Please help me I’m having a hair freak out!

[MoSalahsBeard]

I’ve struggled a lot with body dysmorphia over the years and I’m trying and failing to accept my curly hair. If I straighten or blow dry it it goes curly again the second any damp air hits it- and seeing as we live in Britain I have no chance. It’s a bit shorter than I would normally like right now. Please tell me, do I look awful? I can’t stop worrying and it’s taking over my entire life.

I think you have nice curls!

Your hair is really pretty and the cut very chic!

Don’t understand why you would want to straighten it?

My sister made comments about my hair. Somehow over the years I became paranoid my curls look awful. I used to wear it like this all the time but these days I feel like an ugly troll who should go back to hiding under a bridge! When I’ve worried about my hair my husband has encouraged me to straighten it- he was well-meaning but made me even more paranoid.

Your hair is beautiful and I know many women will be envious of your waves and curls.

I'm a fellow curly and I've finally learnt to embrace them this year (I'm in my early 50's!). It's been so much easier to maintain and my hair is very healthy now even though I bleach it regularly with highlights. I get compliments all the time for it (genuinely at least 3 times a week) which I'm enjoying because I very rarely got compliments when I was frying my hair with straightening treatments and hot straightening irons. And so much less hassle. And I've learnt that I actually don't mind the rain as curly hair needs moisture and my curls reform well after they have got wet. Even my adult DC say I look surfer chic (not sure what that means but I will own it).

When you can find the strength look yourself in the eye in the mirror and tell yourself that you are beautiful as you are and mean it. In my worst days of my depression phases I can't look at myself at all as a whole person, only at one feature of my face at a time. People who suffer similarly will know what I mean. I think I kind of know what you are going through at the moment. Please look after you by only say gentle kind words when you look at yourself.

Well personally I find the English obsession with poker straight hair rather odd! Obviously it sells a lot of hair tools but it really doesn’t suit most people’s faces - there’s no nuance or consideration of face shape.

May sound ridiculous but it’s always a relief, when travelling in Europe or further afield, to encounter so many more people with their own naturally curly hair, and shorter hairstyles. The women look so chic and far more individual than all the ironed curtain hair here. (No disrespect to people who like their hair like that!)

Honestly - your lovely hair is one thing you really should not be worrying about.

Your hair is beautiful! It looks thick and healthy and your curls are very natural looking. Honestly if I was you I'd be considering it an asset!

I know exactly what you mean about only seeing one bit of yourself. It’s like I can’t think straight. I can’t take in my full appearance in the mirror, and don’t get me started on teams calls at work. I’ve felt like this for years and years. I looked at a photo album from 10 years ago the other day and I realised that I always looked pretty nice. I remember at the time how I felt and constantly worrying all day.

I have similar hair, a tiny bit longer. I like my hair and I think yours is even nicer. I don't straighten mine.

Gorgeous! That's what I wished mine looked like - mine is similar length but kinked instead of curled.

Stand in front of that mirror and say to yourself "I do declare, I love my hair!".

Then forgive yourself for years of self doubt "I'm sorry to my previous self".

Then back to "I do declare, I love my hair!"

I think it looks very good and nicely styled, I’m surprised you’re so worked up about it! If I was sat with you on a teams meeting I’d probably think ‘ugh Sallys done her hair this morning and mines just pulled into a bun’

Aww thank you for the encouragement. It’s made me feel a bit better today.

I have the exact opposite problem. My hair is flat and straight. If I use heat to curl it for a night out all the curls fall out after a couple of hours, so all the fiddly work with heated curlers or tongs is totally wasted.

I'd love to have natural waves and curls like you!

I used a colour remover on my hair and it did nothing for the colour but totally took away all my curls! It wasn’t until they went that I realised I liked them 😂. I’ve cut lots of hair off in a bid to get rid of the most damaged hair and bring back the curl. Actually considering a pixie to start from scratch and appreciate my natural colour AND curl!

Yours looks beautiful. A little longer would be nice too, and maybe some highlights to bring out the curls more. Don’t feel bad about them for one minute!

I love your hair, and I also love your jumper/ cardigan. I like your style 🙂
Please get help if this anxiety is causing you distress

Gosh, my hair is a bit wavy and very frizzy and I just wish it looked like yours!

@KomproMatilda

I’ve always thought it was the opposite!! In the UK (for all the generations of women in my family I’ve seen photos of), they’ve always had a perm, or put their hair in rollers, or used tongs. There was a brief period in the late 90/00s when straight hair was cool (even the boys did it), then it went back to big curls, then waves, then waves with straight ends. The market is saturated with implements to curl your hair!

OP - people pay a lot of money to have curly hair, or spend a lot of time trying to curl it (only for it to fall out if anything like my hair!), I would embrace it!!

In a sea of long straight all blonde hair yours is a breath of fresh air, it is beautiful.
Do yourself a big favour, stop listening to the negative comments of others and trust yourself to know what you like and what you are happy with.

You have good hair
better than mine which does have a certain wave to it and on rainy/damp days I get an awful frizz, but could never get proper curls

I envy your curls, I bet your sister does too!

They look great and the cut is cute!

I get it. I'm really paranoid over my hair sometimes (it's curly) and rarely wear it down
Just had a lovely curly cut but it'll still be tied up as I'm worried about how it looks and comments about messy frizzy hair

Your hair is fantastic

Your hair and style/vibe is lovely.

I have always wanted curls. I have the straightest hair you've ever seen.
Embrace them!

I’m very jealous of your hair!