Fashion and beauty cons we fall for....

[Dogsby]

conditioner in a pot rather than a tube is a LOT better

lip plumping lipsticks make a visible difference

a lipstick MAY WELL change your life

you coudl tell one masacara apart from another

that black clothes make you look slim

onyl if you stand always against a black background

"Detox". I'm sure its all bollocks. Just dont tox for a while, that's a de tox, well its a not tox. Your liver is perfectly capable of filtering out shite from your blood, all it needs is a bit of water and a lack of alcohol not a kit of foul tasting stuff I could have got from my gran's garden that cost £189

(Disclaimer: I have never fallen for this but so many people seem to, even shlebs. In fact, particularly shlebs)

30 minutes of walking a day will make you lose 2 stone

Avon 'Plump Pout' lip-gloss actually did make a visible difference.

So, they stopped making it. I think they were nobbled by the other make-up manufacturers.

water with added echinacea or some other essential ingredient. Bollocks.

That you need to replace make up after 6 months or else your eyes will explode. I have some make up that is ancient and I can still see!

suncream
i never bin mine

Hair products! They are all either glue or grease in a pot.

Moisturiser with DNA in

Anything advertised by people in white coats to make it look scientific.

pollywollypeptides, gamma rays 5+6+7+8.0000256, etc.

moisturising body wash
how the hell canit moisturise when it's on your skin for about a second

sort of same with shampoo and conditoiner you wash straight out
it's not a bloody miracle worker

Dry body brushing.

For GODS SAKE MAKE SURE ITS ALWAYS TOWARDS THE HEART!

What would happen if you brushed away from the heart? Would it fall out?

lol at body brushing

hot cloth cleansing - IT'S A FLANNEL!

Toner. No, it wont condition your skin.

light reflecting illuminating face shit that bounces light off your big hooter & undereye bags so no one can see them.

Yes Touche Eclat I mean you.

diets that claim to 'not be a diet and addresssing your emotional eating isshoos'

Lol at body brushing, i wouldnt dare brushaway from the heart, no idea why, and im a bloody nurse

That bf makes you skinny in 4 weeks to a size 8
Ditto 'running around after your kids'
What bollocks, id have much more respect for dannii, denise, mylene, tess etc if they just told the fucking truth

i do prefer shiney clinique lippy to no.7, if i can't have nicely packaged lipstick what is the point in living?

every fucking autumn every fashion editorial gushes on about 'military' like it has jsut been invented and not wheeled out again for the 20th consecutive year