Is there any way to appeal some.housong help for a step family?

[Strugglingstepfamily]

We're a family of 5 (soon to be six!) But to the government we're classed as a childless couple due to living arrangements. We're still expected to provide a roof for all of our children. When baby is here after childcare costs and bills we'll be left with a £100 to feed and clothe a family of six, which is impossible. Is there any way to appeal for any sort of housing/ UC help? Both of us work FT but rents and childcare are astronomical.

Where are the other children living at the moment?

Mine lives 50/50 between her dad's and ours but for all terms and purposes he seems like the primary carer and is being very difficult about switching the CB to me. My stepchildren live with us on average 11-12 nights per month.

I'm sorry, this is going to sound really harsh, but did you not think of this before deciding to have another child?

Surely your focus should have been on making sure the children you already have have a comfortable home life first.

Why should the government have to offer you support? I understand circumstances change (in terms of children from precious relationships) but you knew your situation before deciding to have the new baby.

I think the only option is for a second job/higher paid job for one of you (I know the latter is not easy!) or moving to a cheaper area.

but for all terms and purposes he seems like the primary carer and is being very difficult about switching the CB to me

why does he have it in the first place? would you likely receive more in Government support than he does? You can appeal it with the CB people but on a 50/50 basis, I am really not sure which way it would go.

Yes, we did think of all of these. I asked CAB and all different calculators said that we'd get the childcare element of UC which would make things ok. My exH also agreed that he'd give me the CB of our daughter but now out of scorn he doesn't want to.

Our exiating children live a fairly comfortable live, they're definitely better off than before. My partner has always received some sort of government help and I've never have and he reassured me "they'd never leave us homeless/starving". Well it turns out that until a couple of days ago it didn't dawn on him that his kids dont count at all.
Moving is tricky (would.o my increase school commute costs as well as wrap around care). I was able to find casual employment last year and it was not until I found a permanent role that we decided to TTC.
If we're lucky we'll be able to claim those UC and things will be ok. If not I think he'll have to reduce hours and figure out a way to work on his own.

Believe me, I'm the last person who wants to.claim benefits my family raised me to always be independent, it's only out of need and circumstances I can't change (like location).

@CanILeavenowplease it was only out of convenience. When we both divorced I was the higher earner and all CB has gone to all sorts of clubs (dancing, swimming, piano, etc..). After I was made redundant, paycheck for reduced to less than 1/2 of what it used to be. Before our divorce we also had to pay it back in taxes. I'm the one who needs it more at is stands. The 50/50 is a grey area and nobody seems to have a clue

I dont think UC will help - as you already have 3 children as a couple....
your best bet will be to talk to CAB and ask to see a specialist....

baby wont count towards housing until >1yr and even still depending on where you are overcrowding doesnt count for much for housing...where I am parents often end up sleeping in the living room and DC in the bedrooms..

How many rooms do you have where you are now...? could all the DC share if they are not there that often or your DC and the baby share and the Step children share ?

or move somewhere cheaper?

To UC as we stand we're childless. Once baby is born we'll be either considered as having 1 or 2 children depending on resolving the issue with my daughter's CB.

My SS refuses to share (his one condition to have a sibling) the other two share and baby will have to sleep with us for a while.

CAB, CAL and working families were all pretty useless. I'd pay for some definite advice but even then I don't know we're to turn to.

Moving somewhere cheaper is the most viable option but it will increase other things like commuting and wrap around care.

For benefits kids can only be part of one household, so I'm not sure what you are asking for - if they are domiciled with you and they would count. It's your former partner you need to talk to

I thought maybe someone and been able to appeal somehow. I'm actually surprised there isn't a charity just dedicated to step families.

I think you and ex can claim CB for one child each. Would that be a help?

Rainbow we only have one child. The way he saw it, it was "fair" for him to keep claiming it because I was having another baby with another man and that way were splitting CB.

When it comes to housing, only children you receive child benefit for are included on the application. It is strange really because one minute you’re a family and all of the children are equal, and the next minute they’re not because for benefits and housing purposes the children are non existent to you. That’s one of the things I found hardest about blended families, especially in a 50/50 situation.

Exactly @fun! They almost discourage people to become blended families or play the system

Regarding your DD, who sees to things like dr's appointments (if any) who gets her hair cut? who does school call first if they need to contact someone. Does she have all her 'stuff' kept mostly at one house or are most things duplicated.

In other words who does most of the admin around parenting her?

Not sure if that would really make a difference in law but it seems to me that that parent should be the one that claims the CB

If the stepkids live full time with you and your DP receives cb for them then they count but your kids won’t. In that situation it would make sense to go to court to get more access and their cb and if you can’t make them live more with their dad. Sorry but you can’t afford to keep them in your home otherwise.

I agree you should have thought of all of this before getting pregnant, like people who aren’t on benefits do. So you need to make do with a smaller house like the rest of us do.

We're still expected to provide a roof for all of our children

I looked into it. It was an informed decision (as much as I thought it could be). I'm not looking for housing or any of those elements just the childcare element so I can afford to work

Who does most of those things? It depends... If she's sick on my day I'll take her. School events we try both to attend. Haircuts I cut her hair but always have

So you opted to have another child, because the additional benefits would cover the costs? [Hmm]

" We're expected to put a roof over the head of all our children"..... erm... they're your children... So yes. YOU. Not benefits. Stop having children if you aren't earning enough to provide for them, without relying on benefits to enable you to afford them

And people wonder what the fuck is wrong with this country

I don't quite get why it is a surprise to you that you are expected to house your children. It could just be your wording confusing me.

Why would you not be expected to house your children? Who should?

Shouldn't this have all been sorted out before having an additional child if you were aware of the situation beforehand?

You seem to think it is someone elses responsibility to sort it out.

No I don't think it was someone else's responsibility. As far as UC go, if it's my right why shouldn't I make use of it? I believe that's what it's for. I've paid enough taxes in the past so don't feel bad about it. What I'm most shocked of I'd the grey area 50/50 is and nobody seems to know anything

So you and your boyfriend conceived a child together banking on his idea that it's the government's job to provide your desired housing (SS refuses to share a room and that was a condition of you bringing another child into the world) and provide you with more money? Haahaahaa. I'm staggered @ your worthless partner 'they won't leave us homeless and starving'. You chose to procreate with a guy who has three other children and thinks the government should hand over more money and provide a roof over all this kids' head in the desired area and size? What a catch! And that there should be charities and more help for people to keep sprogging with partner after partner?

No, there's no appeals because you fancy more money and more spacious housing.

Once the baby arrives you'll get more UC but children of opposite sexes are expected to share until the age of 10 so two-bedroom is what you'll qualify for wrt housing benefit element.

You don't get CB for all these kids so well, you classify as childless.

I'm actually just trying to get childcare element of UC, but because nobody was giving me an answer I had to look for other alternatives. Working families has helped and now I know I'll get it,so that means I can stay in FT employment which is the one thing I was looking for.