yar har me hearties (and other such ribald talk), come here and help us choose me a pirate outfit.

[Apatosaurus]

So the choice is between a sort of bawdy wench style

or

more pirate lady traditionelle

This decision is VERY important.

The outfit is for our village fete (theme this year: Pirates...obviously).
I am wife of the chair of the village fete committee.
I HAVE to win best dressed female (or bring shame upon my family).
The wife of the chair usually wins but has to ..you know...be showing to have made an effort.
If I win I get my photo in the local newspaper.
I have to make my outfit (shop bought is not acceptable...I would be shunned).

My boobs are in a moderately acceptable state so could be pushed up for the wench look....but mustn't look like I'm a slag...I am treasurer of the village toddler group and there are standards you know.

MN decides.(Will tally up votes before desperate housewives).

traditional pirate.
I think that one's sexier, actually.

traditional pirate ,the other one looks like a spanish dancer

Traditional. Look at Pirates of the Caribbean.

Yes traditional pirate is much, much cooler (and recognisable as a pirate).

You could make it even better with an eye patch and a stuffed toy parrot on your shoulder.

oooh initial strong showing for the pirate

(DH is looking disappointed)

You need one of these

and a pair of pistols

Well the trad outfit won then.

Poor poor DH he was so looking forward to some highly pushed up boobs.

Go traditional the other one is too trashy

but I did so want to be a little bit trashy for once.....I'm Jonnie Bodens wet dream client.

Are you the one who is my compition for Johnnie's heart

the trad one is better. I am actually a real pirate myself, and wore similar on riotous girly rum fuelled nights out last summer.

Pirates of the carribbean trad look.

woo hoo, only a few more weeks and pirate 3 is out.

YO Ho Yo ho, a pirates life for me!!

There's a competition...sign me up...I am the living embodiment of Middle England flippy skirt running on a beach with freckled children and rugged husband with his trousers rolled up.

Yo Ho Ho and pieces of eight to you to pirate girl

I wonder what Johnnie looks like?

What, no Franny?

2 if you want to have self respect as intact as is possible.

I hear he is a bit podgy.

I always imagine him more of a Mike from Desperate Housewives

yes with sleeves rolled up, wearing boat shoes in the office, eating green apples with one foot up on the desk.

Yes his feet are up and he is eating his apple fantasising about what I must look like

lol ppb

after fantasising for a short while he then gathers up his hand made wicker basket from under his desk and runs through the streets of his quaint sea side village (looking over his shoulder and laughing). He buys some bagettes and asparagus and then still running and laughing climbs aboard his boat (damn cannot spell yaght) where I happen to be having a nap on some slightly faded but everso warm and soft looking towels.

there is a chocolate lab there too.

no no chocolate lab is soooo 2001 Boden, it's some weird breed of dog, with really frizzy hair and giant paws.

Its suome kind of sheep dog I think. Yes I bet he is lovely