Do others see attractiveness that you cannot see in yourself?

[Chunkychips1234]

I've always disliked my face, I have an heavy jawline for a woman and a prominent nose, I'm prone to being overweight (by about 2 stone) and still suffer from bad skin. I have a few good features but the bad ones cancel out the good ones. I think I look terrible with no make-up.

I see young women with beautiful, neat featured faces and it gets me down. I'd love a feminine face shape and small nose. 😔

Although I've had numerous people tell me that I'm pretty, including pretty people who of course know what beauty is, they just have to look in the mirror.

My point is do other people see something in your appearance that you yourself are unable to see?

I think I have a good style, I know what looks good on me. I don't follow terrible trends, I also don't overdo the make-up.

Is my decent dress sense giving others the impression that I'm more attractive than what I actually am?

Secretly I think I am really attractive unless somebody else takes photos. It’s all in my head however.

what I will say though is that I am often praised for my confidence which my husband says is very attractive

basically I am delightfully deluded but literally don’t need anybody else’s input. Well a compliment is always good but whatever…. They’re all
jealous I think…..🤔 …. Hmm

I have a strong jaw ( big chin), at 55 though I don’t have sagging jowls. I don’t think I’m pretty but I am fairly attractive and do take care of myself.

But some people do it to feel better about themselves. Maybe it's something they like to do for people.

Haha the amount of times I’ve looked at myself in the mirror before going out and thought I looked nice and then seen a photo of myself later on and realised, no, no I didn’t 😂😂😂
still, at least I had a great time!

Me every time!

only my partner, who finds me so ridiculously attractive that I’m starting to think there’s something wrong with him 🤣🤣

something I struggle with is comments about my daughter looking like me. I think she’s beautiful, absolutely perfect (obviously!)
other people have said she’s a pretty girl, etc etc.
and then they have commented that they’ve never seen a child look so much like their mum! It baffles me, as she’s got a beauty (to me) that I could only dream of.

Even my own mother doesn't think I'm pretty but I think I have an unconventional attractiveness in real life, and I know I have a confident energy and a personality that people are drawn to. I look bloody awful in photographs though.

I've no idea. I mean when you look in the mirror it's the opposite way round to how you actually look.
If you look in a mirror with someone else who you're very familiar with, when you look at their reflection often they look quite different.
But I'd like to think people find eachother appealing based on their personality and character and the vibes they give off.

It's highly subjective.

Specially on sexual attraction, there is a man in my team at work who is objectively very good looking, young, tall, thick hair etc but I am not attracted to him at all.

The one I am attracted to is older, average looking, on the short side but also fit and well groomed, sense of humour. I guess I'd put it at 50% personal preference and 50% charisma?

I’ve never ever seen such a thing, they always look the same,

My daughter is exactly the same ! She looks very unique !
And everyone says she is the absolute double of me !
I have never thought I was conventionally beautiful but people have described me as being attractive and unique ! I don't personally see it tbh I am pretty confident thou ! And dress really well I often get compliments on the way I dress !

It's hard to say but lots of women who are regarded as iconic or classic beauties say they always felt themselves to be ugly so I think it is probably true. I think lots of women and probably men too look in the mirror and only see what they feel are flaws as opposed to the harmonious whole. I won't name names but I can think of a few famous beautiful women who have essentially destroyed their naturally beautiful faces to correct that they probably felt where unfortunate defects in their appearance.

I saw Emily Watson in Apple Tree Yard on BBC iPlayer (sadly no longer available, but you can get it elsewhere) and was struck by how her slow blink enhanced her face. I thought at the time ' how sad that she would not be able to see that striking point of beauty herself'.

Even though their face is in reverse? The left is on the right? If someone has a very symmetrical face it probably doesn't make much difference. But I notice it quite a lot with some people.

No I’m pretty much the opposite. I have what you have called neat features (symmetrical, small, feminine features, clear skin) and nobody except my husband has complimented me since I was a teenager really.

I don’t think I have that joie de vivre that some women do. Nor do I have a sweetness or innocence or a simmering sexuality. I have a friend who men flock to like moths to a flame where they never have to me. They’ve always actually somewhat avoided me. As I’ve aged I’ve lost the cheekiness that I think made me somewhat charming in youth. So now I’m traditionally good looking, but serious and quieter and ordinary.

The only people who do flock to me are gay men. Who seem to love me for some reason. Thankfully I often prefer their company too.

I dont think so.
I think I'm fugly and im fairly sure the world agrees.

No, they still look like them.

Yes of course they look like them. Just with their features the other way round!

I quite like my face and strangers have told me I’m ‘striking’ but I think that’s more to do with the fact I’m tall and muscular and ‘striking’ is more polite than ‘manly’ 😂

I’m more than ok with being strong AF with muscles tho.

So interesting to read the replies. I have got very blonde hair and when at my best am tall and slim so give the impression of being more attractive than in reality I am. I have a friend who is gorgeous and sexy in real life with bouncy hair and glowing skin and in a photo she looks terrible so who knows …

I am answering this purely so you don’t feel invisible on here, @FairKoala!

Are you very quietly spoken? I know sometimes when I speak people don’t seem to register me at all. I don’t even think I am very quietly spoken!

I’m like this with photos, but then recently saw some video of myself and realised I looked good in that. Some of us just don’t look our best in the photographs.

I think a lot of us develop our sense of how attractive we are in our teenage years. I was taller than most of the boys between 12 -14 and didn’t get ‘chatted up’ so assumed I was inferior to the petite girls. Maybe I was a bit of an ugly duckling but by the time boys had caught up in height and overtaken me, I started getting attention. By that time it was too late- I had already formed the idea of how attractive I was and where I should fit in. If an attractive boy spoke to me I found it odd. I only liked quirky looking boys as a result. I remember seeing photos of myself and thinking I was photogenic as I knew I wasn’t that attractive in real life. I also didn’t even register any of the comments people made about how attractive I was- not even from my best friends. It was only until I hit my 30s that I actually clocked that I had been hearing those comments for years and worked out I was considered to be attractive. It’s funny how our teenage years can shape us as adults

No. Quite the opposite. I like my face. I like my long nose and sharp features. I like my freckles. I am very fond of my face. However I have been told unprompted many times that I'm not attractive (by my parents, ex-husband, even teachers when I was at school 🤷🏼)

Hasn't changed my opinion of myself. My children think I'm beautiful, and others people's opinions of me are none of my business.

To me, someone can be attractive because of their personality, their confidence, the way they are dressed, how they hold themselves and their humour. There are lots of attractive people around.

People do tell me I am attractive, I look nice etc. These days it’s with the qualifier of “for your age”. But only when I make the effort ie weddings, parties. I think it’s because they are used to seeing ordinary me and are surprised that I can scrub up well. I try not to think about the way I look too much, I have so many hang ups it’s untrue.