Party wear

[MiddleAgedDread]

been shopping tonight and I could cry!! What on earth is appropriate for a birthday party of a colleague? Milestone birthday in a function room of a slightly glitzy bar. I’m late 40’s and a size 12 but don’t really have anything to wear. Can’t wear work dresses because it’s with work people. Everything in the shops is stupidly big sleeves or a shed load of sequins which just isn’t my style! The only dress I liked was £279 so didn’t make it to the changing rooms and looking at it on the website I’m not even sure I like it that much www.johnlewis.com/lauren-ralph-lauren-kishra-floral-dress-black-multi/p112313079

Bare with me here but I was looking for Christmas party outfits today and somehow ended up on river island! There was so much stuff I liked and really reasonable price wise. I can’t believe it I haven’t shopped there in years and wouldn’t even bother popping inif I was wondering around the shops. There’s a lovely olive halter jumpsuit which would dress up / down easily. I’m really surprised!

I’ve linked the jumpsuit but have a look at everything in occasion partywear loads looks great
https://www.riverisland.com/p/green-velvet-halter-neck-jumpsuit-917000

I personally think the original dress you’ve linked is aging - something my mid 60s mum would wear not 40s!

www.monsoon.co.uk/joanna-floral-lace-midi-tea-dress-green-20001400008.html

www.monsoon.co.uk/rosa-maxi-dress-black-20000990001.html

www.monsoon.co.uk/sarah-embellished-wrap-dress--blue-5408060125.html

www.warehousefashion.com/product/principles-ruched-detail-metallic-jersey-midi-dress_pdd11404?colour=black

www.warehousefashion.com/product/coast-high-neck-midi-dress-with-floral-embroidery_bcc07028?colour=black

www.warehousefashion.com/product/coast-stripe-organza-midi-dress_bcc06776?colour=navy

Im a big fan of the black jumpsuit. Works for all occasions I find!

I had a jumpsuit for a wedding party once but it took a lot of finding to get one to fit! My weight is all round my middle and hips and a lot were too short in the body on
me. It also a pain in the arse to go to the loo in!!

I love this!!

This is a cheaper alternative of the dress that you liked

tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/product/tuc144579040

@MavisTheMonkey thanks, I’ll try Sainsburys one evening!

Sincere thanks for this - I have a client dinner plus a couple of work Christmas things and a family get together to go to so if it fits it'll be ideal, and will go perfectly with my Tracy Neuls boots.

I've been wearing the same couple of dresses for these for years so I've ordered it to try; I can stand a bit of polyester if it's not too tight, especially when it's 40% off 😀

Have you looked at dresses from apricot? Or satin tops from h and m?

Anything in the online Sienna Miller x M and S edit? www.marksandspencer.com/l/women/mands-sienna-miller#intid=gnav_women_newin_mands_x_sienna_miller

Never heard of Apricot. I looked in H&M but nothing took me fancy, it all looked screwed up and very short!

Very definitely no! Things that look great on 6ft tall size 6 models but less so on menopausal bellied women!

I think part of your issue is that you are only physically looking in store.

Whilst it's great to be able to see it and try it on instantly, I now think it's counteracted by the fact stores have a very limited range vs online. My local M&S has nothing that appeals to me but I've bought quite a few bits online that I love.

As you are looking for something specific you might want to consider online ordering as well as high street shopping.

@MavisTheMonkey i was trying to look online but there’s so much to wade through and I need it for weekend so don’t have much time either! I really need to try things on as at least 2/3rd of what I order online gets sent back.

I am menopausal and have a tummy, mind you am about 5 9”, and I have the red dress, in a large ish size 🙂

@Gunnersforthecup this one? Satin Ruched-Detail Maxi Dress | M&S X SIENNA MILLER | M&S
I think that's too fancy for where I'm going and NO BRA!!!

If you are comfortable in shirt dresses, see if you can find a more luxurious material one ie velvety and dress it a a bit with jewellery and maybe fun shoes.
If you are happier in skinnies, find a dressier top and or jewellery you can wear with those. Maybe even some moleskin/velvet type trousers!
Good luck and really feel for you!

So why don’t you just wear something you already own but style it more dressy?

Ditch the tights and boots, wear some nice heels, put some lipstick on and some statement earrings.

Its actually very easy to appear dressy if you’re usually super casual.

Because I don’t have lipstick and statement earrings, I just don’t dress like that, it’s not me at all! And I don’t already own something appropriate to style up. I’ve loads of dresses but I either wear them for work all the time or they’re too summery for this time of year. Even if I bought some black jeans and a “nice top” I don’t know what I’d wear on my feet. Argggghhhhh!!

But you’ve been shopping so you’re clearly happy to buy something new, I’m just saying the new thing doesn’t have to be the dress if you’ve already got ones got like.
If your concern is looking slightly smarter and dressier than normal then another dress but styled the same with tights and boots isn’t going to do it.

If you’ve got jeans and a nice top then look for some formal shoes. Lots of places have modest heel heights at the minute which is great if you’re not into high high heels. A lower heel pointed sling back or something would dress up the outfit. Something in velvet or with a bow on the front, you can even get shoe clips. A fairly basic outfit with special shoes is fail proof!
Order some jazzy earrings and you’re sorted.

I don't like jazzy earings though, they make me look like Pat Butcher! And there's a reason I live in boots and trainers, my feet don't do slingbacks and heels, I have 2 pairs of patent mary jane type heels in black and navy and that's it, every other pair of heels i've ever owned has gone on Vinted because I couldn't keep them on my feet. I don't even have a nice top to wear with jeans. I might have to call off sick.

No offence OP but you don't seem to be very receptive to any suggestions, not sure what you're looking for by posting here.

Why not wear a nice pair of boots then? With either a dress or a pair of jeans.

I was hoping some suggestions but seemingly I’m just not stylish enough to like anything that’s been suggested but everyone seems intent on dressing me up like a blooming disco ball!

Well just wear jeans and trainers then? For god sake what are you here for? It’s fair enough that some things aren’t your style but you’ve had a large number of suggestions from all angles by countless posters and you’re just moaning at them all.

Honestly if your reaction is just to complain and then jump to pulling a sicky then just don’t go, no one wants a moaner at a party.