How did you end up with clothes you don’t like?

[Flomasterina]

I am curious to learn from others’ mistakes. What have you bought that you look at now and think - WTF was I thinking?

I am not talking about clothes that don’t fit you anymore or that have gone out of fashion like skinny jeans.

Over and after pandemic I had a bit of style reset and focussed on buying better, not chase sales and learning about good fit and composition. I have consumed a lot of content about capsule wardrobes and French women style rules, which appealed to my minimalist mindset, I get easily overwhelmed by variety.

Where I went wrong big time was buying too many expensive black items (worst colour on me), thinking they will be my forever pieces. I have kept my black coats (I can break up the colour with tops and scarves) and leather skirt, but sold on silk shirt, satin skirt and jumper. Same with camel / tan, it’s just not me.

My other mistake is compromising on something because I just loved the idea, or felt desperate to close the gap and kept it when I should have returned. This is mainly shoes too painful to wear, or a navy blazer that fitted perfectly but looked like something from 6th Form, or a great cropped jacket but in the wrong colour.

Sometimes I fall into the trap of trying to dress my body for how it used to look rather than how it looks now. I used to know by the shape of something whether it would suit me. Now its trial and error and I have to try things on.

I don't now.
I place anything new at the front of my wardrobe hanging up. If I haven't worn them in 2 weeks they're obviously not my style, or uncomfortable or just don't feel right and hence I return. I rarely veer from neutral bases in white or ecru, so they go with everything.
Plus as a soft low contrast colouring I don't buy anything too bright, even though I love neon pink. It doesn't love me back.
I buy natural fabrics in wool/cotton/silk/cashmere as they wear and last better.

Mainly it's been either when I've seen something that looked great on someone else and gave no consideration to the fact it might not suit my entirely different proportions or complexion. Buy it, wear it. Realise it looks terrible on me.

Other times it's because I've seen something a bit different, and more "out there" to my normal fairly ordinary wardrobe and I've felt brave. So I buy it, wear it once, then feel horribly self conscious - or overthink the fact that nobody has complimented this lovely and very different style for me and therefore it must mean it looks hideous so it goes back into the wardrobe never to be seen until the next charity clear out.

Or there's the times DH makes a comment he think is funny, like when he told me (years ago) the khaki dress I bought made him think of GI Joe and kept referring to me as GI Jane. I never wore it again.

I’ve thought about this a lot and have mostly narrowed it down to make fewer mistakes (I still make some and think if we never made any mistakes our style would be very boring).

Firstly I used to be heavier (16-18 so not huge, but had very little confidence) and have a difficult shape to dress (short torso hourglass). For a long time my criteria was does this fit? A few years ago I lost a lot of weight and am now 10-12. Initially I got carried away with buying lots simply because it was the type of thing I wouldn’t have worn when heavier. But a lot of those clothes didn’t feel like me so just didn’t get it worn. I’ve seen it described as my taste not my style and that describes it perfectly I think- so for example I often admire patterns, fringing, lace, loads of layering but I actually prefer to wear more structured simple clothes so while I admire these things on others I now know that I personally won’t wear or buy them. The Simone Rocha x Adidas is testing me a bit but that’s an example!

Then like others have said buying clothes for a lifestyle I don’t have. For example skirts that only look good with heels are no longer something I will invest in because I won’t wear the heels.

Lastly- underestimating the accessories. I don’t actually wear much jewellery and am not a big handbag lover but have a few pieces of each that I wear a lot and make a difference to my outfits. The simple jewellery is very much part of my day to day signature if that makes sense. I’ve put a lot more thought into coats, jackets, belts and shoes. Before I bought mostly black shoes thinking they pulled everything together but actually they are too high contrast for a lot of my outfits. So I’ve now invested in some different colours. And also some different shapes to work with the different trouser shapes I have. I spent a lot of money on a really good wool coat and matching scarf so all my winter outfits feel more put together.

Oh god yes the scourge of the midi dress! Im 5ft 3 and end up looking like my Granny! Im finally realising that at my height it needs to be knee length or proper maxi.

I'm much better about this now but I'd say the two things that caused this for me where 1. Choosing things I did genuinely love, but just weren't in a style I would ever wear. I still have in my cupboard a sort of houndstooth jacket. I've never been able to bring myself to get rid of it. But I am not a houndstooth jacket kind of girl so have yet to find the occassion to wear it..... 2. Choosing things I like because of the colour or the fabric, without thinking about if it fits with the rest of my wardrobe.

The problem with midi dresses if youre not tall, in my opinion, is they only work if you wear sky high heels. And who does that any more outside of the Princess of Wales!?

Many reasons! I have a really weird body shape, which means hardly anything looks good or the way it's supposed to on me. I also love styles that are completely impractical for my life so they end up in the wardrobe for years. My feet are massive and wide, so all the shoes I lust after hurt me. I mostly wear men's t shirts and joggers.

I am on holiday and brought with me a summer dress I bought 2 years ago 'for when I lose weight'. I've lost the weight and the dress looks stupid - why did I think a square neck and big puffy sleeves would suit me?? As a consequence I've just panic-bought an alternative dress in a local shop...which I will probably never wear again...

