What should we do about Step-son's (7) new haircut?

[BigusBumus]

Seems a petty subject, but I could do with advice, before my DP comes home from work.

I have a DS(7) who is mine from previous marriage, and a DS (3) from my forever relationship with DP. He also has a DS (7) from his previous marriage who stays with us most weekends / holidays etc.

We have a terrible relationship with the ex-wife, who seems to be the worst mother in the world at times, (I have spoken about it allk on here before, but can't find the post). BUT, we keep the peace, mainly to keep things even and calm for DSS when he is with his mum.

So, DSSs mum has just dropped him off to me (DP back at 5.30). She has had the sides of his head completely shaved (grade 1) leaving an inch wide mohican from from to back of his head. Its absolutely dreadful.

What would you do? He's a placid boy, does whatever his mum says, and also whatever his dad says. I am tempted to suggest to DP that he uses his own clippers (DP is bald) to shave the mohican off.

We suspect his mum took him to have it done on purpose to get at me. She makes lots of snidey remarks about me and my children and refers to me as "Lady La de da"

I feel embarrassed to let him play out the front looking like that, in a crap "what will the neighbours say", kind of way.

Shall we shave it all off?

there is an adorable little boy at dd's nurseryy who has a mohican and his parents are rocker types i think it looks sweet... not like a thug! in fact i know loads of kids with this style, its a fashion thing right now, my dss has had one and its not a big deal, hair grows really fast

also snurking at 'forever relationship' good luck with that

I agree, I would HATE that on my step child. But here's what to do in this situation.

You say you have the boy on weekends and holidays. So he's going back to school on Monday? And I assume when he's at school he's largely her responsibility (as she has him during the week) ?

So leave the haircut - make no comments about it (positive or negative) - and let him go back to school. The school will have a word with her (if they say anything to you, refer them back to her). And the next time you see him, I expect the haircut will be resolved.

Never rise to the bait. Be the more mature person.

Good luck!

PS - it's very hot at the moment, I definitely think he might need a hat to play outside!!!

You know I know how you feel. This sounds really silly but my son kept being dressed in weird stuff by my exes fiance (soon to be my son's step mum) and it was hard to know what to do about it. (she has two older boys and the clothes were hand-me-downs)

To begin with I didn't say anything but then he kept being sent to nursery in ankle swinger trousers and t-shirts which didn;t cover his tummy properly, at which point I had to say something as he looked awful.

It stopped for a week or so and then she sent him back (my ex was at work so she dressed him) to me in double denim which didn't fit and made him look like an extra in Grease. Poor little thing! lol. It really did annoy me though.

I solved the issue by quietly confiscating eveyr item of clothing that didn;t fit him and bagging it up. All the items are still sitting in a bag in my wardrobe ready to be returned on request. Funnily enough they never have been!

I think you should do nothing for now, as annoying as it is because a. the mummight be trying to bait you or b. your step-son might have asked for it and really liked it! Wait for a month or so and then take him yourself to get a new haircut.

:-)

My dss 15 was going on about hi-lights recently (which he has had done before) ghe was complaining that mum still hadn't got the bleach and he wanted it done before going back to school.

Anyway i gave him a kit that i'd had, went into explicit detail about how it should be used and get someone (mum or big sis) to do it for him. He got home mixed it up, put the whole lot on his head and bleached it up, but chickened out and took it off to soon leaving him an orangey yellow shade.

It was pretty shocking, people kept saying have you seen his hair, did you do that to him!! so i felt pretty peeved about it - shouldn't have trusted him i guess, offered to put it right/improve it for him but he wasn't bothered.

the other result was that we kept hearing how very much his mum liked it, on and on raving about how it suited him, - i guess SHE thought I'D done it on purpose and was over compensating in her false enthusiasm for it!!!

sometimes people are going to think what they want to - there's nothing you can do to change that - and i really don't think you should try to change his hair either.