Shaped like a brick and need a dress

[fairlytiredtonight]

Just that really. Need a dress for DB's wedding and I am literally a brick on legs. Large size 14, 38B, 5'7", slimmish legs and podgy tum. My waist and hips really don't have much difference, maybe an inch?

Anybody have any experience of dressing my odd shape? If any of you fabulous fashionistas have any ideas, I'd love to hear them

My underbust is more like 36" but I have an enormous ribcage and the top of my ribs tends to stick into 36" bras, hence I wear a 38"

It's just occurred to me that I'm beginning to sound extremely odd ...

Bet you aren't a 38b. I think you are prob a 36d at least - if the cup isn't big enough your norks steal from the band.

Try measuring using the Bra Guru method. I looked so much better after being interventioned!

I'm very straight up and down, and recently bought this dress, and it gave me curves and looked fabulous on

I think I'd feel mega shapeless in that dress. I would love something to give me some shape but don't know if that's even possible. V necks look good on me. There seems to be a lot of fit and flare (is that the right name?), 50's style dresses around and I love them but think they're more suited to pear shaped, younger women. I'm 46 btw and live in jeans and tops so I'm a little scared of dresses!

I can see that damsel in a dress one giving you shape. That's probably more the style I need. I promise to spend some time on bra measuring too

www.phase-eight.co.uk/fcp/product/phase-eightClaudia-Dress/202587753 Would this work or do you think the jersey would cling? The style is probably right although the colours probably aren't.

Love silver grey, green or dark pink as colours.

This might work. The different upper and lower halves would give the illusion of shape - and you could even add a belt.

These?

ladyvlondon.com/Vintage-Tea-Dresses/

I like that Zero. I think the fact it's almost empire line might work too as not focusing on the lack of waist too much. Would prefer a brighter colour but the shape is definitely on the right track.

I think tea dresses are gorgeous MsV but sadly make me look like a sack of spuds due to my lack of waist.

Lol at brick, I am the same except I call it a barrel, brick is better

Silvery-ish. Elegant. Very pretty colours if you enlarge the fabric close-up.

That's nice Zero but might need better boobs

I think the fifties dresses are lovely Precious but do you think you need a better shape for them to look good. Are they more suited to hourglass/curvy gals?

I have a similar shape and work hard to create the illusion of curves. Firstly get a padded balconette bra. This lifts the norks away from the ribcage and creates a bit of shape.

Dress wise you are looking for an empire line but without any rouching ( or only in the very front) or one of those dresses that knots under the bust and then flares into an A-line. Go down a size in these so there isn't too much material around the hips but enough to suggest curves and it will visually make the ribs look smaller. Material wise jersey is very good as it is less restrictive around the middle. Boden is good for our shape in some of their designs.

A jersey tube dress can work but get it big enough to skim and then wear it with a slouchy jumper/top. There are loads of these about in summer materials too. A hip length cardigan but only buttoned up in the middle with one or two buttons seems to create shape over these dresses.

Cropped cardigans are good as are cropped denim jackets. They sort of trick the eye and draw attention away from a wide/non existent waist and work with the dress styles outlined above.

Slash neck bretons/tops with 3/4 sleeve work well with wide leg trousers. Just try and keep it one colour or have one the stripes match the trousers.

Bardot shape is good in tops and jumpers.

Asymmetric tops/jumpers can work well.

Things that never work for me are-

Tailored jackets
Anything tunic style with leggings ( brick on legs)
High neck jumpers or polo necks
Anything belted.
Shift dresses.
Skinny or tapered trousers ( draws more attention to blocky shape)
Wrap dresses. They look atrocious as there is nothing to wrap into and it just leaves the chest exposed.
Shirts or blouses that button up the front.

I am a similar shape and have recently bought this. I love Phase Eight dresses as they are so flattering and give me an illusion of shape.

Thanks so much Milmingebag. It's good to know I'm not the only person with this problem . The first thing I need to do I think is get the bra situation sorted. I've got a better idea now I think about what would work for my weird shape!!

Thanks so much everyone for your input, I really appreciate it.

this might work

Phase Eight seems to be coming up a lot. I've always steered clear of there as it looked a bit jersey and in my mind that always equalled clingy but if it works for people with the same shape I need to have a look.

Jersey works really well if it is a good weight. There is a maxi dress at Boden that looks like it might work that I should get in the next couple of days so will report back.

Don't laugh but the best bras I have ever found are from Peacocks. They are light but well padded at the lower half of the cup and boost my bust by about two sizes. They give a nice line under clothes and cost about £6.

The Boden dress is nice but just wondered if it might be a bit casual for a wedding? I've had a knot type top from Boden and it can sometimes border on looking like maternity wear iyswim?

Thanks for the tip re Peacocks. Will definitely try those!

Also was going to add that I steer clear of patterns personally and keep detail ( if any) to either my top half or bottom half on clothing -nothing in the middle. I personally find folds and gathers across the stomach actually only make me look bigger but I do have a stomach to work around.

I sound so charming

I think if you went for the blue one and wore it with silver strappy sandals and nice jewellery it could look dressy enough. That dress could look like maternity wear if you don't size down enough but if you go small it should be flattering. If you are a 14 try the 12 and 10 because the only place you need room is around the ribcage owing to the shape IYSWIM.