I'm 42 & don't kmow where the hell to shop or what to wear! Tell me what you do pleeeease!

[Honey1975]

I despair, surely it shouldn't be so hard to dress myself. I don't have many clothes that I particularly like or that do anything for me. I am fed up feeling & looking rubbish so I thought I'd treat myself to a few new clothes but I just don't know what to get!

This morning i have browsed white stuff & fat face and found both depressing and just not me. Their sizes weren't right on me and I looked like a sack of spuds in the clothes that just hung off me.

Oasis was next. Most of it I thought was too young for me although the casual stuff was nice but so expensive for what it was. I don't think I can spend £30+ on a casual
top.

Last night I trawled through Gap, Next & La Redoute websites and found not one thing I wanted to buy.

My vital statistics are: age 42.5, 5'3", 9 stone ish with a tummy, size 12. I suit Autumn colours of which I can find very few. I look tired so need some colour near my face I think. Most things seem to be grey or black including my current wardrobe.

I don't want loads of clothes, I just want a few things that will make me look nice & feel good. I don't have much spare time for clothes shopping & not lots of money but I can spare some to get a few new things.

Please can anyone help? Thanks in advance.

Like an old bore I am popping up on another thread to recommend Uniqlo.

Think a pp has mentioned it but I can't recommend it highly enough.

I am 41 and until I discovered Uniqlo I was in a bit of a bind because now I have a child my budget no longer stretches to the upper end of the high street and - more importantly - since I had a child I lost all sense of my former style!

I find Gap generally useless these days (though I have just fallen in love with their - pricey - True Skinny jeans). I feel depressed just looking at most of the stuff in White Stuff and Fat Face. They have the occasional thing I like but I have no desire to feel like an absolutely style-free frump, thank you.

I like Oasis sometimes, think their quality is generally decent too (unlie you, Gap...) but they can be way too high on the polyester for my personal liking.

I v much like a lot of Mint Velvet as a pp recommended and I do like the occaisonal thing at Whistles (splurged on a lovely sress from there recently) but they are above my budget generally.

Hence, enter Uniqlo!

V reasonably priced, largely natural fabrics (wool, cotton, cashmere) and well-cut basics. I endlessly repeat my tedious but true story of having a Breton dress from White Stuff that I always felt miserable in, only to then buy a (less than half the price of the WS one) Breton dress from Uniqlo that I felt FAB in and worse all summer. It was something about the fractionally shorter (but flattering) length, the slight cocoon shape as opposed to boring too-slingy shuft shape), the pockets... It was no comparison and it's why I always start a shopping trip in Uniqlo and rarely look at WS etc these days.

Uniqlo leggings trousers are AMAZING, I wear them almost every day. They lose their fab shape after about 6 months, yes, but I wash them twice a week (messy pre-schooler...) and they only cost about £20 so it's no problem. Much prefer them to any other jeggings/leggings-cut trousers I've tried.

Merino wool tops are excellent, I've raved about them on here before. You have to buy the largest size you think you could possibly need as they are clingy-cut but they are v flattering. Plain colours but a good range.

So I would recommend Uniqlo above all else, OP. I love it and live in dread of it heading the way of Gap...

WORE all summer, not WORSE all summer!!! Bloody iphone, sorry about other typos...

Oh and sorry, me again - I second what pp's said about TK Maxx too. I had never even looked in there until a few years ago as I was (embarrassed to admit it) too much of a clothes snob. Now I bloody love the place.

You need TIME to browse through the racks but it's like a treasure-hunting expedition, it's absolutely brilliant. I have picked up some fantastic cashmere and cashmere/wool mix sweaters from there for about £30 reduced from triple that. Like anything it's a selective process and you have to be careful not to end up spending quite a lot on loads of stuff you're not in love with just because it's cheap.

But I genuinely love a couple of the sweaters I've bought from there and get compliments on them from v stylish people

Stupid me for being so stuck-up about the amazing place for years when I used to spend £150, average, on a pair of jeans, ffs

Watching this thread for advice

I’m 42 but a tall 12

Basics:

All the H&M brands, so COS, &otherstories, Arket.

The above are online only as I don’t have them where I live.

For cheap basic jeans and things - GAP and Uniqlo

For Jeans and shoes - Topshop and Boutique brand there for more grown up stuff

For seasonal buys that I might not wear again - Zara, H&M and M&S (yes really - they’ve priced themselves into the low end of the high st for some items)

Occasional: warehouse, whistles, jigsaw

Never: white stuff, fat face, joules, oasis, river island, most Debenhams, mint velvet, Phase eight, FCUK

Love clothes and find loads.

Have a few blogs I follow on Instagram.

Toast. Pricey but I find as I get older I’m maniacal about plainness. Toast suits my monastic/ headmistress aesthetic perfectly.

Maybe you are wearing the wrong bra size- its so easy to get this wrong. I find Bravissimo and their clothes range fit me well. Best thing to do is go to one of their shops for a proper fitting. It really helped me.

