I look so fat! Need bra help for saggy boobs and I'm starting to hate my body thread :(

[moonstorm]

So I've just had dh take some photos of myself to have a look at a wedding outfit I'm wearing. I'm now having serious doubts.

I think I look ok in the mirror, but in the photo: my head is too small (an illusion due to the extra weight, I think), my ginormous (but used to be pert) bfing boobs are so low and seem to hang outwards I was aming for 'in and up' how did I get 'down and out'??? (I had myself properly measured as well and have Hot Milk bras).

All that is noticeable are my big saggy boobs, found tummy and small head. I bought some comtrol underwear, but istead of holding in and making me slimmer, they just reposition the fat..

How did I get like this? I have lost 7.5 kg since the end of February, yet I look just as bad - just flabby. I have another 7 kg to go - I am 5'3 and 67kg and my aim is 59 kg, so I shouldn't be surprised...

So much for going back to work and wowing them with my svelte (sp?) figure...How can I salvage this for the wedding???

[fed up and fat emoticon]

OK - if you're bf presumably you have a baby so give yourself a break!

Now - are your bras underwired as that makes a big difference to their shape in my experience - I wore underwired when bf especially for special occasions.

Now is the outfit right or do you need something else to wear?

I bet you look a lot better than you think and like most of us you are focusing on the areas that need improvement rather than your best bits. I know this as always look at my tummy first in photos which is my worst bit.

So I would if I were you do the following:

• get an underwired bra
• get spanx - they are the rolls royce of shapewear - the full slip is fab as smooths you out without cutting off your blood supply
• take a good look at your wedding outfit - is it good enough or could you find something better?
• book in for blowdry on the day of the wedding and get nails done if time/finances allow

Thank you for your kind words. I don't know where to get underwired nursing bras (I'm dubious about ordering online) I'm wearing a 32H at the moment, so they could do withmore support...

DS is 10 months, so I don't know that I can use him as an excuse for my weight, I always thought it was 9 months on, 9 months off...

I'll have a look at Spanx - I had a Next thing, maybe I should have just paid...

I am having doubts on the outfit - an IO wrap dress, but it was the only dress I found in noce fabric that fitted all over (bust/ waist/ hips etc.)

I am going to the gym soon...

Will he be feeding much during the wedding? A well fitting ordinary underwired bra won't do any harm for part of a day. I used this one here. I actually did convert it to a feeding bra because I hated the way my boobs looked in non wired bras so much! (I was a 32 H too)

Do you have a good bra shop near you where you could get measured - or just order a load from figleaves and try them at home.

And seriously 10 months is nothing especially when bf and it doesn't sound like you've got much more to lose.

The spanx slip is good for smoothing and you could double up with m&s control top opaque tights.

I bet you look fab though

Yeap by my 3rd I just wore normal underwired balconette style bras and fed by pulling them down as boobs just looked so dreadful in the non wired ones.

These underwired nursing bras are fab. They have a special softer underwire (apparently) to make them better for nursing boobs. I know £35 is expensive, but I lived in mine and wish I'd had when I was feeding my first. Figleaves often have 20% off codes. I also found them true to size if ordering on line.

He doesn't feed overly often (some days more, some days less) but I didn't want to assume he wouldn't feed IYSWIM.

I didn't think about doubling up on control underwear.

I'll have a look at Figleaves.

Thank you. I feeling a bit better now!

I'm

Get an underwired bra. It doesn't have to be a breastfeeding one. I'm bfeeding DC4 and I just wear a normal bra, it's fine and I look a much better shape. I'm 34G.

With regards to your shape, get a DVD and do it. I've been doing Your Fitness on xbox kinect for 3 weeks now. I do 20-30 min aerobics and 15 min yoga everyday. I've lost 7lb which is a bonus but I'm amazed at the change in my shape, even just after a few weeks.

How long until the wedding?

