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Original poster

Help with funeral outfit but colours

32 replies

EducatingArti · 25/04/2025 22:10

I would like to ask for your advice. I'm going to a funeral but the dress code is to not wear black/sombre colours.

I am a "Spring" colouring, short and size 16 ish. Big boobs and tummy but I do have a bit of a waist. I think I suit clothes that do make something of the waist but I'm quite high waisted. Wrap tops usually work well.

Any thoughts or ideas?

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mdinbc · 25/04/2025 22:16

Do you have office wear? Any nice dress or trousers and top will do. As long as you look presentable, as in no jeans or scruffiness, you will be fine. I find funerals are not as formal as they once were.

I think the last church funeral I went to was the same request, so I wore a lilac coloured blazer with navy trousers.

Bathroomscales · 25/04/2025 22:25

My DF's funeral was last week and I requested not black, some of the older men wore black suits but all the women were in every colour under the sun, it was nice. They honestly just looked like a church full of normally clothed every day people. No jeans though.

Original poster
EducatingArti · 25/04/2025 22:28

I don't have much office wear and I'm wondering about getting something new as it is quite a "special" funeral rather than someone I didn't know too well.

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Original poster
EducatingArti · 26/04/2025 07:45

I mostly live in elasticated waist trousers and t shirts. I do have a couple of skirts and dresses but I'm not sure anything feels quite right.

I was wondering if anyone could point me to anything that might suit?

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PrimevalStomp · 26/04/2025 09:12

My condolences, @EducatingArti

Do you have a budget? And beyond a wrap top can you say what you’d like to be wearing? A long or short skirt? Wide or narrow trousers? Plain or patterned? Or would you prefer a dress? Are you assuming the clothes will be incorporated into your wardrobe afterwards?

Original poster
EducatingArti · 26/04/2025 09:58

Thank you for your condolences.

Open to either a dress, skirt or smart trousers. Trousers need to be with some elastication and could be a range of widths but I'm guessing not either ultra wide or ultra narrow. Front pleated trousers don't really suit me.

Skirt/dress needs to be below knee but not maxi ( I am only 5'1")

I'm also open to plain or patterned but I don't like animal print.

Did I say that I have absolutely no idea what to get!

Ideally it would integrate with my wardrobe afterwards but I'm also mindful that the dress I wore to my dad's funeral just stayed forever in my wardrobe until I got rid of it as I couldn't bear to wear it again!

Low to medium budget

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24Dogcuddler · 26/04/2025 10:17

I’d have a browse on Live Unlimited Whitestuff or Roman. Lots of sites do good Petite ranges now. Debenhams, Tu, Next and M and S all stock lots of brands. If you filter your requirements re your colours, size and style something will jump out at you.
Sorry for your loss.

Original poster
EducatingArti · 26/04/2025 12:43

Thank you both for your thoughts.

I do really like some of the palava dress shapes and colours but I think the fabric designs are too playful for a funeral.

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Original poster
EducatingArti · 26/04/2025 13:03

It is actually for my mum's funeral so I will be more of the centre of attention than I would like and it would be nice to look as good as I can, but I'm not sleeping properly right now, have no idea what I really want and feel too exhausted to think about it that hard,!

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DelphiniumBlue · 26/04/2025 13:10

I had this Snag dress in black, it’s really flattering and you can adjust it with the ties or put a cami underneath. I think the green is very pretty but not too bright.

Jasmin - Size C

Ottoman Wrap Around Dress - Petit Pois

💖 Buy Ottoman Wrap Around Dress - Petit Pois right now at Snag. ✓ Multi-buy Discounts ✓ Free Delivery Over £70 ✓ Ethical, Comfortable Tights That Really Fit!

https://snagtights.com/products/ottoman-wrap-around-dress-petit-pois

PrimevalStomp · 26/04/2025 14:07

I’m so sorry, @EducatingArti - it must be very hard to think about anything right now.

This is waisted and plain. Navy blue. (Assuming you don’t want the bright pink.) Size 44 is a 16:

https://www.cos.com/en-gb/women/womenswear/dresses/mididresses/product/puff-sleeve-midi-dress-navy-1167931001

mdinbc · 26/04/2025 22:16

Aw, I'm sorry for your loss. Since it is your mum, and you will be getting attention, I would suggest something blue or green or lilac if you can find it.
This boden dress is simple enough, but not overly colourful. They have quite a few nice dresses.

global.boden.com/products/eden-broderie-jersey-dress-promenade-green

Original poster
EducatingArti · 27/04/2025 10:30

I love that Boden dress but unfortunately it isn't available in my size!

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Original poster
EducatingArti · 27/04/2025 10:33

The amount of " colourful" can be whatever I feel I can handle. Mum was mad about the "Colour me Beautiful " type seasons to work out to colours that suit you and would tell anyone about it who would listen so we are asking people to come in any colours that suit them and they feel good in!

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Allthegoodhorses · 27/04/2025 10:36

Just seen that the L is out of stock, the XL might work, it is just like a big T shirt really so not sure the size matters too much.

RosesAndHellebores · 27/04/2025 10:38

I think I'd be minded to nip to M&S, buy the dress I liked best and send it to the charity shop afterwards. I don't think I could wear it again.

Hoppinggreen · 27/04/2025 10:39

I am sorry for your loss.
For my Mums funeral last year I suggested "a splash of colour" if people wanted to.
The men generally all wore dark suits or shirts with a bright tie and I wore a black dress I already had but with a purple patterned scarf of my Mums and a purple handbag. My SIL wore a lovely green dress and DD wore a black dress but with red accessories.

Ffswtf · 27/04/2025 10:41

Sorry for your loss OP 💐
Is there anything in your wardrobe you could incorporate, then add a jacket or cardigan? Just suggesting so that you feel comfortable in your clothes at least, it's a hard enough day.
Big hugs

Original poster
EducatingArti · 27/04/2025 10:41

Thank you for all your suggestions

I meant to add, I am "Spring" colours and need a petite size 16 ( or something where the length still works when you are just over 5')

I just have limited energy to go and shop and whatever energy I have is being used on all the million and one bits of admin that needs doing after someone dies. We still haven't told all mum's friends about it!

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PrimevalStomp · 27/04/2025 10:47

The last funeral I attended was on another continent. I took black clothes, but only I and a couple of other people were somberly attired. Everyone else was extravagantly and grandly colourful.

It’s good you’re not having to deal with everything entirely alone, @EducatingArti.

Original poster
EducatingArti · 27/04/2025 10:50

Oh and I have a 36 G bust so find it hard to get stuff that stretches over bust without pulling but still fits on shoulders. I tend to go for a lot of jersey for this reason but would like to be smart on the day!

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