50, fat and not a clue what to wear anymore.

[2longinthetooth]

Im into my 50,s now and I seem to have lost my way, Ive not a clue what to wear anymore, i live in joggers, t shirts and trainers. I have a uniform for work. Ive gone through the menopause and im fat, im in a size 18/20. I used to love jeans but lately I cant stand tight clothing especially around my waist. Bras are doing my head in, just tight, ive tried comfort ones but they give no support to big boobs. Im not into floaty dresses, they make me look fatter.
When I look at styles for my age on the internet they look ancient, I also dont want to look like mutton. I want to look modern, classic but comfort cant stress the comfort, zero heels now days.
Help!

50s, 5’2” size 18, big boobs, big bum, big belly, I also have fibromyalgia so wearing clothes is literally painful a lot of the times.

My wardrobe
A selection of lite weight tracksuits, hoodies, loungewear for when I can’t cope with my pain but need to wear something.

A selection of Halara jeans & trousers - they arnt like normal jeans, they are lightweight and so comfortable. I have casual I wear with T-shirts, semi casual I can mix with blouses & tshirts, smart which I again wear with blouses and or a nice blazer for going out. Halara do leg lengths which is fantastic being short.

A couple of nice dresses - Fit and flare has been my go to style for most of my life and I find it most flattering with a big belly and boobs.

Shoes I predominantly wear trainers and a have a couple of ankle boots. I struggle with heals now.

Ive never been good with accessories but the last few years I’ve been working on this, I’ve found adding belts and jewellery to my look makes me feel so much nicer, even on bad fibro days. I now have a selection of belts, small lightweight bags ( I can’t use heavy bags) a mix of jewellery, nothing fancy just add a bit extra to my outfit.

I have found a couple of nice dresses and a lovely blazer from Roman this year.

@AliceMcKThanks, yes im the same with bags, in fact I have zero bags now and I used to love a bag but anything heavy on my shoulders is a no no. I find even heavy coats affect me too.

Halara trousers are great. Stretchy waistbands annd smart enough to wear to work and to wear out in the evening. I’ve got the wide leg waffle and the straight leg. Both in short length. They have loads of colours (although I stick to black).
I sound like I’m on commission but I’m not! But they are great slterive to jeans or joggers.

This is such toxic advice

is it bollocks! Have a word with yourself!

As with all of these threads I will advise what I always do and that is to think about the styles that you’re drawn to rather than clothes that you think you should wear because of thoughts of camouflaging your size or because of age etc. Personally i like a quite androgynous / minimal kind of style. You might like something more boho or colourful. ( dopamine dressing ). Then have a think about what your clothes need to do… what’s your lifestyle? I would endlessly buy tailoring but no longer work in an office for example.

Anyway as an absolutely vague recommendation I came across this site that looks interesting. Just choose something which is a notch nicer than your current favourites. A pair of jersey trousers and a boyfriend sweater rather than joggers. You can still keep trainers or switch to a ballet flat or a trainer / shoe crossover that have been around. Simple bag. They remind me of Rise and Fall but seem to have a larger size range.

www.quince.com/

Ugh can’t believe all this unsolicited weightloss advice. WLI have really removed the veneer of common decency and courtesy when talking about women’s bodies. Now people seem to think there is no reason to be fat with the advent of WLI so let’s just barge into any conversation with somebody plus sized and tell them if they want to look good, they’d better take medication for the rest of their lives, as trying dress nicely or feel good a couple of stone heavier is IMPOSSIBLE. Damaging patriarchal bullshit.

@Hotmess101 👍👏👏👏👏👏👏

I always recommend these three:

The Chelsea Pensioners | Royal Hospital Chelsea

Chelsea Physic Garden | Historic Botanical Garden in London

Plan a visit | National Army Museum

All on the same road and almost next door to each other! A short walk from Sloane Square Tube

@Hotmess101 Im well over dressing for other people, yes id like to lose a few pounds for myself but ive been all sizes, yes when i was size 10 it was easier but I was genuinely not happy I was starving. Ive done it all and if people want to take mj good on them but id rather see how well it performs in the long run. No one is shaming me because im not here for opinions, Im after style advice, dressing in your 50,s,

Wrong thread sorry! 😂

Sure, I understand that. I was more venting about the general skew towards telling women above a size 10 to jump on the jabs as surely that is the only way to look good. As it was mentioned more than once on here I felt like jumping on to voice my frustration but I guess I’ll save it for another thread 💛🩷🧡

re fashion advice, I have tried to work with trends but put my own spin on it so it still feels classic and comfy and suits my figure (5’7, size 14, mid-40s, apple-ish shape with big boobs and slimmer hips). So high waisted mum or barrel jeans work well for me as they cover my chubby lower tummy and create an artificial waist for me above that, with more fabric round my slimmer hips to balance them out with my broader shoulders. Then a fitted top quite often so my boobs don’t merge into my belly under swathes of cloth. Saying that, I don’t always want to be ‘flattered’ as such and I enjoy wearing more voluminous crew-neck T-shirts tucked in too.

Dungarees are great on days where you want to look stylish but are desperate for comfort. I love them with a fitted polo neck underneath in cold weather with chunky jewellery and tennis shoes.

what shape do you have? Balancing out shoulders and hips is often key to creating a good silhouette, as well as lengthening short torsos or legs or vice versa.

