Do you think women are judged more harshly than men for bold colorful dressing?

[dressinguptime]

My question has a backstory. Years ago I went to meet a male friend and I thought I looked good. I was wearing a dark navy trench coat, a hot pink scarf and dark navy shoes with hot pink detail. The top half effect was sort of like this except there was also hot pink on the shoes. https://lookastic.com/women/looks/coat-dress-pants-chelsea-boots/29121
When I arrived, he said I looked like the local eccentric. I hadn't thought of this for a long time. It was when I was in my late 20s but recently I realised it really had got to me and a deep effect on me and since then I've felt uncomfortable wearing anything striking looking whether a bright pink colour or unusual/attention attracting design.

I watched the Emmys and it made me think of this and I was wondering whether there are huge double standards in terms of bolder dressing for men and women. Men can dress in a colourful bolder style and are rated stylish even in their 50s and 60s. Thinking of people like Jeff Goldblum, Alan Cumming and Harry Styles. These may not be the best examples and I'm actually talking about real life not celebrities but trying to illustrate it.

I wonder if women who dress in a bolder style or more colorful style especially when over 40 tend to be judged as eccentric and a bit weird in their dress. These also may not be the best examples but people like Sue Pollard, Vivienne Westwood or Prue Leith. Off the top of my head, the only woman I can think of who was a bit more flamboyant and dressed to be noticed who was regarded as stylish is Iris Apfel and I think even she was considered to be a bit eccentric.

I'm interested in what people think about this and whether my sense is right - that for men, boldness, bright colors and flamboyance is seen as more acceptable whereas in women, it is seen as a bit weird, something to criticize and to suppress by judging it as eccentric. The older you get the stronger the assessment of color/bold dressing is a sign of eccentricty seems to be.

I know MN can tend a bit towards 'be kind'/'wear what you want' but I'm not asking because I want to be told it's all fine and I should ignore what was said to me years ago! I get that my ego was a bit crushed and I should have ignored it!. I wished I could have ignored it but it hurt and I didn't want people thinking I was eccentric. That's not why I'm asking.

I'm interested in genuine views about the prevailing social pressures and views about men vs women in terms of a bolder style of dress. Do you think I'm right that it's different for men and women and if so, what do you think is the reason for it? where does this come from? Is it men? Or women? Or both?

At a guess, it's likely to be dickheads on social media who think any woman over 40 should only dress in beige 😆

A shout out here to Joe Browns who are one of the few shops who sell bolder colours and prints for men. I bought my husband a lovely shirt there with little guitars all over it which he really likes.

I agree. I've never felt judged for wearing bright colours. Men's clothes tend to be very dull.

Sue Pollard, Vivienne Westwood and Prue Leith chose their style deliberately. They are public figures and so it gets commented on but not usually cruelly imo. There are internet twats who comment negatively on women whatever they do.

It’s the other way round- men are seen as eccentric when they wear loud clothing. I see women in loud clothing (colours, patterns, designs) all the time and no one cares at all. Put men in clothing like that and everyone has an opinion.

I agree with others, women have far more freedom.

The outfit in your post is fairly standard, dark colours and a pink scarf. The pink shoes you were wearing were hardly a major eccentricity. Vivienne Westwood would be disappointed in you.

A navy coat and pink scarf would be restrained by my standards.

No isn’t it the other way around? Many women dress in bright colours. Men that do tend to get stereotyped as hooray Henrys (the red trousers etc) or flamboyantly gay.
I don’t think you can make a statement about societal norms by looking at how celebrities dress - some of what they wear to these awards shows are ridiculous but when they get it right it’s often bright colours (women) and more conservative (men). Think of Nicole Kidman’s chartreuse dress or more recently Naomi Watts in deep raspberry trouser suit. Some celebrity men are known as pushing the envelope so to speak but that doesn’t filter down to the average Joe whereas the women’s often do.

It's totally the other way round!! Men very rarely wear vibrant colours and are judged very harshly when they do. Women are the opposite.

Agree with everyone saying it’s easier for women to dress expressively.

In both sexes, especially when it comes to older people, it’s seen as a little eccentric, but I think women are much less likely to be openly mocked or criticised for dressing more flamboyantly.

How many times do we see dislike of men in red trousers! They are immediately perceived as “toffs” and buffoons. Woman in a red dress? Totally different attitude. Men have a much harder time with colour.

It’s far easier for women to wear colours than men

what tv and movie stars can do isn’t what is possible for normal men

This

I suspect that there’s a lot going on here with the OP for her to be focussed on this one comment from years ago that it has gone deep into her psyche, so she says

@DogDaysandAfternoons
Su Pollard and Vivienne Westwood (who I adored) are eccentric though in their personalities, so it’s not just (or even mainly) the clothes that cause people to refer to them as eccentrics.

@SeedsOfReason
Yes, Su Pollard successfully made a trademark of her bright clothing, coloured glasses and generally being loud and outspoken. Vivienne Westwood's fashion was not known for being understated (I love VW clothes, I have some vintage jackets of hers) and I think any designer will style themselves like their own clothing brand and then some!

This is an interesting point. Maybe I've got this the wrong way round and that rather than clothing being judged as eccentric, the only women in the public eye who continue to wear bold statement and brightly coloured clothes into their 40s and 50s and 60s and 70s are actually eccentric of which their dress is a symptom. Come to think of it maybe the men too - I mean Jeff Goldblum is fairly eccentric.

Maybe all of this is just red carpet and television related anyway and not real life.

I always wore colourful outfits, suited my personality. Then I went through a “mum uniform” phase, skinny jeans. Breton tee etc…

I’m 50 now & moving towards more adventurous clothes again. But this time, I do think “Susie Greene” if I like anything too jazzy!

I agree with the others who say women have far much freedom with clothes and the colour palette of their clothes. Aside from the rare red carpet man who wears a tux in something other than black or navy I was trying to think of another male celeb who dresses in a very colourfully way. The only person who springs to mind...was Timmy Mallett, who from googling stills dresses as colourfully as he did in his 1980s heyday.

Easier said than done, but try and let careless off the cuff remarks from men, brush off you.

Elton John has always been a pretty bold and extravagant dresser, not just in his stage costumes.

I forgot about Elton!

I don’t get what’s wrong with being eccentric?