up or down.

My fave brand for clothes available in a wide range of sizes is Never Fully Dressed. It can be quite spenny but often comes up on Vinted, or you can get a limited selection via Next or Asos and spread the cost monthly or use Klarna. They use a mix of models so it's easier to see how stuff looks on different bodies (and ages, skin colour etc). Alison Hammond and Andi Oliver have worn a lot of different outfits from them in recent years.

And I now prefer to spend on something I love that I can wear over and over and in a range of ways than something cheap that I don't enjoy wearing as much.

Another thing that really changed how I dressed my body was switching my mindset away from thinking I only deserved nice clothes when I got smaller or buying clothes for a special event in a smaller size as motivation to lose weight. That stuff SUCKS ARSE and can get in the bin. Buy clothes for the body you have right now.

Belly and curve friendly stuff that I love and that feels fancy but is also comfy tends to include satin skirts or dresses cut on the bias so they skim rather than cling. Pair with a fun tshirt for a casual look, a gorgeous coloured wool jumper for the winter or a lace camisole and blazer for a meal out.

Agree with DorsetKnobBiscuit about bras - it's about making sure they fit you correctly. It's annoying but worth it and when I find a design that looks great and fits well I just buy it in a range of colours so I can mix things up without having to go through the rigmarole of trying different brands on.

Knowing your style and colours helps too. What are you into? Something with a rockier edge or something more whimsical and feminine? For me, that's what makes the difference between something feeling right or wrong on me. If it's too frilly and froufrou it's just not for me - could look amazing on someone else but I feel weird and wonky and like I'm playing dress up.

Also - joggers, tshirts and trainers are not all the same. An outfit of joggers, tshirts and trainers could look really cool. I follow a lot of dopamine dressing accounts on Instagram and comfort is king.

@MajorProcrastination thanks, im the same im not a chintzy flowery gal, i like strong bold colours or solid colour trousers and top with a statement coat. I need to get my act together, I used to love clothes and shopping but now i find it a chore. Ive been all sizes but even though I can pick a size, everything just looks like a sack of shit on me. I will checkout those jeans because im on the hunt for the most comfortable pair. Thanks for the help.

Please do not skimp on bras!!!
I'm not your size but I am "blessed" in the boob department. A new bra that supports well(the majority of the support should come from the band but not be uncomfortable), makes a world of difference to how I feel and how clothes look. Even bras that used to fit wonderfully, wear out and I have to replace, but they're worth the investment for me. I once considered breast reduction on the NHS (used to be eligible due to the disproportionate size I am) but decided against it once I realised how important a good fitting bra was!!

I use chatgpt to plan my wardrobe now..... If you give it a description of your dimensions, and prompt it about what colours and styles you like, what areas you want to hide or emphasise etc it will give you images of suggested outfits, and can even source them at all budgets....give it a go, it's pretty amazing!

Thanks for the info and help, @ChemistryTutor1i never thought of using chat gpt. Will give that a go now.