I think my child might have Aspergers, but why have her diagnosed? Thoughts needed..

[Sazisi]

She's only 3 years old (4 in March), and she's not doing anything we can't cope with (so far), and I'm just thinking what's the point in having her 'labelled' at this stage?

My nephew has Aspergers, and I looked after him a lot when he was little. I've noticed more and more similarities between them, I suppose since 18months ago.. recently it's been playing on my mind a bit.
DH thinks she's just exceptionally bright, but I think there's more to it than that. He thinks we should have her assessed though to stop me fretting I don't think I am fretting, but I am feeling all nervy writing this so maybe I'm in denial

I worry that DS has AS but his problems are only social so I'm not sure.
He is in Reception and is very bright but cannot engage with the other children at all. If they even say hi, he covers his face and blanks them.

But he has no communication problems, nor any obvious play issues. He has imaginative play, it isn't rigid though he is bossy. He takes turns and is keen to play board games with us and dd1. He has empathy for his sisters or if either of us hurt ourselves. He is very affectionate and emotional. He loves to give and receive cuddles. He has no food issues,no sensory issues,no dyspraxic tendencies and does not need routine although he hates supply teachers. No phobias.
However, he thinks way too deeply for his age and worries about everything far too much.

Buckets, can I ask what you mean by diagnostic play tests? In case I'm missing something obvious.

Sazisi, only the sandwich thing would unduly worry me from your list.

Buckets, she's actually pretty good on safety as in I don't have to worry about her running into road etc, but she does tend to climb up too high in playgrounds (usually on things which aren't designed for climbing on )
We havent' ever had to cancel outings or forego any place due to her behaviour.
In pre-school she's well-behaved, but likes to work alone. She's a bit odd when I pick her up, she looks blank then kind of gets overstimulated when she sees me.

My gut feeling IS really that she has AS; I noticed more today which I hadn't tied in before: she has some little rituals when we're leaving the schoolyard after pre-school, which I have to act through with her and she gets well stroppy if I deviate from her script. She's been doing the same rituals for ages but it only today occured to me as possible symptom.

Marne, and everyone thanks for your thoughts
I will ask GP for a referal to get the ball rolling in case we do need to access resources further down the line. We are in Ireland and I@m not sure what's available here (I'm guessing not a lot!).
I think clarification is also needed because DH and I are in disagreement about it.

Hi Sazisi,

I have a 3 year old with different issues to your daughter (receptive language delay, no social communication at nursery though plenty at home and on playdates).

I think you are wise to recognise that this is a balancing act and that the real issue is not "does she have Aspergers?" but "is she likely to need extra help?". In my area you seek additional help via the "under 5s service" so there is no issue with diagnosis. I have made it clear that I wouldn't go through any diagnostic process for ASD at present anyway because we have a strong family history of outgrowing these kinds of issues and there is no problem with this.

I think that in your position I would throw myself into researching the local system and understanding the link between accepting "intervention" and accepting diagnosis, bearing in mind the experiences described earlier in this thread. Then you can stay in charge of the process. As Tclanger says, you want to stay ahead of the game. It's 9 months since I first went to a speech therapist and tbh we've really only had "assessments" not "help". And that's in an area with no waiting lists! Things have improved for us but if that hadn't been the case I'd be regretting not having "entered the portal" earlier.

Myredcardi, we are lucky to have a diagnostic centre in our town and DX for pre-schoolers is done over a series of creche-like sessions by a multidisciplinary team. The parents go to a kind of group therapy type thing which was really useful too. As well as general observations by nursery nurse, SALT and clinical psychologist, they do a set 'play' test called the ADOS and also an interview with the parents called the ADI-R. DX is made by the clin psych after assessing all these reports.
In other areas of the UK, DX can be made subjectively (or refused if they are anti-labelling) at one appointment by a paediatrician. It really sucks, we need to get a MN campaign going.