Do you think women are judged more harshly than men for bold colorful dressing?

[dressinguptime]

My question has a backstory. Years ago I went to meet a male friend and I thought I looked good. I was wearing a dark navy trench coat, a hot pink scarf and dark navy shoes with hot pink detail. The top half effect was sort of like this except there was also hot pink on the shoes. https://lookastic.com/women/looks/coat-dress-pants-chelsea-boots/29121
When I arrived, he said I looked like the local eccentric. I hadn't thought of this for a long time. It was when I was in my late 20s but recently I realised it really had got to me and a deep effect on me and since then I've felt uncomfortable wearing anything striking looking whether a bright pink colour or unusual/attention attracting design.

I watched the Emmys and it made me think of this and I was wondering whether there are huge double standards in terms of bolder dressing for men and women. Men can dress in a colourful bolder style and are rated stylish even in their 50s and 60s. Thinking of people like Jeff Goldblum, Alan Cumming and Harry Styles. These may not be the best examples and I'm actually talking about real life not celebrities but trying to illustrate it.

I wonder if women who dress in a bolder style or more colorful style especially when over 40 tend to be judged as eccentric and a bit weird in their dress. These also may not be the best examples but people like Sue Pollard, Vivienne Westwood or Prue Leith. Off the top of my head, the only woman I can think of who was a bit more flamboyant and dressed to be noticed who was regarded as stylish is Iris Apfel and I think even she was considered to be a bit eccentric.

I'm interested in what people think about this and whether my sense is right - that for men, boldness, bright colors and flamboyance is seen as more acceptable whereas in women, it is seen as a bit weird, something to criticize and to suppress by judging it as eccentric. The older you get the stronger the assessment of color/bold dressing is a sign of eccentricty seems to be.

I know MN can tend a bit towards 'be kind'/'wear what you want' but I'm not asking because I want to be told it's all fine and I should ignore what was said to me years ago! I get that my ego was a bit crushed and I should have ignored it!. I wished I could have ignored it but it hurt and I didn't want people thinking I was eccentric. That's not why I'm asking.

I'm interested in genuine views about the prevailing social pressures and views about men vs women in terms of a bolder style of dress. Do you think I'm right that it's different for men and women and if so, what do you think is the reason for it? where does this come from? Is it men? Or women? Or both?

Aside from brightly coloured football shirts, I see far fewer men in bold colours than women, hot pink is particularly uncommon for men. I think it's very likely a man might be judged eccentric for wearing that kind of colour scheme - or possibly, some people might make stereotypical assumptions about a man's sexuality if the colours were deemed 'feminine',

I think women have more freedom to wear the colours they want - but they are far more likely to be judged for other aspects of their dress - being dowdy/scruffy/too revealing etc. - so they are no better off for this.

@SeedsOfReason It was more about bold dressing generally in terms of style rather than the colour or colour pink particularly. I mentioned that because of what was said to me.

I think what I'm talking about it more evident in terms of celebrities because they are more visible and bolder dressing is more common in both women and men because they are performers.

This is Alan Cummings Emmy outfit as an illustration. The shoes are Christian Louboutin and styled like a ballerina's point shoe.

https://www.gofugyourself.com/photos/wearing-white-and-black-and-white-at-the-2026-emmys/78th-emmy-awards-arrivals-41

Even though its black and white, I feel like a woman going to a party dressed like that would be judged differently. It would be eyerolling look at her crazy shoes and wacky suit whereas on a man it's seen as stylish and cool.

Women I think - fab

Men I think - local amateur theatre actor

I actually think it’s the other way round on the whole.

I think it’s definitely this!

I also think @dressinguptime you need to let go of a comment by an idiot made many years ago.

So do I!

I think your friend was just rude.

Yes, women absolutely get judged on their clothes but it’s more about if they’re too tight or revealing or whatever than colour or boldness. Men are way more likely to take the piss out of other men for dressing bold and bright in my experience.

Absolutely not - men who
wear colourful clothing provide ripe fodder for their friends who call them an array of colourful and not very politically correct names, in my experience (I’m 50+.)