Oh moonstorm. I feel for you.
Firstly, try not to hate your body. Your body is bloody brilliant- It gave you a baby, and now it's feeding it! How brilliant is that! OKay, it takes time for our lumps and bumps to go down, but your body is amazing, and don't you forget it. :)

I have always been curvy and have the same problems as you, and though wrap dresses are supposed to suit me, they make me look awful. I find a 50s prom dress style is better for me.

I wore normal u/w bras all the way through BF to.

Re the spanx (I have the M&S version and they are 3yrs old and still work WONDERS!) I use the cycling shorts type ones that go right up to under your bra strap so the fat has no escape .

You dont have to be rail thin to look good. MrsCB advice was spot on only thing I would add is maybe a spraytan or fake at home (sublime bronze I find brill) a tan always makes you look healthy and if you really want to feel a million dollars a french manicure.

Enjoy the wedding :)

Just re. the Anita underwired bras I didn't get on with their sizing- the H cup wasn't nearly large enough. I think it's because they don't have DD or GG cups, so a 32 H is more like a 32 G in other brands.

I love how we're all confessing to bf in our underwired bras

And I so agree with planet regarding fake tan but know lots on here don't like it - but hey, I am a tad essex in my tastes

What colour is your IO dress Moon? And have you got good shoes/clutch etc?

Ha ha as I was typing it I thought hmmmm I bet its not popular on here! If its good enough for Pippa Middleton its good enough for me :)

Thank you all of you (I've been settling ds1 who just couldn't get to sleep tonight).

I don't often get upset like this, I think I just feel so much better inside due to the weight loss and when the outside doesn't look how I feel it's so frustrating.

I have the plum coloured dress (really nice ). It seems to fit really nicely, but looking at the photo, I think the bra is the issue - if my boobs were in and lifted I would have a waist, rather than a belly/ boobage general area, although maybe I am kidding myself.

I wonder whether the block colour is too much (I used to look better, but maybe a pattern would look better now I'm bigger).

I was looking at clutches and accessories today, partly why I took the photo so I could take it with me rather than carting the dress to the shops with a toddler and a baby!

I know this might not be very helpful but this American company do a massive range of different underwired nursing bras www.motherhood.com/Product.asp?Product_Id=911520361&MasterCategory_Id=MC29 and do international shipping. I bought mine in the states so am not sure how much shipping costs but they have made the last few years of feeding ok from a style point of view. They are so so much better under clothes than hot milk and the other nice looking but underwired bras. I really can't recommend them enough. I am a similar size to you op (and have very similar issues so you have all my sympathy!) and they make lots of my 'old' clothes fit again or just look better around the chest as you go properly up and in. I couldn't wait for the first month or so of feeding in comfy bras to pass so I could get mine back on again....

I did try the Anita but it's so high cupped if you are small of stature you would have to wear a polo neck for it not to show. These bras are really low necked and smooth and don't show under anything. I actually used to wear mine after I finished feeding DS1 as it looked fine.

I know ordering online is a risk but if shipping wasn't that much I would consider it maybe not for your wedding outfit but for the next however many months of feeding...

I'm all over breastfeeding in underwired bras, but how do you do it? Undo the bra at the back and pop a boob under, or stretch the cup down?

You think you've got problems? I just searched my bra size on Belsize77's link, and all it came up with was breastpads and a hooter-hider!

I soooooo want an underwired bra. :(

I wore my underwired bra while bf too. I bought some of those clippy things from ebay and cut the straps and sewed them in and hey presto!

sorry about that - just looked now. Strangely they go up to a 46 band but all the nice underwired bras seem to stop at about F cup

madmomma just stretch/fold the cup down and boob out over the top.

My 36gg boobs would not be seen out without scaffolding or an underwired bra.
No way Jose!
Breastfed both kids till around 18 months and think I only wore actual breastfeeding bra for a few weeks in the beginning.

Baroness, is this any good for you? Cup sizes are generous.

That Anita underwired breastfeeding one was shite, unless you favour the mono boob look.