Best Disney Dad quotes

[theredhen]

I quite often see women posting some daft comments made by their OH's about their children.

I remember one being "he is doing nothing wrong" while 16 yr old boy plays x box in middle of kitchen while xmas dinner is being cooked.

I wanted to share this weekends little gem.

"DSS is being very good lately, he is chatty and does as he is told".

Five minutes later OH asks DSS (age 11) to come and do the wiping up, as it's his turn. I counted OH asking DSS 8 times, this was interjected with lots of whining and whinging from DSS which continued even after the 8 asks.

Ten mins later, OH asks DSS to have his shower. This time he only asked him 7 times and physical removal of him by OH, which was turned into a fun event.

And immediately after that he asked him to pick up his clothes from the floor. This was only asked 4 times.

The irony in all this was that OH had asked DS and DSS 3 times the day before to turn off the games console and it was made quite clear to me, that he thought DS was out of order for not doing it immediately.

Sometimes you have to laugh.

Well if you didn't laugh you'd cry! It's that wonderful condition called "bio-blindness" !!!!

"I take them to KFC, don't I?"

As quoth my ex, regarding why he does nothing vaguely parental bar paying his legally obliged quantity of money per week.

"Why do you have to stir shit like this, you've got a real problem with 'dbd' haven't you!"

When I asked him to talk to her about why she was doing funny phone calls to my mobile. Then the itemised phone bill arrived with the many, many calls to my mobile wasn't followed by an apology.

Or "If your mum asks tell her cobbled bought it" when he gave her something he knew her mum had said no to.

not my dh, but someone's . . .
"Our house had got so many toys it's like toysrus in there, but they STILL just want to kill each other!"

Anything that begins with 'I hope you don't mind but...' is usually priceless.

yes goodlooks- I love that one

ME- OK so we've both agreed on this and we will apply that rule.

DH- Yes- Sure

Next day

DH to dbd- Of course darling you can bring that toy to school- make sure you hide it.

ME- But we've been told off by the school and agreed not to send her with toys anymore.

DH- But I feel so guilty to be divorced I can't say no to her she's not doing any harm.

Disclaimer-
That was 6 years ago- things a much better now.

Interesting to hear that the "he/she is not doing any harm" line is spoken in numerous households. In other words, just so long as the child in question isn't killing themselves (or anyone else) or setting the house on fire, then practically anything else is acceptable, in pursuit of keeping them happy. Remember - the key to successful parenting is to take the line of least resistance at all times ......

I know Petal- that one makes my ears bleed.

I have to admit we have now succeeded on ground rules for all children and we back each other up at all times. That was a lot of work, not with the kids, with DH

"But it's different" (said in a whiney voice) ....

..... when pointed out that one of his children is doing and getting away with something totally contrary to the family rules I thought we'd agreed upon together and which are diligently applied to our daughter.

Too right it's effing different - that's why I'm pointing it out you prat (polite version). Never mind different, it's favouritism and a fine example of your lily-livered parenting (for some of your children) because you're petrified the little darlings will vote with their feet if "upset".

Specific example, re: Halloween.

To SD (in gushy tones):
"Oooh, so you've been trick or treating have you. How lovely ! What did you dress up as ? Oh my, I bet you looked fantastic, I'd have loved to have seen you. Did you frighten anyone ? (ha ha ha) What did you get given ? Wow ! Ten pounds and all those sweets ! Aren't you a lucky girl - don't eat them all at once will you. Oooh, sounds like you had a wonderful night"

To DD:
"No you can't go trick or treating. You know we don't think it's right so stop going on about it."

Okay .... can't stop SD trick or treating on mother's watch and it might be mean to rain on her parade, but what the hell is wrong in changing the subject asap instead of making a big thing of it like SD's done something marvellous ? Indeed, what's wrong in saying to a 12 year old child that he's pleased to hear she's had a nice time but actually he doesn't agree with T or T ... and then, if necessary, explain why he feels so strongly about it usually. After all, that's what our daughter gets though she's 6 years younger than SD and won't be T or T when she's 12. I hate these kind of bloody double standards where DP's principles get chucked out of the window depending upon which child he's speaking to.

cats-

DH "What are you doing tomorrow love?"

ME "Going shopping for Dad and picking DD up to come with me cos she's doing some shopping and said wants to see her grandad" ( my grown up daughter lives approx 200 yds off my route to supermarket and my dads house and helps me with cleaning etc etc when she comes }

DH (tutting) "More bloody extra petrol - why do you always have to pick up DD" (presumably he means the 200yds worth of petrol !)

And this from the man who has bought his piss taking 23yrold resident son a car and lets him live with us indefinitely for a pittance all inclusive without any deadline or even ball park idea of when he might leave and chauffers him into town after work (11pm finish) so he can leave his own car (and petrol) at home and have a drink with his mates.

This not only is my DHs petrol being used but also means he cant have a drink during the evening - we cant watch a film that ends after 11pm or he'll miss the end and we cant have an early night as he doesnt get back from taxi-ing his son till about 11.45pm.

All I want to do is go up one little poxy side street off my beaten track to pick up my daughter to come with me for the day to me and my daughters mutual benefit.

And what do I get ? "More bloody petrol money"

Will you tell 'im or should I!

But Suda - "he isn't doing any harm!" !!!!!

(Petal now hides behind sofa in case Suda throws a heavy object).

Now that is funny ! Are any of you thinking of joining the meet up ?

Lucky for you Petal I'm a typical girl (as in 'girls cant throw') so I am just throwing you my best filthy 'I am not amused look' ok.

I can't throw either - it's definitely a girl thing.

So I would probably miss you Petal !

ME: You spoil her WAY too much!
DH: No I don't! I know I give her everything she asks for but I definitely DON'T spoil her

Priceless!!!!

There is hope though.

Comment from DH the other evening, " I know he is my son, but it can't always be everyone elses fault!"

Is that a light I see at the end of the tunnel :o

DH is so NOT a disney dad - but SS2 thinks he is entitled to inherit the world.

When told he had to share a (single) bedroom with his older brother at his mother's house - got on phone yelling at DH 'Why can't you just buy SS1 a flat - all mum is asking for is a little financial support - you are ruining my life. '

DH went ballistic (bless him).

Sometimes it makes me sad though that DH feels he can't feel proud of his sons.

"she's no worse than your DD".

"DSD is now thirteen. My dd is almost three......hmm"

He didn't really say that?! . That's almost funny if it wasn't true!

DSS was moaning the other day because now I have moved in he has to tidy his room chuck everything under his bed now, do wiping up and not allowed on the computer for 15 hours a day, only for 12 . And DP feels sorry for him, of course DS is expected to do at least that and more without so much as a whisper of complaint.