Wauden that's a good point. Most of my bras are padded even though I don't need padding but I find it hard to find any that aren't!! Also I prefer padded in some ways as I don't want things on show especially in the cold weather😄.
However if I didn't wear a padded bra it would certainly make me more of a size 10 up top.
Do most people wear padded bras out of interest?

Someone on a previous thread said about Bravissimo clothes. Great for curves / big boobs. The sale stuff is reasonable. Maybe they may fit you better as you put in your frame and then breast size to get right fit.

The only thing I like in River Island is their jeans, not the ripped versions or jeggings but their proper darker denim jeans.

I have already bought myself a new pair of trainers from the blog enbrogue's recommendations! This could get expensive.....

Sorry! I do think that blog should come with some kind of warning, I always want to buy more shoes after reading it.

Seasalt clothes have narrower shoulders and nice colours.

I don’t think £30 for a top is too much, but I tend to buy few clothes and keep them for years.

I’ve done a few John Lewis personal shopper days and found them amazingly helpful and stress free, with no pressure to buy.

I'm going to throw in Joe Browns here www.joebrowns.co.uk/.

Their tops and dresses are around £35 but they are flattering and I find I wear mine ALL THE TIME so they have actually been great value for money. The style is patterned which is great for hiding lumps and bumps. They also don't fade or flop with endless washing.

Autumnal floral dress with tights and boots in winter is always a winner.

I think they're doing free returns at the moment so you could order a handful and return what doesn't work. Good luck!

Oh, and Manteray if you live anywhere near a Debenham's. More patterns, but so much wear if you get the right thing!

I would advise that you go and use the personal shopper services in John Lewis and Topshop, tell them your dress sizes what you need work/casual/event and let them dress you. Keep an open mind and try on everything that they bring. If possible take a friend with you. Good luck

Thank you for all the replies and advice, I am looking through all the websites suggested.

I work part time in an office which is smart casual although in my dept the other ladies tend to wear dresses but they are ten years younger than me with no kids and perfect figures.

I have 2 dc's who I pick up each day
from school so as soon as I'm home I'm out of work clothes and into mummy clothes of jeans, top of
some sort, all fairly old and uninteresting.

I need some colour as grey & black is doing nothing for me at all. I have had my colours done before and was told I was an Autumn. Lots of those colours do suit but some I really dislike eg mustard, orange, lime.
I'm just not good at putting things together or being bold with colour so I end up in grey or black.

I don't go out much socially but the other week I was invited out at short notice and I had nothing nice to wear and so I felt self conscious all night. I just want one 'go to' outfit that I can wear on a night out but I don't know what to get. I'm so out of touch and have let myself go a bit I think.

I do like the suggestion that was made above about buying things I like from oasis but buying less. The other day I bought 2 bags of clothes from sainsburys but none of them looked nice on me so I returned them. For the same price I could have bought one or two things in oasis that I actually really liked and would therefore make me feel good.

I also liked the suggestion of wearing the right underwear. I have some dresses which would probably fit ok if I wore the right kind of underwear! My bras are all wrong and my pants need to be higher😩

If you feel more comfortable at the moment wearing black or grey, why don't you just add a coloured scarf to your outfit? You can test out different colours and prints and see what suits you best with minimal commitment. Lots to choose from on Ebay so small prices for lots of choice. I use scarves at lot at work. They cover a multitude of sins (including a fat belly lol) and freshen up a black/grey outfit.

Joules or Phase eight

Also Dickens & Jones HOF

Boohoo and Primark for me - perfect sizing and cheap. Size 8. 5 foot 4. Age 49.

OP are you an apple shape? If so, come and join us at the 'apple' thread. I bought the 'Becca' dress from Phase eight upon recommendation and it hides a multitude of sins (but get a size 8; I'm a 16 and got a 12).

I think that your problem is that you tried to shop in person. Shops just don't have nice stuff anymore, everything is online these days.

And yes, follow blogs! I like midlifechic and she's autumn colouring too.

Jessicake i popped into TK Maxx today at lunch and found a lovely coloured cashmere cardigan. Was so tempted but I know it would make me itch and it was dry clean only which isn't practical for me.

Can't believe how much autumn coloured stuff sainsburys has in & yet none of it looked nice on me.
The search continues!

Cashmere shouldn't itch and handwashing will be better for it than dry cleaning. Be brave and try new things!

Thanks CountFosco, I do need to do something different. I looked in the mirror in tk maxx and didn't like what I saw! Wild hair, pale skin despite make up applied this morning which had vanished, scruffy looking clothes.
I can't bear any kind of wool on mu skin as it's so sensitive so I just thought cashmere would be a no.

Maraki I definitely used to be a pear but think I may be turning into an apple😄. My defined waist seems to be disappearing. Will have a look at that thread.

The lighting and mirrors in TKMaxx are specifically designed to make you look like an old hag. Never never never use their changing rooms.