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Step-parenting

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Original poster

He's taking the piss isn't he?

46 replies

LightCake · 01/06/2022 19:00

I have an important appointment tomorrow that could go on a while, it coincided with a day my husband had a work trip so he couldn't stay home.

My lovely best friend is coming and staying at our house to look after our toddler whilst I go.

Not due to have DSC tomorrow, it's their mothers day, she's asked DH if they can come here tomorrow as she has something she wants to go, he's said yes.

I've told him that they can't come here because neither of us is in and friend is coming to watch toddler. He thinks it's fine because they basically look after themselves anyway (8& 11).

I'm not wrong in thinking this is an utter piss take am I? I can't expect my friend to come and look after 3 kids no matter how old they are!

He thinks it's fine because he'd leave them for a few hours by themselves whilst I go out anyway (may be longer than a few hours!) so not expecting friend to do anything but still... She's still got to be here feeling responsible for 2 extra kids.

I'm fuming I've told him he needs to either be here himself now or tell ex change of plan and they can't come in the day.

Im thinking I'll probably even see if I can drop toddler off with my friend at her house instead of her coming here so there's no one in at all.

OP posts:

SoggyPaper · 01/06/2022 19:04

Yes. He is taking the piss. He gets to pretend he’s being helpful to his ex while burdening your friend (and you - because you’re worried about it).

he will simply have to tell his ex that he is away with work so he can’t help her.

SoggyPaper · 01/06/2022 19:05

Good plan on not having your friend in the house at all so he can’t force the situation on her.

OhJanet · 01/06/2022 19:14

Agree with @SoggyPaper. That sounds like the best way to go. He's a cheeky fucker. I wouldn't be happy if I was your friend.

TheArtfulScreamer1 · 01/06/2022 19:17

Yep totally taking the piss I'd be fuming if I was the friend who turned up to that situation so think a change of location for your toddler to your friends house is the way forward.

Lostmyway86 · 01/06/2022 19:18

That is so frigging cheeky. I have DSC that age and do you know what, they're bloody hard work! I also have toddlers and would never leave a friend with both. 100% arrange to drop toddler to your friends so no-one is in, ring her now to sort and tell him ASAP so he an deal with the fall-out.

funinthesun19 · 01/06/2022 19:20

He’s most definitely taking the piss.
Its not fair to throw another two kids in the deal. She didn’t agree to look after three kids. 1 toddler is a lot different to 1 toddler + an 8 and 11 year old. And yes, it does make a difference that they’re his kids. Does she even know them? She’s doing this to help you (her best friend), not him. She’s definitely not there to facilitate him blindly agreeing to help his ex.

Chamomileteaplease · 01/06/2022 19:21

Yes, definitely drop your toddler off at your friend's house instead!

Moodycow78 · 01/06/2022 19:23

If I were your friend I wouldn't do it, 3 kids is too many. He's totally taking the piss!

gamerchick · 01/06/2022 19:26

Do it. Empty house, no childcare.

MadMadMadamMim · 01/06/2022 19:27

He's totally taking the piss.

That would be the end of our friendship, frankly, if I was your mate and you went along with this. I'd feel absolutely used.

Onemoresleeptogonow · 01/06/2022 19:33

So he can offer help and support to his ex but not you?
Bigger issues here op..

FirstFallopians · 01/06/2022 19:34

Quite aside from how disrespectful to your friend it would be to go along with his plan, does your DP not see how categorically stupid it is to piss off a responsible and trustworthy adult who is happy to do some occasional babysitting? Is he that shortsighted?

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/06/2022 19:36

Outrageous. He’s awful! I hope your appointment goes well.

SoggyPaper · 01/06/2022 19:39

FirstFallopians · 01/06/2022 19:34

And to piss off his wife to appease his ex…

Olsi109 · 01/06/2022 19:43

Yes he's taking the piss - sounds selfish to me too how he just said ah it's fine.

I'd defo arrange to drop toddler off at your friends.

Just to add, why is he leaving an 8 year old and 11 year old home alone for a few hours? I would probably leave my now 11 yo for a while but I would never have left my 14 yo to look after an 8 yo when she was 11. Sounds like he's not really arsed about them.

aSofaNearYou · 01/06/2022 19:58

Yep, taking the piss. Definitely drop your toddler off with your friend if you can.

Lollypop701 · 01/06/2022 20:24

Wtaf! You arrange childcare for your dc and he thinks he can just piggy on the back of it. Take to df and ignore messages. Bloody hell

Youseethethingis1 · 01/06/2022 21:41

That's cute that he thinks he gets to palm off his kids on any female in his orbit in order to play the hero to his ex, wiling or not. Lovely.
OP this isn't just a piss take, it's an astonishing lack of respect for other people. I can't believe he thinks this is acceptable and I'd be making arrangements for this to fall squarely on its arse.

candlesandpitchforks · 01/06/2022 21:45

I vote for dropping toddler off at your friends and not rushing back (subconsciously or otherwise)

He's taking the mick I'm gonna guess and say he does this in other areas.

He will rush back if he knows your not in or gonna run home, suddenly his oh they can look after themselves when he finds no willing uterus to look after them !

Starseeking · 01/06/2022 22:24

I'm guessing he'd be furious if 3 SC that he hadn't planned to look after suddenly dropped in his lap for the day. Ask him to imagine how he'd feel if someone did that to him.

And yes, arrange for friend to look after your toddler at their house, so if he wants to leave an 8 year old and 11 year old at home alone, it's up to him.

Starseeking · 01/06/2022 22:24

*3 DC

lickenchugget · 01/06/2022 22:27

Why is he doing the ex favours, which fall to other people? Refuse, OP. Get your friend to take DC out in buggy to park before they come if he doesn’t sort it.

SandyY2K · 01/06/2022 22:33

Im thinking I'll probably even see if I can drop toddler off with my friend at her house instead of her coming here so there's no one in at all.

I'd do this.

Yea...he's taking the piss.

FlickyCrumble · 01/06/2022 22:37

I’ll be willing to bet he never has the 3 kids on his own?

Blendiful · 02/06/2022 00:06

Absolutely taking the piss and also an 8&11 YO shouldn't be being left home alone either IMO. I would definitely drop toddler with friend so no one's home and he has to sort it or be responsible for them being on their own.

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