Who wants to know how to have a wonderfully smooth bottom?

[LovelyDaffs]

DH is a bottom man (not of the Friday night thread variety) and I have spent years attempting to have lovely smooth silky skin on my behind. I think I've even asked on here. I've tried exfoliating, moisturising, expensive creams and no so expensive ones. Don't get me wrong I'm not sitting on a cheese grater arse, but somehow just not a silky smooth peach.

I had a brain wave today and I now have a silky peachy bottom - anyone else want one?

Ooh yes! Ahem - purely for scientific reasons, of course.

Well, yes, but are you going to make us guess?

Ooh go on then.

Tell then.

Strap a loofah to your DH and then go at it in the shower? :)

did you have rampant sex on an exfoliating type of carpet?

Sandpaper drawers?

Plastic bloomers greased with 8 hour cream?

Keeping a family of pet nibbly fish in the bath?

Salty bath? Whenever I'm on hols and swim in the sea my bum is peachy.

ooh you could combine the two goodegg

Do tell!

its genetic. i have never done anything to mine and its baby soft [boasts]

so pleased i get to mention this on mumsnet. its so hard to drop it into normal conversation

polish arse with silk hankie

Sorry, lost broadband connection.

Cracked heal cream is the answer. There was a thread recently about it being great for those spots some people get on their arms, ketosis something. I get them a bit and so does dd1 so we both tried it and sure enough the spots went.

I was in the bath this morning and for some reason though I'd try it on my bottom and sure enough already I'm as silky as can be.

Hope it helps.

I would like a silky bottom! Can you tell me how to excise cellulite too?

Ah - I've got some of that somewhere

Thank you (I think)

Thanks OP I will try it :o

Report back with results please. If I find a cure for cellulite I'll happily tell you, after I've made my millions of course.

ah good ole flexitol, is there NOTHING it can't do?

d'you all remember when we went MAD for waitrose BBB? not for our arses though, natch

The best body scrub is a mix of salt and oil, it sloughs and moisturises at the same time. If you drop a few soluble aspirin in it's even more effective.

Having said that I do love heel balm and think it's fab for dry knees!

ooh, I have those spotty arms and so does dd1....and my arse can use any help it can get!

Can I nominate 5318008's post of 22:09 hrs for best reply of the year?

I just can't stop laughing. I don't know why it is so funny but I am actually snorting here. Fantastic.

Btw do you actually own a silk hankie?

It's brilliant I only put it on this morning. Dd1 has the white spots on her cheeks (face not bottom ) she's only 11 and super aware - the heal cream got rid of them after a couple of days.