Breaking Up with Hairdresser

[Alfixnm]

Hi all, I live in a small town/rural area and have been seeing the same hair dresser since I moved here 6 or 7 years ago.

I've never been hugely happy with her. But my hair needs are pretty simple - colour and a simple chop every now and again, hard to get wrong - so I kept going back for a few reasons; she is flexible on hours; I'm a confrontation-avoiding people pleaser; and I feel a bit guilty at the thought of her losing business, from a "supporting women in small business" point of view.

But honestly, her work is quite lazy and sloppy; she gets dye all over my forehead and never removes it all - I have to scrub when I get home but ultimately just live with dye in my face for a few days every time until it fades. She often ignores what I ask for and does her own thing, without discussing it. I suspect she overcharges me sometimes because she knows I can afford it; her prices seem to change with the wind.

Her personality makes me a bit uncomfortable too. I get the feeling she's a bit of a judgemental/negative person in general and just not the type of person I would be friends with. She blanks me if I meet her out and about (she definitely knows who I am!). Just mean girl vibes.

And the final straw is, I just got home to see that the cut she gave me (completely simple, straight-across-the-bottom cut, straight hair) is TERRIBLE. Completely uneven; there are actual blunt chunks in one or two places. It is actually shocking; I can't believe she let me out the door like that.

That's the final straw for me. I'm done with her - I'm finally done.

The only thing is, I HATE confrontation. (That's half the reason I've stuck with her for so long!)

My question is; is it OK if I just don't make another appointment?
Or do I have to actually tell her that I'm not coming back? Eek. She's not the most forgiving type and either way I know she's going to take it personally and hate me from now on.

God, I've read this back and I'm such a door mat!!

No confrontation needed, just book elsewhere next time!

Just go elsewhere. No need to say anything to her.

I went to the same salon for over 3 years until last December when they gave me a wonky cut, then took about 2 inches off trying to fix it until it was up around my ears from shoulder length. I went from easy ponytail to not a hope and it's only the last few weeks that I've been able to tie it up again without loads of clips.

The manager gave me a refund and stressed that they didn't want to lose me as a customer - I took the money and haven't been back since.

You're not obliged to go there - sounds like the stylist isn't going to bump into you and confront you about it if she blanks you already.

No need to say anything, just book elsewhere. I have been going to the person for years and get the exact same thing done each times but I still get a proper consultation each time.

You don't owe her anything. It's a business arrangement and it's not meeting your needs. Having a crap haircut makes you feel crap. I've made the same decision about my hairdresser. Like you it became a dilemma for me but I came to see that I shouldn't put her feelings above my own. My hairdresser is slap dash and my last two cuts have been wonky. I've booked someone else and I'm so relieved at the thought of getting a decent cut and not struggling with my hair. (That's what I'm hoping for!)

Thanks for the replies. The other thing is - sometimes she texts asking if I'd like an appointment; I'm guessing I should just not reply??

I had my next appointment booked before I left the salon; I've just texted to say I realised I can't make that date and I'll get back to her.... I know she'll text me at some point asking if I want to rebook!

Yes honestly I feel kind of relieved now that I've finally made the decision to go elsewhere. And really looking forward to getting a new stylist!

Don't reply to her text or reply saying I'll let you know and just go elsewhere. She'll soon get the message.

Yes, if she texts again just put something bland on in reply.

Just block the number. Jobs a good un.

I recently broke up with Tony and his mate Guy and took myself somewhere else to wash them right out of my hair

I did this too. I rang up to cancel the appointment. When they asked me to rebook I said, "I'm taking a break from the salon as I'm growing my hair. I'll be in touch when I need an appointment." That kept it on a nice finish.

A few months later I went elsewhere. I told myself to never feel pressured, to rebook at the end of the appointment. I always say, " I'll ring in, to rebook". Then go home to look at my hair properly, if I like it, I'll call back to rebook.

Just ignore any texts

Great comment.

Take a pic of the dodgy wonky cut line and send it with a "no thanks! And a passive aggressive smiley face

Nah actually just reply "no thanks" and that's that. Stop angsting. She's just another human amongst 7 billion. So what.

Why an earth would you even need to post on here about this? Of course you shouldn't go back, nor feel guilty going elsewhere! When she texts, I'd just say the same as another poster 'I'm growing it out, or I'm fine for the moment thanks' and leave it.

Are you concerned you'll see her in the village? If you do see her, I'd have a polite 'oh how are things, how are you etc' but not mention your hair or where you are going now. None of her business.

I had a regular salon for a while. I had highlights put in- but the girl overcooked it and when the foils were removed- the hair came out with them!!! She didn't tell me at the time or admit it! She also cocked up the colour and my hair came out bright purple- which then needed a yellow toner! The who thing was a disaster and I never went back. Why would I?

As a result, I have boxed dyed at home every since and am very pleased with the result, vastly reduced cost and less time waiting hours and hours in salon chairs!

I would also take a photo of the bad haircut. You may never use it- but handy to have evidence if she does push for a reason as to why you dont go back.

I've found it hard to find a hairdresser with availability since Covid so if she's chasing your custom then she's obviously needing clients- which says a lot!
You're a customer not her friend, you owe her no explanation or loyalty. Just block her number and blank her like she blanks you if you see her.

I’ve broken up with a long term hairdresser who was okay when I had long hair but mediocre when I got it cut short. Unfortunately a relative uses the salon and they keep asking when I’m coming back.

Disadvantage of being in a rural area I suppose. I now travel to nearest city

Whenever I can be bothered. DH has been known to use clippers when I cba

You're too kind.

Don't rebook and block her number.

I broke up with my hairdresser in February after she did a terrible hair colour. I was going to her for 5 years but gradually started being unhappy with my hair. I booked somewhere else and very happy with my hair now. I do feel a bit guilty though.

I think just go somewhere else. I've had several rubbish cuts lately and each time left feeling like the hairdresser didn't care so I just didn't go back.

Or do I have to actually tell her that I'm not coming back?

No. I often dump hairdressers. I'm very clear with what I want and I tip very well. If they don't listen they get ditched.

Book somewhere else ASAP though to sort out what sounds like a mess.

I LOVE my hairdresser, she is lovely, we get on well and have good conversations and she is brilliant with my hair. Honestly, I really look forward to my appointments with her and they are the highlight of my month (or every few months!)
If you don't feel the same you should definitely find someone else- a good hairdresser is like gold, a wonderful thing indeed. I hope you find the right one!