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Original poster

Help to find wedding outfit for overweight 30 year old

35 replies

jiggsymalone · 03/05/2019 10:21

I have a wedding coming up this summer that I need an outfit for. The thing is I've had quite a difficult year and put on a lot of weight. I've slowly started to lose it again but as someone with a history of eating disorders I'm very wary of not letting myself fall into attempts to crash diet so instead I'm trying to focus on finding something I'll feel good in at the size I am now.

My friend who is getting married has a lot of friends who are obsessed with size and weight (I suspect a couple have eating disorders themselves but this almost seems encouraged in the group) and regularly share 'thinspiration' posts on social media and make comments such as they cant understand how anyone could let themselves get fat, everything they do to make sure they're not, etc. This gives me a bit of the fear about going but I'm just trying to ignore that and focus on me and making myself feel good in my own body.

I found this dress online but it is on a website that doesn't have good reviews so I was hoping for some help to find something similar. I'm currently a size 12/14 (leaning more towards 14 at the minute but still sometimes a 12) and 5ft4. I have a big bust and chunky thighs and calves but a relatively small waist. I also don't like my arms at the moment so looking for something that will keep these covered but that is light enough for a summer wedding.
Can anyone help me to find something similar to this or give any suggestions for other outfits that might work for my body shape?

Thanks.

Help to find wedding outfit for overweight 30 year old
OP posts:
HennyPennyHorror · 03/05/2019 11:05

12 to 14 in't massive OP! It's a nice normal size. That dress you've linked to though....No! It's very "Flag-like" somehow and won't flatter anyone!

What's your budget? I'm a similar size to you but my weight is all thigh and hip. You're lucky to have a lovely waist and bust. Thighs and calves are nothing. Another nice idea might be a trouser suit, belted to show your waist. HAng on.

HennyPennyHorror · 03/05/2019 11:07

www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_58605+06947701_-1
This would be lovely with a bright, oversized clutch and some lovely shoes or sandals.

Look great on your figure.

HennyPennyHorror · 03/05/2019 11:07

Damn just saw not in your size atm!

HostessTrolley · 03/05/2019 12:05

You’re not overweight!

I’m going to a wedding in a few weeks, full of judgey people I haven’t seen in years. I’m now a size 18, as I gained 3 stone from eating with my daughter during her anorexia recovery. I’m at peace with it as she’s well.

I went dress shopping looking for something flowing, with sleeves and a wrap over neckline, but ended up buying this dress. It’s longer on me than on the photo (I’m 5’4.5”) but the more fitted style was much more flattering than the more voluminous dresses, the twist front makes my waist look amazing, the neckline doesn’t make my bust look chunky, and it’s in slightly stretchy fabric but is lined, so it has the right balance of being structured but also comfy. I’m going to get a little shrug or jacket in a duck egg or teal or possibly navy as I already have navy shoes.

www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_54510+205411000_-1

Original poster
jiggsymalone · 03/05/2019 15:17

Thanks for the suggestions. I'm not a big fan of jumpsuits as they never seem to sit well or be particularly flattering on me. I like the leopard print one though!

Hostess
That's a gorgeous dress and probably an example of something I wouldn't ever consider for my shape due to seeing legs/arms but if you're saying it's longer on you could be worth trying something like that on. Where does it come to on your legs? I said I'm 5ft4 in original post but actually 5ft4.5 like you (but just tend to round it down) so it would probably come to the same length on me.

OP posts:
TipseyTorvey · 03/05/2019 15:20

Unlike others I love your first dress! Am also curvy busty 12 so would wear that. Where is it from please? With high wedges that would really cover some of my flabby bits 😊

Original poster
jiggsymalone · 03/05/2019 15:56

Tipsey
It's from rosewe.com. I still really like it but the site gets awful reviews in trustpilot so would love to find something similar somewhere else.

OP posts:
WhoAreThey · 03/05/2019 16:15

I’m bigger then you and have tried 2 Scarlett and Jo dresses which I loved and were really flattering. This is the one I chose, it has good sleeves for summer but not sure how long it would be on you.

Help to find wedding outfit for overweight 30 year old
HennyPennyHorror · 04/05/2019 06:17

It's quite hard to find maxi dresses with sleeves OP....because there has to be SOMETHING on display or people look like they're in a tent.

Which is better...your calves or your arms? If you had to get one of them out which would you choose?

At your size I can't see your calves being that big at all!

florence11 · 04/05/2019 06:26

I just wrote a post and lost it, doh!

What about separates @jiggsymalone ?

My SIL wore a gorgeous skirt and top Tony wedding, skirt was midi length. She is quite short and a similar size to you. Would you wear heels? They would take the focus away from your calves.

How about something like this:

www.coast-stores.com/p/daphne-jacquard-maxi-skirt/2110898

beachyhead · 04/05/2019 06:31

Have you looked at swing dresses?

www.phase-eight.com/fcp/product/phase-eight/all-clothing/jodie-colourblock-dress/205415466

Nacreous · 04/05/2019 07:30

I am your size, just under 5' 4", biggish bust and thighs but a small waist, and I guess you'd say my calves are chunky (I walk loads and cycle and swim).

Calves are almost never something you need to hide, as they're down near your feet and I bet you've really never looked at someone and critically examined whether they should have hidden their thighs.

I agree with the lady who suggest the phase 8 dress - I have lots of stuff from there and it's usually well cut for a fairly hourglass figure, but with enough lining and texture to skim any lumpy bits. A dress that style will probably suit you really well.

WatchingTheWheels85 · 04/05/2019 07:32

I love the dress you posted op!

HennyPennyHorror · 04/05/2019 08:39

I think the Phase8 dress is lovely but it won't show OP's best asset...her waist.

It would look good on someone with a willowy figure.

Nacreous · 04/05/2019 09:30

Sorry realised I should have said the first phase 8 dress - not the swing dress. I definitely couldn't wear that as it would just hang off my bust.

alltheeastereggs · 04/05/2019 09:35

Look at monsoon? Eg
https://uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/ukcatalog/monn_20/6429116112

alltheeastereggs · 04/05/2019 09:36

Actually I'm not sure what you're meant to do with that bra-wise

foreverhanging · 04/05/2019 09:51

That dress is lovey and I would KILL to be a 12-14. I know what it is like when you're surrounded by people like that, though.

Deathraystare · 04/05/2019 14:46

ook at monsoon? Eg
uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/ukcatalog/monn_20/6429116112

I have been lusting after this for myself for my Brother's wedding. Trouble is if I keep on umming and aaaahing it will be gone. So excited - a dress with no Viscose in it!!!!

HostessTrolley · 04/05/2019 21:25

It’s just below the knee on me

I’m definitely chubby but I do have a waist, I feel... bombshell-y in the dress, I only picked it up because I liked the print and was trying a whole load of other stuff on. I figured arms and legs would look better with a bit of colour - self tan if necessary, and I saw a little shrug on eBay that I might buy. What I’d love is a teal-ish biker jacket, my cousins are really bitchy and I need to feel fabulous and stick it to them 😂

HennyPennyHorror · 05/05/2019 02:28

Bloodstained that star print maxi is gorgeous...OP that would look great! I'm a similar size to you and know it would work on you as your waist is good....and you have a bust so the neckline would be nice too.

Elllllle · 05/05/2019 05:10

I hesitate to recommend Boden (mainly because it doesnt usually work for me), but your original dress OP reminded me a lot of something someone posted from Boden a while back. Cant see it now on the website but maybe have a look there?

Like this maybe?

blossom

Or these but with the neck altered to a scoop or V might work?

navy

poinsettia