I think my child might have Aspergers, but why have her diagnosed? Thoughts needed..

[Sazisi]

She's only 3 years old (4 in March), and she's not doing anything we can't cope with (so far), and I'm just thinking what's the point in having her 'labelled' at this stage?

My nephew has Aspergers, and I looked after him a lot when he was little. I've noticed more and more similarities between them, I suppose since 18months ago.. recently it's been playing on my mind a bit.
DH thinks she's just exceptionally bright, but I think there's more to it than that. He thinks we should have her assessed though to stop me fretting I don't think I am fretting, but I am feeling all nervy writing this so maybe I'm in denial

DO you need to know either way?
Do you think she needs or will need extra help at school?
Do her "niggles" interfere with everyday life?
Do YOU need help with her?

IF yes then as for assessment imo

Thanks

My answer for the last 3 questions is not yet (although your last question..not sure is more apt; parenting methods which have always worked with DD1 often backfire with DD2 so maybe I do need help)

The first question.. the issue is beginning to feel like a scab I can't stop picking and I just keep going around in circles. I think I'm afraid of getting a positive diagnoses, hence my reluctance..

i would think it would help when it comes to school incase extra help is needed my ds has HFA and has one to one at pre school to help with social interaction and applying for statement as i want his life to be lived to the full and would hate to see him struggle apart from the interaction his no other real problems

i can deal with all his needs but im noticing as he gets older a new problem arises but at least the support is already there to help with this he is 3.7 now and with the support is improving no end

its up to you though depends how her social interaction is with others whether this will create problems in the long run , will she need more help within school environment i wanted all this in place so teachers etc would understand his needs and deal with them as a child with needs not a disruptive or loner child who tends to do his own thing

i wanted it for my peace of mind as no special care can be given to an individual other wise meant to be nt where as he now has one to one and he is coming along great with this

if he didn't have this he'd be left on his own doing his own thing and not improving

You don't ned a dx for dla etc but you do need to be in the system.

Keep bumping this for Amber or Bullet- they have a lot of insight into this.

Where we are, a DX doesn't get you access to SS help anyway and ds1 has a statement regardless becuase he needs it. So the factor for us w\as the explanation over all else I think, for us yes- but also him. DS1 is different and he needs to know as he grows that there is a reason for it that doesn't equate to him being bad or anything. Not sure I have explained that right- hope you can see what I mean!

However kids with AS vary; at 3 we thought ds1 was a little genius and it hadn't even crossed our minds otherwise. If your child would benefit in any way now then early is always best- SN Nurseries can be available, for example.

I ahve 4 kidsw btw, 1 with a dx of AS/HFA, and another with a dx of ASD.

One thing to remember is that it can take a lot of time to get diagnosed and then for any measures to be put into place. So if there is a chance that your dd may need extra help at school then it is worth starting earlier rather than later.

It can be difficult to get a statement for an undiagnosed child depending on the LEA.

An undiagnosed, unstatemented child will be expected to obey school rules or be punished: a diagnosis of Aspergers will mean that teachers will have to take this into account and judge her on what she actually can do. And a lot of potentially difficult situations can be avoided if the teacher is forewarned of a child's difficulties.

You wouldn't be human if you weren't worried about some person saying "Yes, it's (whatever it is)".

Is it worth investigating? Only you can really know, but if you're writing and asking, I'm thinking you probably could do with some words of wisdom from someone who can see your dd and what her strengths and weaknesses are.

What are they? Are you able to say what the niggles are?

But what I'd say is that there are plenty of reasons to be positive. Einstein, Mozart, Leonardo da Vinci, Bill Gates the billionaire - all are believed to be on the autistic spectrum. I'm not saying everyone is a genius, goodness me no (I wish!) but every person with any sort of disability is a person, a loved, valued person on this earth. Knowing how to help a child is the best gift a parent can give. If you think your child might need a bit of extra something, it's worth discussing it with your GP or health visitor to see their views?

Hi

I was asking myself the same recently.

But have decided to go down the diagnosis route. This is mainly as DS is having social difficulties at school. I want to know if it is really Aspergers and overall get him the best support I can.

If it wasnt for the social difficulties I probably wouldnt have as he is a happy fulfilled child.

Good points from others to inform your decision!

Sazisi - What do you see as symptoms of AS in a 3 yr old? I'm curious.

Just thought i would say hi, my dd1 has AS and we got a dx for her a few months ago. Dd1 is almost 5 years old, it took us 2 years to get a dx. We knew she had AS (a gut feeling) so in the end the dx wasn't important. We claimed DLA before we got the dx and so far she has needed no help at school (just a understanding teacher), she's a year ahead with reading, writing and maths so doing fine at school. She has had a few problems with the social side of things, she has no best friend in her class but has alot of older friends and she's a very popular child (so the teacher tells me).

A dx may help with problems she may have in the future including problems she may face at school. She might one day need a statement or 1-1 help with exams etc.

Hi,

I know that it is daunting, and it is true (in my limited experience) that when you enter 'the system', everything seems to snowball.

Having said that, ALL children deserve to be given the best opportunity to thrive. My DD (3.1) is being assessed for her developmental delays, and now has a dx of epilepsy, probably just as a side issue. But there is a massive waiting list for almost all areas of intervention.

DD has a 9 month wait ahead for portage. Physio and OT won't even give us an idea of a date.

What I am saying is, a dx of Aspergers is only a 'word' if you want it to be. But it is a 'key' if you want to use it. Without going for assessment, you can't make a choice about whether to use the dx or not. By going for it, you can just choose to carry on as you are, or to access help available if you need it.

