Hi all, new year-new thread, as the lovely petal suggested.
So, DSD came to us and saw DD for the first time in 19 days. Considering that DD (5) has spent half the week with her "sister" for the past 3/4 years it has been a pretty tough adustment for everyone.
Initially, DSD was pleased to see DD and acted the part well enough. But she had a friend with her and soon enough the cracks showed and after an hour her and her friend were snuggled on the sofa with the 3 lounge blankets and refused to let DD have one.This resulted in much crying which I was trying to calmly put a stop to.
DH, thinking this was a usual tantrum/ outburst from DD immediately reprimanded her at which point I snapped at him to back the hell off considering the emotional stress that my DD was under. I flipped - told him we have been treading on eggshells around DSD's shit behaviour since the start of December yet my DD is supposed to behave impecably despite the fact her own dad has recently got engaged ^and moved housde (a happy time but one of change non the less)
I ended up going out as soon as DD was asleep, leaving on fairly good terms with DH but basically avoiding any "family time" with him, DSd and her friend.
I have to be honest here and say.... "i dislike her" I think she is a maniplative, machiavellian, two faced, nasty bitch. Yes, she's 12. Yes, this is extreme. But it is how I feel.
I have no idea what to do with these emotions but I know I can't continue like this.
In every other way DH and I are sooooo happy. we love each other dearly. But this little mini adult is making me miserable and I don't know what to do.
I feel like her mother is in the house with us all the time she is here. I feel like everything I do is being reported on and although I know I shouldn't care (I am a grown woman with confidence, a good career, confidence in parenting etc.) I really do.
It's like being invaded in your own home by a 12 year old child who first of all is in an adult womans's body - and secondly is the mouth piece and mind of her mother.
I can't take anymore... but why should I let go of DH - the best thing that ever happened to me and the best man for me... ?
Also, DSD has become increasingly "off-the-rails" since she hasn't been with us. She made a video on FB of her and her friend running "black people" down and using the "N" word. I was mortified considering that my own friends and family are friends with her on FB. But because we are now not not parents.. (DH has had that stripped of him by DSD and her mother saying it's only necessary for DSD to come once a week and even that is because they have to spend some time with him in order for his ex to "have a break") in light of her only coming here once a week - DH doesn't feel like he can tell her off about it.
Help!!