dress for a wedding for a frumpy, dumpy woman approaching 50 - the ultimate challenge!

[lifeinthemidlands]

Hi all
Would love it if you could help me. Need to attend a wedding in June and have nothing to wear. I'm 5ft2 inches, a size 12-14 with big tits, no waist and hideous thighs and knees. My upper arms are best kept hidden too. I have dark brown hair and light skin with blue eyes, and tend to suit strongish "winter" colours - anything like beige makes me look really sallow. Any suggestions (other than the obvious bin bag) gratefully received. The wedding will be fairly casual but would love something nice for a change. Making me look somewhat less grim could be your challenge of the week..
Thanks

Anyone up for the challenge??????

www.peacocks.co.uk/lds-dress-print-pleat-tea-pink.html

I bought this this week. I am a 16, (though Peacocks 14!) and it is lovely. Very flattering on my big bust and porky tum.

Ok, first of all, what are your best features?

And can we/you do anything to help with your view of yourself?

Whose style do you like?

Hmm - probably my best features are my eyes and lower arms. All the rest has gone to wrack and ruin (although wasn't much to begin with!). I quite like wrap dresses. I'm normally a very casual dresser and like White stuff, Fat face etc. I do however quite like some of the Phase 8 dresses like this www.phase-eight.co.uk/fcp/product/phase-eightLisette-Dress/202541315 but would need some sort of shrug to cover the arms and wonder whether it would look too bulgy? Quite like the tea dress in blue Madame (and an absolute bargain). Budget up to about 100.

This looks lovely
www.houseoffraser.co.uk/Eliza+J+Embroidered+Hem+Cuff+Dress/190733157,default,pd.html

I like the Phase 8 dress and that kind of style can show off your boobs and give you a waist. Personally (and, like you, I prefer to cover my arms) I'm not a fan of shrugs as they kind of tell the world that you hate your arms. Do Phase 8 do anything similar with sleeves? I'm afraid I can't search or link at the moment but quite a few places do similar styles to that one e.g. Damsel in a Dress and LK Bennett.

That is nice Mini and I love the colour, but think it might be a little too formal for the wedding in question (smallish reception in a pub).

Ooh I like the one MiniTheMinx has linked. It would give you a lovely shape.

I don't think it would look too formal. It's a wedding so presumably everyone will be a bit dressed up?

No unfortuatnely they don't Floisme - will have a look at your suggested websites. Thanks

Hmm - looking again at Mini's one. It certainly is lovely (love the sleeves) but feel it might be a bit flamboyant for the occasion. Will maybe make some inquiries about what others are wearing.

The peacocks one is pretty.

I do like this, but couldn't justify the price.
www.lkbennett.com/Clothing/Dresses/Lander-Seamed-Dress/p/DRLANDERACRYLICMIXBluePeacoat?nr=0&product=0

blue

print

magenta

leopard

navy

love this in blue

Mini That dress is misleading! I've tried it on. I'm size 10, 5ft 9 tall and it made me look fat all over with a vast arse. Avoid avoid avoid.

red

OP

I have the blue Mary Portas long sleeved No-Brainer dress that Tethers linked to and wore it to a wedding last year! It's very flattering & I had loads of compliments! I'm a 5ft 5 size 12/14 Brunette with a large chest & bit of a tummy! I paid full price for it though! (sad)

Love that Mary Portas one.... and I have a HoF voucher in handbag crying out to be spent

I thoroughly recommend Eliza J. And here is their House of Fraser sale page ...

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.houseoffraser.co.uk/Dresses/S301,default,sc.html#www.houseoffraser.co.uk/Dresses/S301,default,sc.html?prefn1=brand&prefv1=Eliza%20J&fix&spcl&ajaxsearchrefinement&brandTab=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.houseoffraser.co.uk/Dresses/S301,default,sc.html#www.houseoffraser.co.uk/Dresses/S301,default,sc.html?prefn1=brand&prefv1=Eliza%20J&fix&spcl&ajaxsearchrefinement&brandTab=1

the blue no brainer is fab

janesduffelcoat - what's the fabric like?

Thanks for the suggestions everyone! I like the no-brainer, but don't usually wear high necks as think it makes my boobs look a bit matronly - Jane can I ask (very rudely) how big you are in that direction? I'm probably an EE cup these days so really quite buxom. I like it in the black too but obv not for a wedding. I also like the Reiss dress very much but think t he slit may be a bit high - my thighs are truely gruesome. I've looked at your link Cows, and really like this www.houseoffraser.co.uk/Phase+Eight+Sassy+spot+dress/194236652,default,pd.html - they don't have it in my size but I may be able to get in somewhere else.
Thnaks for the woarning about the dress Mini posted.
Thanks so much for all the ideas everyone - it's so long since I've had to buy a posh outfit ~I'm not sure where to start. Where I work it's jeans and a top, and if you manage not to spill your lunch down yourself every day you're considered a snappy dresser.

Not keen on the spotty one, TBH.

How about this?

thenightsky, it looks so lovely in the photos, I don't think it would suit me though, I'm too short and too small, it would wear me! but great that you could warn OP, expensive mistake averted!

I love the spotty dress.