It was only in the past 10years that my husband would wear a pale pink shirt to work. He certainly wouldn’t wear any other shade of pink (or purple) at any time. Friends appearing in unduly bright tones are the butt of many a joke.

The red carpet is very different to day to day life. As PPs have said, look around boys and men in the high street or any men's clothes shop: their clothes colours are basically limited to black, brown, navy blue or sludge green (maybe light grey, for some variation). And the cuts are pretty much the same, season after season, while women get huge variety in colours, fabrics, styles, lengths, accessories, etc.

But also as PPs have said, women will get judged in some other way than colour or boldness. I'd love to see more men dressing like Styles or Goldblum, but "masculinity" teaches them from a really young age that it's not 'correct'. Such a shame.

I don't think you can use the kind of thing people wear at high profile celebrity events as a rule for general life, @dressinguptime . Both men and women wear all kinds of bizarre outfits to awards ceremonies - they're seeking press attention, whether positive or negative and similarly the media will report it in whatever they think is the most headline grabbling way.

If you're talking about what you might see walking down the high street of the average town, or in an office, or at an ordinary persons wedding or party, a woman in bright colours and bold styles would attract far less attention than a man.

But as I said, it's more likely a woman would be judged in other ways whatever she wore, whereas it's easy for men to pass under the radar even if they are scruffy or dull or their clothes are ill-fitting, as long as they blend in reasonably well with their clothing choices.

I think the guy just sounds not very nice, or perhaps he was nervous and trying to make a 'joke'.

I once wore a lovely, quite plain jersey dress that I loved to the local disco and a male friend told me it was 'a bit much.' Never forgotten it especially as this guy wasn't in any way stylish at all, and still isn't!

I know @Arlanymor you are right but it obviously got deep into my psychee.

They usually are friends with equally bold clothing wearing chaps

You have had the grand total of ONE comment from years ago?

Why though? It wasn’t a dumb comment and I am sure plenty of people walked past you in the street on that day and thought you looked fab. Don’t let this comment damage you anymore - it’s in your hands to end the impact.

@Asquarenose no it's not just based on that. LOL. I was thinking like I said of the way people report and comment on the women I mentioned especially older ones like Sue Pollard, Vivienne Westwood, Prue Leith who seem to be judged as a bit eccentric and treated cruelly in a way that I don't think does happen to men. It maybe that I'm comparing apples and oranges because the women I'm thinking of are more real life dressing and the men are more red carpet dressing which as PP said, is designed to be looked at.

Are you still friends with him?

Su Pollard and Vivienne Westwood (who I adored) are eccentric though in their personalities, so it’s not just (or even mainly) the clothes that cause people to refer to them as eccentrics.

Yes, Su Pollard successfully made a trademark of her bright clothing, coloured glasses and generally being loud and outspoken. Vivienne Westwood's fashion was not known for being understated (I love VW clothes, I have some vintage jackets of hers) and I think any designer will style themselves like their own clothing brand and then some!

Definitely the other way round. I have some lilac trousers I wear to work and usually get a compliment from one of the other women. One of the guys wore light blue trousers one day and all the other men took the piss (middle class corporate environment so not Neanderthal-heavy)

Nah men are judged more harshly than women, and your outfit doesn’t sound eccentric, he just had a dig at you. The question is why does it still bother you? It was just a shitty comment.

viviene Westwood was a very famous designer, she was not judged harshly. Sue pollard embraced the whole I’m mad me thing and Pru has her own style and is an elderly lady who presents herself with class.

Im sad that you are bothered by a shitty comment from a bloke years ago when I would bet my house he never gave it another thought once you've were out of his sight.

I was thinking like I said of the way people report and comment on the women I mentioned especially older ones like Sue Pollard, Vivienne Westwood, Prue Leith who seem to be judged as a bit eccentric and treated cruelly in a way that I don't think does happen to men.
Who judges them cruelly?

Colour and prints are two of the few aspects of clothing where women definitely have more latitude than men - thank goodness.

I'd buy a lot more men's knitwear if the colours weren't (nearly) all so drab.