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Original poster

Bridesmaid dress and BFP - urgent help please!

32 replies

sweetmelody · 05/05/2014 17:40

My sister is getting married in 6 weeks (13 June) and I am her matron of honour. Just over a week ago I found out that I was unexpectedly pregnant. Because it is unplanned I am not sure of my dates but think I am in my seventh week, so expect to be 3 months pregnant by the date of the wedding.

I really cannot remember how much I was showing at the same time last time around (7 years ago). It is now my second child, I'm 42 and I'm currently a size 12 (if that helps). But my tummy is already looking 'big' - eek!

It's a big wedding and she has a lot of bridesmaids so I thought I could wing it and make a decision closer to the time. I'm not really fussed about being a bridesmaid although she really wants me too (long story, had rows over it), and certainly not keen on being one with a visible bump. But what has really thrown me is that I remember now that I went to a wedding when pregnant the first time. I was only 4 months gone but had a visible bump even in a maxi dress (what I chose to wear).

This is what I am supposed to be wearing.

Hardly forgiving [hmmm]

Can someone with more clarity of thought than me help me through my options??

OP posts:
Original poster
sweetmelody · 05/05/2014 17:42

By the way, I am the only one of the bridesmaids wearing this dress so could (potentially) get another one closer to the time. But what are the chances of getting something in powder pink that is bump and budget friendly that meets the bride's approval?

OP posts:
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 05/05/2014 17:48

Im currently 15wks with dc2 and am in maternity wear as my bump is quite pronounced. Lucky that you are the only one in that dress so will make it easier to change.

Could you go shopping two weeks before, find something suitable and leave the tags on - return of not needed and you fit the forst dress ok?

Original poster
sweetmelody · 05/05/2014 17:56

Yes - I think my bump will be too...

I didn't think of buying something with a view to wearing only if needed (see, mind and body changes early too!).

I just cannot face more BM dress shopping!. And also wanted to wait until I had had a scan until we announce since I miscarried at 8 weeks last year. Possible if I wait until 2 weeks before, but should probably start the search now

OP posts:
MrsDiesel · 05/05/2014 17:58

A Grecian floaty dress should conceal a bump quite well. I think dessy has tons of styles that you can order in loads of styles.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 05/05/2014 18:00

Ok, that we can help with!! Grin

Would you consider paying for the dress? Assuming Bride paid for the first dress, would be good of you to pay for a replacement.

What are the other BM dresses like?

Oh, and totally nosy cowing it here, but does she know you are pg?

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 05/05/2014 18:02

shorter lace style

SueDNim · 05/05/2014 18:02

I've just googled "maternity bridesmaid dress uk" and quite a lot comes up. If they take returns then order a few and keep one or two you like to show your DSis closer to the time.

MrsDiesel · 05/05/2014 18:04

www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/6691/?color=punch&colorid=1190

Any good?

Original poster
sweetmelody · 05/05/2014 18:22

Thanks ladies (you got the not so subtle hint Grin)

The other bridesmaids are wearing a chiffony, pleated affair. So, Grecian-style probably wouldn't look too out of step.

I'm paying for my own dress so now have the pleasure of buying a second

Was hoping not to tell anyone until after scan, which could be before 12 weeks if I get offered a reassurance scan/go private. Don't see how I can avoid telling my sister before the wedding, obviously, scan or no scan, but not happy about this because of miscarriage last year.

Aaaargh!!

The Dessy dress is quite nice. I really liked my dress so am going to find it hard to settle for something frumpy that will accommodate my bump

OP posts:
MrsDiesel · 05/05/2014 19:12

We had an early scan which wasn't too expensive, maybe 60 quid?

You might nit be as far along as you think and a pair of spanx would allow you to wear the first dress is bigger size.

Are you allowed to wear spanx whilst in early pregnancy? That might be stupid advice.

Original poster
sweetmelody · 05/05/2014 19:40

I did think of spanx and had the same question! Will find out

Was planning to wear spanx anyway ha ha

Certainly an option to buy in a bigger size but Was lucky enough to find an older version of the dress in an outlet for a third of the price so would be gutting to have to fork out at full price (and would need lots of alterations as I am small of bust and large of bottom)

OP posts:
MrsDiesel · 05/05/2014 19:53

Maybe another dress would be the best option then.

TK Max might be worth a look.

I think even at 12 weeks baby is pretty small so I would have thought spanx are fine but I'm no midwife.

MrsDiesel · 05/05/2014 19:53

www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/lr200/#.U2fVRLRwa6o Love this one

MrsDiesel · 05/05/2014 19:54

www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/2907/#.U2fVObRwa6o

This would disguise a little bump...

MrsDiesel · 05/05/2014 19:58

www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/d649/#.U2fe97Rwa6o

Sorry I am way over invested in this thread but this one seems more similar too the original dress.

Tilly28 · 05/05/2014 19:59

I'm also being a bridesmaid for my soon to be SIL and iv just found out I'm pregnant. Il be 18 weeks at the wedding and we have already got the dresses (no chance to change them as was a special deal and 3 of us wearing the same thing) im just keep my fingers crossed it still fits!

3boys3dogshelp · 05/05/2014 20:03

Hmm not much room to hide a bump in your dress :-/. I definitely had a bump by 12 weeks in my second and third pregnancies as my tummg muscles were weaker. Not sure you would want a full on maternity dress at 12 weeks though. I was bm for my sil at 36 weeks (long story!) and even at 36 weeks I had to have it taken in! A maternity style would probably accentuate the bump too which doesn't sound ideal.

Justinepants · 05/05/2014 21:32

This just caught my eye when I searched maternity bridesmaids dresses. I can't see it's obviously maternity but it has a lace up back which might do the trick.

I know nothing about the company (in China) but they seem to have good feedback. It's a similar tone to yours and very pretty.

cookielove · 05/05/2014 21:43

I don't think you will be able to get a dessy dress unless you buy off the rack and not order as it is to short notice.

Chimchar · 06/05/2014 06:45

full on maternity here...www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/m406/#.U2h2d2dOUeg

congratulations!

cookielove · 06/05/2014 08:53

chimchar I'm wearing that dress for a wedding in California when I am 6 months, op it is very roomy and will cover everything!

Chimchar · 06/05/2014 16:42

Sweetmelody, the colour "cameo" looks a perfect match to the other dress too.

Cookie...it's lovely! What colour you wearing?

bouquetofpencils · 06/05/2014 17:25

Spanx do maternity tights I think.

Have you looked at Tiffany Rose? They will probably have powder pink. You can find second hand ones on EBay too if you just want a last minute back up.

I was 22wks on my wedding day, planned the wedding first then found out I was pregnant. I had a Tiffany Rose dress and a spare from Coast which wasn't a maternity dress but had an empire cut with gathering over tummy and looked great.
You could always not tell your sister until the last possible minute and just get a spare dress in case it is needed.
I did spend the months before my wedding wondering if dress would fit and only just squeezed myself into it on the day!

cookielove · 06/05/2014 20:03

chimchar it's called midnight but really it's navy :)