I am the same. I can’t bear any weight at all on my shoulders or neck. It’s just too painful. I have found Cocopup bags (the bum bag size) really light weight and comfortable to wear as a cross body bag. They are advertised as a dog walking bag but come in lots of different colours with a choice of different design straps. I really need to sell my heavier bags. Thanks to PP regarding the crafted Croc clogs they look great!

I prefer no bag but I carry a lot of meds so need something. I also still have fairly young DCs so end up being the “Mom Mule” .

For my bras I use strap support pads, they have made a huge difference.

Alot of women are not wearing the correct bra size . More should use their independents that's what they are there for.

https://www.marksandspencer.com/2pk-ultimate-support-non-wired-sports-bras-a-h/p/clp60706940?intid=mobile_app_pdp_share&color=IvoryMix

i have these sport bra’s from M & S and it is comfy. It doesn’t give the perfect shape that a underwire bra would but it still looks pretty good and I wear them everyday.

Absolutely. Not everyone can or wants to take weight loss drugs. Someone coming along asking for advice about plus sized fashion does not translate into asking for advice about losing weight.

I am 50 and used to be a size 16, lost weight on MJ, size 10 now. I do weights as well so look really healthy and (slightly) toned.

I wear everything from leggings with chunky jumpers (merino knits rather than hoodies!) now it's cold, to dresses all year round, even little shorts and vests in the summer. Luckily I tan really easily, and I have good skin, and toned legs, so the look suits me.

Sick to death of all the midi dresses though... I prefer short ones or maxi dresses.

To be honest I wouldn't dream of looking at clothes aimed at 50 year olds, I am quite 'young' for my age, in terms of outlook, lifestyle, appearance etc. I just kind of do my own thing, sometimes I look like a surfer chick, other times a kind of boho or hippy vibe, other times a gym bunny. I have really long hair, that gets natural sun kissed highlights, so it fits with the overall style of me.

I think what I am saying is what suits me, won't necessarily suit you. What's your personality? What sort of hair do you have? What are you into? (Lifestyle culture etc). Let that guide your style, but then pick things within that style that suit you and make you feel great about yourself. I think I still have the same sort of look as when I was a size 16, but just the specific shapes/lengths or cuts of clothes are different as my figure is different.

You're tall ish so I'd start with a good couple of trousers - jersey straight or wide leg in black and navy then look at a range of tops you like the style of.

You see a lot of tunics for 50+ ladies but I think they serve a purpose of covering the tummy but not very flattering. It's autumn/winter so some decent cashmere jumpers with a tight fitting top underneath is understated and classic.

I have gynae issues so I'm elasticated waist all the way but I'm short so wore jeggings with chunky boots and jumpers a lot as they were comfy and hid me.

Only lose weight if you want to not just because everyone else has used wli. Your body, your choice.

This sounds great!

This has got to be rage bait

@Happyever1 i dont get the rage bait stuff, people saying about themselves what to make me feel bad 🤣🤣. When you get to 50 youve seen and experienced all types of people, then you think and.... unfortunately some people love to brag. Fab thats great for you. Happy for you. Im not some sad sack over here, im just after some tips of dressing iver 50. Ive got a life, so people telling me they are 50 and looking like a supermodel is great. Pleased for you and I move on because what they are actually giving me is nothing constructive. Are they saying you are fat and they are thin so they are better than me, dont think so love, ive had a successful career, money, family and lovely priviledged life, so none your mj talk is going to trump that. Also ive been super slim and hated it, constantly thinking about food. I value cooking with the family and enjoying it. Dont stress over people and their opinions or bragging, it means nothing in reality and has no impact on my life whatsoever.

You don’t need to be slim to dress well … although access to clothes can be a lot easier. That being said there a thread from a lady who had lost weight and couldn’t sell her plus size designer clothes ( she worked in fashion ). I think if you can work out what direction you want to take your style there will be plenty of opportunities to snap up some beautiful items cheaply second hand. Not that things need to be designer to feel good but if you can get a £1000 Max Mara coat for £150 why not do that than a new synthetic coat from the high street. I still wear cashmere sweaters etc from when I was bigger so it’s not money down the drain. Also a good seamstress can really help get the fit right which obviously helps with the overall look.

For bras I’ve abandoned underwires almost completely and wear almost exclusively Boody or Snag but I’m sure there are loads of other similar brands. No they don’t give he same lift but hey that’s the trade off. They’re not around my knees at least.

https://www.marksandspencer.com/embroidered-total-support-full-cup-bra-a-k-/p/clp60747279?color=WHITE#intid=pidpg1pip48g4r2c2
Try this bra OP. I have always had Fantasie bras, underwired with side support but, since having lung surgery, I can’t wear them.
I’ve tried a number of soft bras and this one is definitely the best.
Good luck, I’m watching with interest this thread; I’m in my 70’s size 18 and definitely Rubenesque rather than Twiggy!

This one is worth a try too.
https://www.marksandspencer.com/amelia-lace-non-wired-total-support-bra-b-h/p/clp60697293?color=WHITE#intid=pid_pg1pip48g4r5c2%7Cprodflag_plp_ts_QPH_100+

@Tiddlywinks63thanks for the sign post. Im going off m and s lately not because the quality isn't there but for me the strap sizes are not thick enough to distribute the weight to stop pain. Im going to look at miss mary of sweden or racer backs so they have max support. Failing that im going to have to employ a boob holder.