Because in my head I'm a slender willowy woman with an edgy, Gothic style.

In actuality, while I am slender, I have boobs and bum which puts 'willowy' right out and the lovely Gothic type clothes I buy make me look like I got lost on my way to a fancy dress party.

I do love the idea of people buying outfits for imaginary lives.

Spunds like a great idea for a costume party - “come wearing the outfit you bought but never have the opportunity to wear.”

Buying suitable clothes in a panic for funerals. (I’m in Ireland where funerals take place 2 or 3 days after a death.)

I bought the same top in two colours just after a bad breakup. I can only assume the misery warped my judgement as I never wore either.

A beige linen dress. In my head it looked effortlessly chic. In reality I looked like a ghost wearing a sack.

A shirt with puffed sleeves because something similar looked great on my friend. I looked like an Edwardian school mistress.

@Uneatencrumble oh I’ve done that too! Panic buying a dress for a family funeral. I’ve now actually got a funeral outfit always available. In winter I’ve got a maxi wool black coat, black wool trousers and a cashmere polo neck jumper in dark grey. For summer it’s a simple black short sleeved dress. I do wear these things outside of funerals but they are generally my go to!

Great idea!

I love this post, and I'm certainly guilty of this. I'm sure everyone would think you looked utterly fabulous if you wore the wish fulfilment outfits to your normal activities. It would certainly make the pub quiz a bit more interesting! Everyone else might up their style game then.

You remind me of my DM (sadly deceased). Whenever someone close to us dies her first utterance was “I’ll need something new for the funeral’!

I end up with items I don’t love due to

1. Sales (like others I no longer let myself shop in sales).
2. trying to emulate the style of someone who has a completely different body shape and different personality to me - e.g. buying boho because I liked the look of it; it does not like me. I prefer a more minimalist and slightly tailored look.

I have finally found what suits my shape and personality and now I try not to let my imagined me be the person I shop for. I have also found, like many on this thread, shopping on holiday for the imagined “holiday me” is a disaster.

When I was little (very many years ago!) I went to ballet classes and our ballet school wore pale blue leotards with skirts. The ballet clothes shop had a pale pink dress in the window and how I longed for it! All my life I've been buying clothes in various shades of pink even though they don't suit me at all and they sit in the wardrobe unworn until I take them to the charity shop. I think at heart I'm still that little girl who longed for that pink ballet dress!

I do this. I imagine how I’ll look wearing something but the reality never looks quite right. Especially with things that are a bit more than my usual style - a top I bought for casual drinks that made me look 6 months pregnant, or the dress for a wedding that a troop of scouts could camp in.

I’ve learned to start looking well in advance of an occasion so I’m not panic buying, and to look for things I know suit my shape and colouring. I’ve recently invested in more of a capsule wardrobe for work because working from home I got stuck in t-shirts and jeans. I now look and feel more pulled together, and everything goes with everything else so no figuring out which top goes with what trousers.

Items that don’t go with lots of other things. It meant I rarely wore them because they weren’t adaptable.

Itchy jumpers. I’d tell myself it wasn’t that bad but then couldn’t stand wearing them so never did.

I don't have many clothes I dislike. Maybe a few very practical items like a huge linen dress which looks appalling but is the only comfortable thing on a boiling hot day

However I have loads of clothes I do like that don't fit my lifestyle. I wfh, have horses and dogs, eat and socialise in Country pubs, occasionally go to theatre and cinema BUT my preferred aesthetic is quite smart, formal and feminine. I love a fitted dress and heels or boots, tailoring, delicate knitwear.

I have tried to buy more for the life I lead but really there's no need for variety, 2 pairs of leggings and 2 big jumpers will do me for 90% of my life in winter, if I had 5 jumpers I'd prob just wear the 2 favourites anyway.

Maybe I need to alter my life to fit my wardrobe, back to the office and post work drinks in posh bars.

I love this idea. I should probably retrain as a drama teacher to better suit my wardrobe (legal sector)

Three main reasons for me:

• really wanting something to work, even if deep down I know it’s not quite right;
• impulse buys - often when travelling/on holiday;
• buying something because it’s a bargain (less so recently).

But occasionally it’s just bad judgement!

I am currently awaiting a few items from Me and Em. Affordable in the sale. I already know the tops will be way too long for my 5 foot 2 body. Maybe this thread will force me to return them…

Talking myself out of things because they are too expensive/I don’t need it/I can’t be bothered to queue (yes I really do this) then regretting it, leaving it too late to go back and getting something almost but not quite right.

not liking my shape and size and buying things because I think they will work miracles.

shoes - hard to fit feet means boots/trainers and occasional flat. Not 3 inch heels regardless of how comfy they are in the shop.

buying cheap for the stuff I wear the most. This baffles me but I still do it.

Rushing. I was so proud of myself this year as I actually bought a proper loungewear set rather than a cheap t shirt and crappy bottoms from Amazon. It’s only M&S but it was a set. Had seen online, went to big store. Didn’t have a short length in stock so instead of getting online where it was in stock I got the regular. If I don’t kill myself tripping over the legs by Christmas it will be a miracle.