I'm 42 & don't kmow where the hell to shop or what to wear! Tell me what you do pleeeease!

[Honey1975]

I despair, surely it shouldn't be so hard to dress myself. I don't have many clothes that I particularly like or that do anything for me. I am fed up feeling & looking rubbish so I thought I'd treat myself to a few new clothes but I just don't know what to get!

This morning i have browsed white stuff & fat face and found both depressing and just not me. Their sizes weren't right on me and I looked like a sack of spuds in the clothes that just hung off me.

Oasis was next. Most of it I thought was too young for me although the casual stuff was nice but so expensive for what it was. I don't think I can spend £30+ on a casual
top.

Last night I trawled through Gap, Next & La Redoute websites and found not one thing I wanted to buy.

My vital statistics are: age 42.5, 5'3", 9 stone ish with a tummy, size 12. I suit Autumn colours of which I can find very few. I look tired so need some colour near my face I think. Most things seem to be grey or black including my current wardrobe.

I don't want loads of clothes, I just want a few things that will make me look nice & feel good. I don't have much spare time for clothes shopping & not lots of money but I can spare some to get a few new things.

Please can anyone help? Thanks in advance.

Following with interest. Why do I find it so difficult to find stuff I like?! Recently bought a couple of tops on Very. Free returns so bought loads and returned what I didn't like. Worth a look maybe?

I don't think you have to change the shops you normally go to, but what might be helpful is to decide on the look/style you like and take it from.there. Is there someone in the public eye whose outfits you like and can keep in mind when you go shopping? Would you consider a personal shopper/stylist? Have you looked at pinterest for ideas?

Tell us about your lifestyle. Do you work? If so, what is the environment and what do you colleagues wear? Do you live in the city, town, county? Are you in and out of your car all day or commuting by public transport? Do you have young children who smear sticky fingers all over you?

Just a thought.. if you're 5ft 3 and 9 stone (which is exactly my height and weight) I'd very much doubt you're a size 12.
Will you try on a 10? I'd be extremely surprised if a 10 wouldn't fit. Sometimes, even an 8 fits me. You'll find the fit and shape much, much better and that's what makes you appear and feel more stylish.

Why don’t you book a personal shopper at John Lewis? It’s completely free and even if you don’t buy anything it’ll give you an ideal on different styles of clothes etc. My sister does it once a year and swears by it!

I'm in the same boat as you OP. I'm thinking of getting one really nice pair of jeans that I'm happy to dress up or down - I'm thinking black or very dark denim. I have a good range of coats already so I just need tops really. I think fairly fitted fine knit merino or cashmere jumpers look good and can be dressed up or down with jewellery and heels. Trainers and a parka - walk in the park. Wool coat, necklace and heels - out for lunch.

I agree about the weight/height/size. I'm a few years older than you, 5'2" and 9st 3lb and a 10 (pretty much an 8 in M&S!).

Have a look at some blogs for ideas, good petite blogs are The Fashion Lift, SusieSoSo and SmallTownThreads. Doesmybumlook40 is a very tall but very prolific blogger, midlifechic is very grown up but does good reviews, I also like MyFashionable40s, Alifetostyle, Onthespike and enbrogue (for flat shoe love). Try Tuesday (personal stylist online) are good for M&S ideas, you sign up for free and they send an email once a month with ideas.

What's your budget like and how do you need to dress? Do you need mainly casual, smart casual or business dress?

Uniqlo are good for cheap but decent quality basics, COS for more 'interesting' stuff that is excellent quality, Hush is worth looking at for styling ideas, the quality varies though, dresses and jeans and leather are good, t-shirts and jumpers not so much. Boden gets slagged off a lot but if you ignore the garish stuff they do still make some good quality basics (although quality not as uniformly good as it once was), trousers and cashmere are good.

TK Maxx is a good place to pick up a few things without spending a fortune. My DM and I go in, get a trolley, just fire loads of things in there and try them all on. You might only get 1 thing out of 20 but at least the prices are reasonable. I couldn't justify £30 for one casual top either.

TK Maxx fan here. Love it.

Interesting about the sizes. My problem area is my middle which requires a 12 (need to work on that!) but my shoulders, arms etc do fit better in a 10. I am right in between, a 10 is just a little too tight and a 12 can look too big around my shoulders so dresses are tricky. I like dresses for work.