Thankyou so much everyone for your replies; it's invaluable hearing your experiences and views.
It's such a relief to finally 'talk' about this. It's as though I've been holding my breath for ages without realising.

CoteDAzur I don't know a lot about Aspergers syndrome to be honest, it's mainly that she reminds me so much of my nephew that put the idea in my mind. I have an older daughter who shares none of these characteristics.
I'll try to describe her (possible) symptoms though (some of which might not be symptoms at all but would appreciate clarification on if anyone knows):

She had an extended biting career, during which she would bite people randomly for no apparent reason. She still bites sometimes, but only in a struggle; I view this as an improvement (don't know if this is related to AS but nephew was same)

She's pernickety about certain things, eg will insist that her blanket is completely straight and rumple-free. Insists her sandwich is cut into 10 pieces then consumes them in order

She talks in an odd voice, deep and flat-toned. Often with a West Country accent (she's never met anyone with a West Country accent)

Her vocabulary is very precocious. Her concentration span is amazing; she can sit patiently and draw or do pretend writing for ages.

She talks constantly, asks questions all the time, often when she already knows the answer. It's like she wants to have things constantly reaffirmed.

She's socially..I don't know how to describe it, but she'll go up to a kid in the park and grab their hand and say "Come on let's go down the slide!", and the kid usually pulls away and looks suspicious and keeps their distance She has some friends, but they are all family friends I suppose.

She has a fiery temper and is easily wound-up by her big sister. She screams and shouts and bangs and I find being confrontational in any way makes her worse; sometimes she just needs some space.

She is really sensitive to sounds and smells, noticing smells that I wouldn't.

Her physical co-ordination is not great.

She seems to enjoy the idea of other people being naughty (not sure this is an AS trait?) Nephew like this too.

She gets called 'a character' and 'quirky'. Ditto nephew when her age.

There's probably more but it's taken me ages to write this so I better leave it for now

Sazisi - I asked because I've seen (and taken) quite a few AS tests and can't imagine those questions applying to toddlers. And I have a 3 yr old DD who shares most of the traits in your list. Some of them though (like, talking & asking questions the whole time) I think are typical 3 yr old behaviour, though.

Cheers Cote, yeah I was wondering if a 3 year old can even be tested?
I see where you're coming from, and maybe (hopefully) she is just bright and really eager to learn, but there's something about the way she asks the questions thta I can't put my finger on. DD1 was an early talker and very chatty too, but DD2 is so different the way she goes about it. Which 'symptoms' does your DD not share?

She has quite a few charcteristics which would imo go against a diagnoses: excellent imagination, not fussy about food (except for the sandwich cutting thing), doesn't seem to mind surprises or changes from the routine.

Just looked back and realised I;'ve been wirting 'diagnoses' for diagnosis

www.autismresearchcentre.com/tests/default.asp

Professionals use a variety of tests from toddler age upwards. That link is the test series for the Autism Research Centre run by Simon Baron-Cohen, for example.

Imagination is misunderstood in ASDs - we can imagine a lot, but can't always explain it well. But we normally do need routine.

How does she cope at preschool/nursery? My DS was DX'd with AS at 3 and a bit. he was terrible with adult direction until he started pre-school with a 1-to-1 and has become dream child in just one term!
I would see your GP for a referral anyway as it wook a year to reach DX for us - you can always cancel appts later if you decide not to go ahead. But you don't want to be starting from scratch if you decide in a few years time to go ahead.

I guess you need to think about just how much extra care she needs - how is her sense of danger and safety? Will she get dressed etc unless you do it for her? Does she run off or not listen to direction? Have you had to abandon trips out or due to her behaviour? Does it limit the places you can go? Have her sibs noticed the differences? She may not cost you much money but if she is eligible for DLA it can always go in the kids' child trust funds.
This checklist is useful too.

My DS has never had food issues (LOVES all fruit!), is v chilled out in an 'approved' environment and his games seem hilariously imaginative to us (although diagnostic play tests revealed they were quite limited in ways we hadn't realised). Once a place or person is 'on his list' he is quite comfortable but new places are always tricky (he has to explore it all like a big puppy) and new people are ignored completely.
The main diagnostic difference between general ASD and AS is language delay (ie not so marked in AS.)

Sazisi- she sounds so simalar to my dd1. Dd never stops talking, asks the same questions over and over, has a huge tantrum if she doesn't get her own way or if someone doesn't play by the rules, she speaks like an adult, sensitive to sound and poor motor skills. She loves drawing really detailed pictures and is great on the PC.

Dd1 has a lot of food issues but dd2 who has ASD will eat anything

Dd1 has a huge imagination and makes up some lovely stories.

Sazisi - DD has the following from your list:

(1) Ditto for "pernickety"

(2) Not sure about the voice/accent. She is trilingual and has different voices in each.

(3) Not a great vocabulary but that is probably because she knows x3 words for everything in her vocabulary. Ditto for concentration span. She also colors very fine details and takes great care to stay inside lines - very unusual for her age, I am told.

(4) Ditto for "talks constantly, asks questions all the time, often when she already knows the answer"

(5) Ditto social awkwardness - very few friends, and doesn't seem to know how to interact with other kids

(6) No fiery temper (first point where DD is different than yours).

(7) Ditto "sensitivity to sounds and smells".

(8) Ditto sub-normal physical co-ordination.

(9) Dittor for "enjoys other people being naughty". For DD, this is "being a baby" - whenever she does something right (use toilet, not cry after falling down, etc) always says "It's babies who pee in their pants/cry when they hurt/etc".

(10) Ditto for "gets called 'a character' and 'quirky'"