Party wear

[MiddleAgedDread]

been shopping tonight and I could cry!! What on earth is appropriate for a birthday party of a colleague? Milestone birthday in a function room of a slightly glitzy bar. I’m late 40’s and a size 12 but don’t really have anything to wear. Can’t wear work dresses because it’s with work people. Everything in the shops is stupidly big sleeves or a shed load of sequins which just isn’t my style! The only dress I liked was £279 so didn’t make it to the changing rooms and looking at it on the website I’m not even sure I like it that much www.johnlewis.com/lauren-ralph-lauren-kishra-floral-dress-black-multi/p112313079

Do you have a good friend that you could take shopping with you?

You have been offered various suggestions on here from dresses to jumpsuits to jeans and you've had a problem with every suggestion and why it won't work.

I wonder if perhaps the issue is your self-esteem. You seem to have put yourself into a very small box and decided you can't wear a lot of things because of a menopausal tummy or because they won't suit you. Maybe having a friend who you trust accompany you would give you a bit of reassurance and a confidence boost. I'm sure plenty of things look good on you but you've written a lot of things off before even trying them.

Or do you subconsciously not want to go to this party and you're using lack of outfit as an excuse?

You've had lots of suggestions in a variety of different styles, certainly not all intent on dressing you up like a disco ball.

Agree with above poster that your self-esteem is the issue here, or that you just don't want to go.

@Illpickthatup well maybe it is but I’m just not used to wearing these sort of clothes because I don’t have any need to usually. I do want to go, I just don’t know what to wear!

@MiddleAgedDread I suspect you’re playing with us …

If you don’t actually want clothes to dress up in why start a thread?

Good luck with whatever you’re hoping for.

I’m not, I want clothes to dress up in just not to the extent of most of what’s been suggested! My level of dressing up is clearly quite different to other people’s. I like the Zara dress suggested.

Take a friend with you then or go to a shop with a personal stylist. This is unlikely to be the last occasion you'll need to dress up for so it would be good to get some pointers for future reference too.

It's amazing what a bit of encouragement from someone else can do. We often see ourselves in a different light to how others see us. And a good pair of spanx underwear works wonders as well.

The Zara dress is lovely. You could easily wear it with flat or low-heel boots, if that's what you feel comfortable in. (most people don't look at your feet anyway – can you remember what shoes anyone was wearing at the last social event you went to?)

Then all you need is a bit of jewellery (hoop earrings, say, or a silver/gold chain), and some lipstick or tinted lip balm (Burt's Bees is nice), and you're all set.

Exactly. I wear boots with everything in the winter. Jeans, dresses, mini skirts, long satin skirts, tights, no tights. I have a lovely pair of knee high Hobbs boots that go with everything!

I’ve ordered the Zara dress and another one and a couple of crew.

Oliver Bonas have lots of metallic boots to wear:-

www.oliverbonas.com/accessories/shoes/womens-boots www.oliverbonas.com/accessories/shoes/womens-boots]]]]

I got some silver ones one year.

I like the Zara dress too and you can wear it more than once.

I literally have no words

Halloween was last week.

This is surely some sort of weird bot advert.

OP, there is a lovely jumpsuit on Oliver Bonas which I think has a great balance of party but understated.

https://www.oliverbonas.com/fashion/black-velvet-metallic-spotty-jumpsuit-372160#selection.color=14

You could wear this over and again and with boots, flats, low heels. I know you discounted jumpsuits, but they are really very good for good reasons!

I’m going out to night to a wine tasting event in a swanky venue, I’m wearing black trousers from Roman that have an elasticated waist and are in a slightly slinky material and a black and green blouse also from Roman. I have a really nice green bag to and black suede ankle boots. I too am a jogging bottoms girl.

Boots! Good boots are your friend - from a fellow menopausal woman. I even bought a suede beigey slightly cowboy pair to wear in what passes as summer in these parts with summer dresses.

If you get the right pair of black suede ankle or knee high boots - flat or with block heel they make everything you wear look good. Comfort and style - the holy grail. I bought mine in Clarks a few seasons back but if you google you’ll find some. You need a nice shape mind.

This velvet dress has a bit of ruching to flatter a tum..

https://www.frenchconnection.com/products/viola-velvet-long-sleeve-bodycon-mini-dress-forest

It doesn’t look like much but the Phase Eight Becca dress is very flattering on lots of body shapes and isn’t as short as this pic on the model suggests. Wear with black tights and ankle boots and chunky necklace or earrings.

https://www.phase-eight.com/product/becca-batwing-knitted-dress-222442258.html#q=Becca&is=true&sz=60&start=0&isSecondPage=false&pid=222442258&pos=10

www.sezane.com/en/product/eloane-skirt/maple#size-6

This skirt is gorgeous and can be dressed up or down.

Try george some beautiful things in

https://www.next.co.uk/style/st954446/m46232#m46232

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su091017/n60012#N60012?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organicshopping

with your black patent shoes.

I don't think @MiddleAgedDread's been negative or unhelpful. She liked the Zara dress - a straightforward style with some ease and movement - and a couple of georgette shirt dresses. These seem like natural choices, going by what she told us about herself.

OP, your first few posts made me think of my sports teachers at school (in my head, they were all called Val, but they can't have been ... can they?!) Some were pretty, 'feminine' women yet they would all have looked like they were in drag if they'd worn shiny, frilly dresses. There's a kind of very grounded physicality that requires clothes to work with the body, not embellish it.

Sorry if my last paragraph is a million miles off the mark; I'm just rambling in my head! My point is only that you HAVE said what you want, so ignore the negative Nellies!

Easy, multipurpose and reduced to £30 (black or cream)
https://www.nobodyschild.com/products/black-satin-jacquard-selma-midi-dress

Go down at least one size if you decide to try it.

Do you like your legs? They have lots of different corduroy pinafores. Wear with a see-through or shiny (😮) top underneath.

https://www.nobodyschild.com/products/dark-green-embroidered-cord-floral-boston-mini-dress-d241875grn