If you like the oasis clothes, then suck up the slightly higher price, then buy less. They have a lot of autumnal colours in now.

River island is cut for a bit of a tummy, but their clothes feel too young for me. (I'm late 30s)

Agree that fat face and white stuff seems to have gone full frump this year.

I'm 43 about same height size 12 (just lost a stone in weight so 11stone from 12 stone)
been wearing these types of dresses from M & S nice range with thick tights or leggings for work and had compliments

www.marksandspencer.com/printed-long-sleeve-swing-midi-dress/p/p22511766?image=SD_01_T42_6565_E4_X_EC_90&color=BLUEMIX&prevPage=srp
www.marksandspencer.com/spotted-long-sleeve-swing-midi-dress/p/p60135879?image=SD_01_T42_6518_Y4_X_EC_90&color=BLACKMIX&carousel=spotlightTop&pdpredirect

Mint Velvet do great clothes . .it's owned by All Saints but for our age group .

Cos does some really nice tops that hide my tummy. I practically live in their dresses.
Try Massimo Dutti and boden as well.
What do you do? I wear an uniform at work, but I find it easier to change when I wear a dress.
I have a couple of knee high boots and some flats, one pair of grey converse.

But, yes, a rule of thumb I just throw a dress on, literally.

Some great advice on this thread....as a result I have already bought myself a new pair of trainers from the blog enbrogue's recommendations! This could get expensive......

@Annabelle4 .. I was just thinking the same thing . I’d be surprised if you are a size 12 . I’m heavier and shorter and a size 8/10

I think it's just my tummy & boobs that make me a 12!

I'm another one that's over 2 stone heavier than you and not much taller and a size 12.

Sod the price - it's so hard to find anything you like so just pay more and buy less.

Have you looked at the Esprit website. They have some nice things.

Try putting together a board on Pinterest - just browse, adding things you love ('fall outfits' is a good search term because so many Americans use it), and then sort of step back and look for recurring themes or styles.

Use cheap layering vests and 'shape' pants from places like primark to cover lumps and bumps - NO celebrity that you see photographed in a dress, especially a jersey dress such as you find in fat face or whitestuff ISN'T wearing them!

Once you've found a look you like and feel comfortable in, buy a few bits new and then hunt charity shops or ebay for pieces that fit - again using Pinterest for inspiration...

I have red hair and I can ALWAYS find autumn colours, especially at the moment! You just have to hunt a bit...

Is there a particular look that you like or find comfortable?

I have nothing useful to add (I dress like a tramp tbh) BUT...

I’m the same height and weight as you OP - and a size 12!

Personal shopper and bloggers, as others have suggested. You just need inspiration and new ideas.

I don’t find magazines particularly helpful for clothes ideas. It’s either out there couture (Vogue, Elle etc) or ‘how to dress just like Kourtney Kardashian’ with little in between.

Jigsaw are normally OK for autumnal colours. I look terrible in them so I tend to notice them in shops more!

I know you already tried Oasis but the autumnal colours there are gorgeous at the moment... I got this top in oasis and love it... It was 52 euro I think but the sterling rate would he better... Excuse the wrinkles.... I did a terrible job ironing it;)

Pinterest is good.

As is Marie Kondo, I found going through my wardrobe and working out what I didn't like extremely helpful (I assume that you have a full length mirror, if not buy one) and I was able to avoid more mistakes.
Next on the list is bloody good underware, bra correctly fitted from somewhere proper like bravissimo. There is no point clothes shopping IMO without doing that bit first as even decent stuff can look rubbish over a badly fitted bra.
Same for a good cut and colour, go trying clothes on with good hair and a decent bra is half the battle.
I also take an honest stylish freind with me, there us no point choosing a person who just says yes to everything and isn't interested in fashion.

Thanks MilkTwoSugars I thought perhaps I'm just a weird shape or something..😄 I can be a 10 or a 12 depending on the shop but a 12 is generally always more comfortable!

I got my shopping mojo back after having a colour me beautiful session. I know you say you like autumn colours but it might widen your options. I'm 41 and can usually find something I like in debenhams - I like their principles range.