Do others see attractiveness that you cannot see in yourself?

[Chunkychips1234]

I've always disliked my face, I have an heavy jawline for a woman and a prominent nose, I'm prone to being overweight (by about 2 stone) and still suffer from bad skin. I have a few good features but the bad ones cancel out the good ones. I think I look terrible with no make-up.

I see young women with beautiful, neat featured faces and it gets me down. I'd love a feminine face shape and small nose. 😔

Although I've had numerous people tell me that I'm pretty, including pretty people who of course know what beauty is, they just have to look in the mirror.

My point is do other people see something in your appearance that you yourself are unable to see?

I think I have a good style, I know what looks good on me. I don't follow terrible trends, I also don't overdo the make-up.

Is my decent dress sense giving others the impression that I'm more attractive than what I actually am?

Well they say "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" don't they?

Everyone is different and we all like different things x

My favourite artist (Waterhouse) used women with strong jaws and larger noses as his models.

They’re beautiful, striking features.

Maybe, I think we tend to hone in on certain features that bother us, whereas other people see you as a whole?

I hear this. I sometimes have strangers (men and women) in the street stopping me to tell me I am beautiful. And industry colleagues do the same (as well as friends and DP! But they love me; they are biased!) if we are familiar with each other.

I thank them, of course, but I don't feel beautiful and don't think I ever will (for various reasons). And that is okay. Am in an industry where looks don't matter and my DP finds me attractive which is what counts.

What I am is stylish, well-dressed and smiley. I think this is what bamboozles people 😀

I think you are focussing on the negative....
then wondering why you see it....
and then wondering how anyone else can see anything different.....

Yes. I find it irritating as I seem to attract men on (rare) nights out with friends, and as they make a beeline for me, "friends" get jealous and then turn out to not be quite so friendly after all. The fact I am asexual and have no interest in a romantic relationship seems to get forgotten...

I got bullied for most of my school years for my appearance (the bits that I can't hide), and... it's stuck. If anything, it taught me to look beyond someone's appearance, and that as 99% of people couldn't see beyond mine, they were all twats. Thus, I just have to work a bit harder to find the 1% of genuinely nice people in the world, and figure out how to keep them as friends (my social skills aren't brilliant).

I do not care what I look like (if I did, I wouldn't work in farming, where I rarely look presentable!), or whether other people look "nice", but I wish that other people could see beyond it.

I think Im more attractive than I really am. I took a selfie during the eclipse and then looked at it and thought WTF is my 90 year old mother doing in my photo 😂

I see beautiful women all the time very rarely do see a good looking man but I seem to always notice a beautiful woman. We never like what we're born with I guess x

My take on this is people look at the whole package, they do not scrutinise small imperfections. It’s the overall look.

I often see people on here say they look younger as they are fat. as it stretches out the wrinkles. But no one looks at just your face, they look at your whole you, and a big tummy and a matronly bust, double chins or jowls is not youthful it’s ageing. Very. No one is a floating head.

i think much of attractiveness is about grooming and presentation. We can all look attractive with the right effort.

a healthy weight, a toned body, flat stomach, good stylish clothes that suit our body shape and fit, good hair, decent make up that just makes a healthy look. All these things together bring an attractive look.

people get really hung up on small things, like jaw, or eyes or nose, but no one looks at anyone and says wow her jaw is heavy or she’d look better with a small nose, no one. We look at the overall package.

This, people focus on individual features but as a whole a face can just work even without perfect features. It’s why you get those plastic surgery people who have work to have all “perfect” features but the end up looking odd.

Nah. I think I look fine and others have pretty much always thought I look older. It’s probably because I don't really bother with hair and make up and skin 'care'. Men don't have that pressure (or didn't and it's still not as intense) so I refuse to accept it. I think it's a good, peaceful way to see the world but do get shocked when people don't take me particularly seriously because of it and think it's a shame. I know I'm still fine though .

I can always find a attractive feature in a person
Yes People notice usually my slim figure...but i love a curvy woman i like the shape and how some woman dress to suit.
I love someones flowy hair and lovely demeaner.
Mines flat drab and i loathe it.

Your features sound striking in a non conventional way. A strong jaw line makes for a beautiful face and a nose with personality makes a unique beauty.

I see my own beauty as much as anyone else can, I have a kind, soft face. My jawline sucks but it gives me the gentle look that suits my personality.

Faces don't need to look like supermodel or celebrities to be beautiful, I think you sound stunning.

Generally no. I’m short, fat and ugly and it’s fairly widely accepted truth.only one person has ever commented to the contrary but as they then went on to ghost me a few weeks later I assumed they went for an eye test and found themselves needing new glasses.

I don't think attractiveness and physical beauty are the same thing. I think attractiveness comes from your inner energy quite honestly.

For example I have loads of the features described as unattractive on this thread (fat, unkempt etc) and I have never had any shortage of sex tbh. Most of it emotionally satisfying as well as physically.

I'm not denying there are beautiful people of course. They're not better than the rest of us though!

Er not really but I’m ok with that, no-one really tells me I’m pretty etc but I don’t think it’s that important to me anymore. Maybe it’s my age. In a weird way it’s easier to have never been considered particularly attractive because I have nothing to “lose” as I get older.

I'm with @TiggersTheOnlyOne , so no. The closest I get is 'I like you trousers' so clothing rather than the person and even that isn't frequent.
Shame, cos I try to look good and hope that someone sees something attractive in me.

I think some people are just more prone to compliments than others, so a lot depends on your circle. I have friends who give lots of compliments, but I think they use that as a kind of social glue, so it's pretty meaningless.

I am shit at compliments. I'll think it, but will forget to say it. Unless it really leaps out at me.

If anything I probably over estimate my own beauty 😂 as in I’m pretty happy in low/no make up and often think I look nice in photos even where I haven’t made a massive effort.

But I will say I do love a strong jawline on a woman and think it is really beautiful, but I don’t have one.

Apparently I look attractive for my age, dress well, never had issues attracting partners, etc but if I take a selfie, good grief I look wonky, turkey neck, bags under my eyes, far worse than when I look in the mirror.
So who knows what others see

Mixed.

Ive had men find me very attractive (I’m always surprised) but people in my family don’t and I’ve felt that since a child.

when I had my dd, my mum said what a pretty face she has and she must take after her dad! My mum regularly comments how beautiful my sister is.

ultimately I don’t care anymore about how I look other than to feel good.

These people complimenting me were people that I didn't even know, so had no reason to try to make me feel better about myself.

I could have written this! 😅

Attractiveness involves a lot of things you don’t even think about — voice, posture, confidence, the way you carry yourself, being a great conversationalist. Charisma only relies on a very small amount of physical attractiveness. Some people just have an energy about them and that trumps a lot of the more obvious features.

I have never had anyone tell me I am pretty or beautiful. Even when I had a great figure and dressed well

Not any bfs or even exh.

Not even my own mother.

I look back and know what attracted bfs was I had a great body and my personality. Both took a lot of time and effort to put together.

When I stopped trying no one looked at me again to the point of invisibility.

Examples in the last few days 3 different people in 3 different settings offered my seat (I was sitting in) to someone else. They looked right through me and I could see the look of confusion in their face when I spoke that I somehow had appeared in the seat
Even appointments I have been told I wasn’t there. I get emails saying I missed appointments (especially if the appointment involved more than 1 person).
I work as agency personnel and have been told that I missed work (not just one time) and when I refer them to the sign in sheets I now have to take photos. I was told no one could remember I worked there.
Even though I spoke to people when I was there

Its exhausting having to remember to get proof before I leave to prove I was where I was just to get paid.