Please help a fat woman going out for cocktails with nothing to wear!

[Frumpyandlumpy]

I am that fat woman.

I'm going out on Friday, my first night out anywhere since February 2020. A group of friends and I are going to a couple of fairly fancy cocktail bars (until 1am apparently).

All my 'going out' clothes are 3 sizes too small, I've no idea what to wear and I'm nearly 50. Have tried looking online but everything seems to be summer dresses, nothing evening-y?

Where do I even start looking? What do people wear on nights out now? My friends are all younger and thinner, I don't want to be the fat frump in the corner!

What size and height are you op and what do you like to wear (eg dress/jeans) and what are definite no (eg short dress/ culottes) and where do you like to shop (and where do you fantasy shop - I'm in sezane on a Matalan budget)

I'm 5ft 7, size 20, might manage to squeeze into an 18 but 20 to be on the safe side. Sort of fat all over really

I've spent the last 18 months in leggings and t shirts. I used to wear dresses and skirts when I was thinner but now probably don't have the confidence to pull them off. So more at ease in jeans/ slim trousers, and usually darker colours too. Bit dull really.

Budget isn't massive, I've always tended to buy from the High Street, I used to shop in New Look, Dorothy Perkins, Monsoon etc although I've had a look in all of them and couldn't see anything I liked at all.

I have some trousers which are probably smart enough, I was thinking of those with a long, floaty sort of top but I can't find anything like that. I guess maybe that's not what people wear anymore! I think maybe I'm quite out of touch.

look here

To be honest, just buy a nice top you like, wear flats and go out OUT, no one is going to care, it’s been so long - I bet everyone is too self conscious to give you a second thought (I mean that in a nice way!) go and have fun

The easy option is probably buying one of those long billowy dresses that are everywhere at the moment (including in the sales) and wear it with white trainers. You’ll look current and the dress will skim over the bits you aren’t happy with.

Yep, I would say midi dress with trainers or sandals - you can't go wrong!

www.esprit.co.uk/p/curvy-recycled--crushed-chiffon-maxi-dress-031EE1E339.html#cgid=sale_1224

That dress Pepper has linked would be a good choice.

Yes I think the style of dress that is so fashionable at the moment is great, you could wear a nice pair of block sandals to give you some height without wearing massive heels.

What about this in the Anna Scholz sale?

www.annascholz.com/sale/georgette-frill-dress.html

It even says "Think dreamy summer evening cocktails" in the description. There are also plenty of other lovely dresses in size 20, sale and full price

I'm similar proportions to you and would wear something like this for a night at a smart bar.

Have you looked at shein's curve range?

I just bought a few nice dresses from there and they're cheap enough to buy 4 or 5 Amd see what feels nice.

I'm similar size, got lovely floaty midi dress from tkmax, also lovely maxi dress from Boden recently, wear with denim jacket but not trainers for evening, that only works on slimmer people. I'd wear comfy but high wedge sandals , do your hair and make up nice and then most importantly relax and have fun, that is the most attractive thing xx

[quote PepperPepperMan]www.esprit.co.uk/p/curvy-recycled--crushed-chiffon-maxi-dress-031EE1E339.html#cgid=sale_1224[/quote]
This would look lovely with white trainers. It’s very now.

Sheer top?

www.monki.com/en_gbp/clothing/tops/shirts-blouses/product.sheer-crepe-blouse-black.0974986003.html

Evening tops;

www.next.co.uk/style/st712106/670018#670018?i=20

www.next.co.uk/style/st897319/554474#554474?i=20

Or if you’re feeling brave about a dress?

www.next.co.uk/style/st712100/496459#496459?i=20

How do you feel about something more fitted?, I lost 4 stone last yr. I found when I was a size 18 floaty things made me feel even worse. Simple black bodycon dress with sandels, wedges or white pumps. Denim jacket & some big earrings. Was and still is my go to

I bought a lovely maxi joe brown dress from simply be, plus a lovely midi smock dress from there. I’m the same height/size and them with some wedges and decent accessories were what I wore out recently. Demin jacket as well. Summery vibes for sure, and I’m forty.

Also snag tights for their tight shorts for underneath dresses/skirts. Add no bulk, are super light weight.

I can't remember the last I went for for cocktails so no idea what people were but I bought this next dress yesterday.

I wouldn't normally choose a floral print for going out in the evening but I think this is ok as I has a dark base. Wear with sandals and a leather biker jacket if you have one (I don't) but I do have a denim jacket.

white trainers don't look good on me either ( thank you cankles) so I would wear with strappy flat sandals.

Size 18 is In stock so should arrive next day (I sizes down so it should fit perfectly- the belt is on the last hole though! )

A more helpful picture

Floaty/flattering dress with sandals
Nice top with black skirt and heels

My basics for going out (I'm bigger than you)

I bought a jumpsuit last year, completely out of my comfort zone but I got loads of compliments and it felt a bit more on trend than what I’d usually wear. It was made from Tencel - bugger to iron but more flattering than jersey. I wore it with flipflops and a denim jacket but wedges would look good too, it’s a real ‘dress up, dress down’ type of thing. Have a great night out🍸

Thanks so much for all the suggestions, really appreciate them all

I absolutely love the Anna Scholz dresses, but they're probably a bit outside my current budget. I have definitely bookmarked the site for the future though

I've now got a long shortlist of possibles, which is a lot more than I had yesterday so thank you all. Trying to narrow it down rather than just ordering everything and ending up with lots to return!

Agree with the floaty dress and sandals/trainers.
I've noticed on the handful of meals out in the last 18 months no one wears heels (thank god).

Apricot have some lovely maxi dresses. Their sizing is generous so you'll get into an 18. I shop all over the place, but it's always their dresses I get the compliments in.

www.apricotonline.co.uk/shop/dresses/maxi-dresses.html?size=121

I have this in a size 18 and it's lovely, the dove summer gradual tan mousse is brilliant for some nice colour on the legs - I dont go to cocktail bars so don't know if it's smart enough?