Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

What should we do about Step-son's (7) new haircut?

29 replies

BigusBumus · 02/07/2010 16:20

Seems a petty subject, but I could do with advice, before my DP comes home from work.

I have a DS(7) who is mine from previous marriage, and a DS (3) from my forever relationship with DP. He also has a DS (7) from his previous marriage who stays with us most weekends / holidays etc.

We have a terrible relationship with the ex-wife, who seems to be the worst mother in the world at times, (I have spoken about it allk on here before, but can't find the post). BUT, we keep the peace, mainly to keep things even and calm for DSS when he is with his mum.

So, DSSs mum has just dropped him off to me (DP back at 5.30). She has had the sides of his head completely shaved (grade 1) leaving an inch wide mohican from from to back of his head. Its absolutely dreadful.

What would you do? He's a placid boy, does whatever his mum says, and also whatever his dad says. I am tempted to suggest to DP that he uses his own clippers (DP is bald) to shave the mohican off.

We suspect his mum took him to have it done on purpose to get at me. She makes lots of snidey remarks about me and my children and refers to me as "Lady La de da"

I feel embarrassed to let him play out the front looking like that, in a crap "what will the neighbours say", kind of way.

Shall we shave it all off?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 02/07/2010 16:22

No, I'd leave it. Let your DP sort it out. Poor lad though

Bonsoir · 02/07/2010 16:23

Your poor, poor DSS, and I do understand how embarrassing it is for you.

I think you need to consult with your DP in private. Have you said anything to DSS directly?

thisisyesterday · 02/07/2010 16:23

i would do nothing. it's a haircut, it doesn't really matter does it?

Acanthus · 02/07/2010 16:23

Leave it. She may be using the child to get at you (poor kid) but you shouldn't do the same. two wrongs don't make a rigt and all that.

thisisyesterday · 02/07/2010 16:23

he might actually like it

and, she is his mother.

Greensleeves · 02/07/2010 16:24

No, don't shave it all off. That would be completely inappropriate and not your place at all

You think she styled his hair deliberately to get at YOU? That sounds a little implausible to me

What does he think of his haircut?

Why is she the worst mother in the world?

usualsuspect · 02/07/2010 16:27

Leave it ,Shes his mother she can have his hair cut how she likes ..who gives a toss what the neighbours think

littleducks · 02/07/2010 16:29

I dont think you should shave it off

Does he like it?

If he doesnt like it much you could buy him some cool hats so he doesnt get sunburnt

But whatever you do dont say anything negative about his appearance

I do understand the embarassment thing, but get over it, dont react, your kids will be teenagers and may dress in some truely hideous ways

CaptainKirksNipples · 02/07/2010 16:32

He is seven so surely he had some input in his new haircut? I'd get him some gel and show him how to spike it, if she has done it to piss you off then that will show her it hasn't worked (and probably piss her off more)!

geraldinetheluckygoat · 02/07/2010 16:34

just embrace it. its just hair.

GypsyMoth · 02/07/2010 16:35

actually,you could change it....because would he be allowed that style in school?? and his dad would have to initiate the change,i think you should keep well out of it tbh!!

Greensleeves · 02/07/2010 16:36

if there is a toxic game of emotional ping-pong going on between you and the ex, you are just as engaged in it as she is

that much is obvious from your OP

and wtf is a "forever relationship"? Are you Mystic Meg?

Bonsoir · 02/07/2010 16:46

If exW is as toxic as you say, don't rise to the bait of the haircut or you might find DSS has a piercing or a tattoo next time...

JodieO · 02/07/2010 16:51

What if he asked for it to be like that? Don't blame the ex for everything. Why make assumptions that she did it to get at you?

Why make him feel bad about his hair by showing you dislike it or that you're embarrassed to let him play out? That's worse than if the ex did do it to spite you imho.

ivykaty44 · 02/07/2010 16:53

leave his hair - don't mention it to him or the mother and let the weekend go on as normal and certianly let him out to play.

FranSanDisco · 02/07/2010 16:59

So you think his mother made him have this haircut against his wishes to get at you? Bizarre! Let his dad sort this out and get over yourself.

HoopyFroodDude · 02/07/2010 17:03

"forever relationship" [snort]

Lauriefairycake · 02/07/2010 17:03

Do nothing about the haircut.

And if you think she is getting at you ignore, ignore, ignore.

And you do sound a teensy bit precious saying that about him playing out - if I were you I would say to him in front of her "what a brilliant haircut, let me get some gel to spike it up".

The whole point is to make the boy feel good about himself so if you're embarassed you need to swallow it as it won't be good for his self esteem.

Missus84 · 02/07/2010 17:05

I think you sound petty - you really think she cut his hair to get at you??

Personally I think a little mohican looks cute on young boys.

Tablefor6 · 02/07/2010 17:06

Hi I'm new on the step-parent board/threads.

Looking through old threads on here I don't think any situation is exactly the same..

DP's exW doesn't take DSS for haircuts or trim his nails etc, we do all his grooming..

I would gel it as mentioned earlier, and boost the confidence of the child by saying how cool he is

zookeeper · 02/07/2010 17:08

do you have to do anything???? That you would make such a fuss and even consider cutting his hair makes me think that you're not nearly as reasonable as you appear to think you are.

Tablefor6 · 02/07/2010 17:08

x-post with Lauriefairycake fully agree with the gel & confidence thing!

Lotkinsgonecurly · 02/07/2010 17:14

Completely agree with the gel, make it seem he looks wonderful which will really help with the confidence. (Does anyone at school have the haircut?) And it'll be will have grown by next week.

drloves · 02/07/2010 17:16

lol ... op chill a bit . Its only a haircut (ok ,its a stupid haircut, but.) its not a major disaster - hair grows !.
He`s 7 , he probably thinks its cool !

Fruitysunshine · 06/07/2010 01:52

I saw this exact haircut on a one year old baby a little while ago - it made him look like a mini thug. I was speechless.

Flip

1 2