Breaking Up with Hairdresser

[Alfixnm]

Hi all, I live in a small town/rural area and have been seeing the same hair dresser since I moved here 6 or 7 years ago.

I've never been hugely happy with her. But my hair needs are pretty simple - colour and a simple chop every now and again, hard to get wrong - so I kept going back for a few reasons; she is flexible on hours; I'm a confrontation-avoiding people pleaser; and I feel a bit guilty at the thought of her losing business, from a "supporting women in small business" point of view.

But honestly, her work is quite lazy and sloppy; she gets dye all over my forehead and never removes it all - I have to scrub when I get home but ultimately just live with dye in my face for a few days every time until it fades. She often ignores what I ask for and does her own thing, without discussing it. I suspect she overcharges me sometimes because she knows I can afford it; her prices seem to change with the wind.

Her personality makes me a bit uncomfortable too. I get the feeling she's a bit of a judgemental/negative person in general and just not the type of person I would be friends with. She blanks me if I meet her out and about (she definitely knows who I am!). Just mean girl vibes.

And the final straw is, I just got home to see that the cut she gave me (completely simple, straight-across-the-bottom cut, straight hair) is TERRIBLE. Completely uneven; there are actual blunt chunks in one or two places. It is actually shocking; I can't believe she let me out the door like that.

That's the final straw for me. I'm done with her - I'm finally done.

The only thing is, I HATE confrontation. (That's half the reason I've stuck with her for so long!)

My question is; is it OK if I just don't make another appointment?
Or do I have to actually tell her that I'm not coming back? Eek. She's not the most forgiving type and either way I know she's going to take it personally and hate me from now on.

God, I've read this back and I'm such a door mat!!

I can see why you're wanting to think it through, it looks like she will be contacting you and you do live in a small village. I do too, and breaking up with our irresponsible window cleaner was similarly awkward. I had been increasingly unhappy, not so much with the quality of his work, but his sheer inability to stick to a plan. We both worked out of the home and had to be in for him to access the back, and he wouldn't show and wouldn't message so we'd be left chasing it up. Then the pandemic happened and at first he lost a lot of business, and he offered to do any odd jobs, so we lined him up with some tasks and it was all just so much hassle and mess and he wouldn't show for months and months. In the end as he was leaving one day I just let him that we were making some changes as we we're home now and wouldn't need a cleaner. Turns out he also did not want confrontation and just said OK. He did message a few months later to ask if we needed a cleaner and I said we don't.

My guy was a nice person, your lady you say has those mean girl vibes. You might need to steel yourself, but to be honest from what you say about the service she gives you I don't think she's trying to impress you, she certaibly doesn't like you, and if anything she may be actually quite mean and think she can walk all over you, so this change from you might be quite a surprise to her.

Yes.. I think you're right.

Why would OP need evidence? The OP has no obligation to explain her decision.

Evidence. Christ.

I know how you feel, I get anxious over stuff like that. Just never contact her again and if you bump into her - blank her, like she does you.

X

You are overthinking this. You are a customer, and you are not happy with the experience you have had. So you’re taking your custom elsewhere to get a better experience. You are free to do that. She might not like it but it’s business. Her reminder emails are a common tactic all businesses use and you are not obliged to reply or act on them. If you get asked if you want an appointment you can ignore it. I have changed hairdressers in a small area too, it’s fine and if she takes it personally then she is not a good business person, as she isn’t thinking about her customer’s views enough and changing things so it’s better for them, which would be better for her business.

I get where you’re coming from, in my 20s I agonised about dumping my incompetent first driving instructor ( he treated my lessons as his therapy sessions and just unloaded all his issues on me, I work for the NHS and am always in listening mode). After 35 lessons I realised I was getting nowhere . I actually wrote him a “ dear John”. Of course, I bumped into him in the street shortly afterwards, he blanked me. I got an excellent ( woman) instructor after him and passed my test. These days though I’d walk away a lot quicker, life’s too short.

You just don't go back. I've done it. It's not even like it sounds like you have great rapport with her. Just ignore text l, it's business not a friendship. The only thing I'd worry about is bumping into her if you live near each other or her spotting you through the salon window but not in so much to put up with shoddy haircuts.

She's crap at her job and unfriendly. Of course you should block her number - you don't owe her a living!
I doubt she'll say anything but if she goes then I think you should be brave and politely tell her the truth - that she leaves dye all over your skin and hasn't done a good enough job for the money. She gets away with this because people are generally too polite to say anything, but this is your money - she isn't doing you a favour!

Thanks for this, OP. The details are different but the vibe is very similar to my own stylist. You, and the replies, have shown me how ridiculous I am being. Life is too short for this crap.

Easy, just dont go back, she ignores you when you are out anyway.

She sounds like a complete shit, she doesn't deserve your money or your custom. Block her number and blank her the next time you see her in town. Hope you find a nice hairdresser OP.

Just don’t go back. You can just block number. If there internet contact after that ask to be removed from her data base, she doesn’t need your data any more.

I've done this recently. I did like my hair dresser but she wasn't amazing. She did a good job but she was mobile and I was paying salon prices. It started to bug me so I've just not made another appointment. I do feel a bit bad about it but business is business.