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Original poster

Do you ever have those moments when you suddenly realise that your DC isn't "normal"...?

35 replies

BriocheDoree · 06/08/2008 19:19

This isn't a negative post, just an odd experience today. Bumped into DD's SALT in the supermarket with her three kids. Youngest is DD's age. They were all chattering away normally, and walking round with their mum without having to be put in the trolley so they wouldn't run off, and when it came to pay they were helping load / unload the trolley rather than climbing over the barriers, running up and down in front of the doors and jumping off the benches. And yet DD is so much better than she used to be! It's only when you see NT kids that you suddenly realise that maybe your's is a bit more like hard work sometimes. I'm not complaining, just made me think!

OP posts:
Aefondkiss · 06/08/2008 19:25

yes, I had some friends staying recently, my ds is a couple of months younger than my friend's wee boy, but seems more than a year younger... I do compare my ds all the time to NT children ( I know I shouldn't), but it does underline his difference and stops my denial.

cyberseraphim · 06/08/2008 19:30

I know what you mean - DS1 is better in so many ways and we are thrilled with how much he can say and do compared to last year. But then you meet an NT 4 year old chattering away about science fiction, history, last year's holidays - it is a massive reality check.

TotalChaos · 06/08/2008 19:40

. yes.

Hecate · 06/08/2008 19:59

yup. Happens a lot.

Daft thing is, that I am so used to the way my kids are, that nt kids seem really odd to me. They don't seem 'normal' at all.

Hecate · 06/08/2008 20:01

oops, pressed something there.

Meant to say that I notice when kids their age are talking, that the way mine talk is very different. I understand that it is my kids that don't talk 'normally' or behave 'normally' but looking at the other kids I still think it's them that are weird!

sarah293 · 06/08/2008 20:01

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deeeja · 06/08/2008 20:29

Oh yes!
Today, saw a friend of mine with dc the same ages as mine, and they actually walk with her down the road, non-stop, it is quite shocking! My dh was astounded that they could be so confident that their children would just walk with them, we can never relax like that. The conversations and the complex instructions their children understand, eating without being told to with every mouthful, not having to have food cut up, and eating everything on their plates. They all play together and talk to eachother aswell. It is like another world, completely!

Aefondkiss · 06/08/2008 20:31

cybers that is how it is with our ds, I do love that he is making good progress too.

sphil · 06/08/2008 20:57

Snap. I was with my brother's 6 month old baby last week and was amazed at the way he was turning to every noise and tracking people as they walked past.

bullet123 · 06/08/2008 21:14

Yes. It brings it home especially when people say things like they are worried that their 20 month old isn't talking yet, or that their nearly three year old has only just been potty trained. Which they are perfectly entitled to do, it just brings it home a bit more strongly about Ds1's difficulties.

Original poster
BriocheDoree · 06/08/2008 21:33

I remember about a year ago I was at a park with a friend. When we left the park DD was off doing her own thing as usual. Friend was walking along with her two year old holding one hand and her 4 year old holding the other and I remember thinking, "How does she train her kids to DO that!". Now I realise that this is how NT kids behave. You know, they just act like that and you don't have to negotiate to get them to do it, or keep repeating "Hold mummy's hand on the car park, hold mummy's hand on the car park" in an undertone!

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SixSpotBurnet · 06/08/2008 21:49

Yes, more and more now that DS3 is a bit older (he's just turned four) and the contrast between him and nt children the same age is just huge.

Tclanger · 06/08/2008 21:52

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BlueDragonfly · 06/08/2008 21:53

broiche, does your DD have a diagnoses?

Sorry to be blunt but just in your posts on this thread she sounds like my DS2

Tclanger · 06/08/2008 21:54

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misscutandstick · 06/08/2008 21:59

i have a friend who we hadnt seen in ages, we bumped into her at a shopping complex. Her children are roughly the same age as my elder 3. She was asking how they all were, when i asked her how her eldest (15yrs) was she replied "hes off with his friends, gone to see a film... wheres your {DS1}?" I didnt want to reply "hes giving me a break by being with grandma - and actually hes probably hiding underneath a clothes rack pretending to be an undercover jetpack-agent-man"... and opted for "oh, hes doing really well thanks" and changed the subject.

On a more recent occasion, we were in a toddler group with DS4 & DS5 (3yrs and 2yrs) and there is this other little boy who i consider to be a little peculiar - but hey, live and let live... until he was looking at DS5 (preDx PDD), who was currently licking a small baby mirror after having just sampled a patch of carpet, with an expression that said "wow, you're a bit wierd" OMG, the boy is only about 2 or 3 with some very strange mannerisms, if he considers himself to be the 'norm' how bad must things be ??? , and hes dissing my son already

bullet123 · 06/08/2008 22:08

Ds1 is actually very good at holding my hand and walking with me, but he's very far from being NT.

mm22bys · 06/08/2008 22:25

I tend avoid gatherings with NT children, but even so, DS1 astounds me. He is 4 now. His ability to learn, how is body works, he is quite chatty now, I should be thankful but if it weren't for DS2 I would just be taking it all for granted.

Just a pity it had to come to this to appreciate DS1 (not that I didn't of course, he is my own PFB...).

But DS2 is his own person, none of this is his fault (DH's favourite line) and what really concerns the specialists we barely notice now, it's just his normality...

ouryve · 06/08/2008 22:33

Every time I take the kids out of the house.

Sidge · 06/08/2008 22:40

Yup. More and more often the older she gets

At home in our little bubble she's just DD2, but when we leave the house it's getting so obvious.

MsDemeanor · 06/08/2008 22:55

Does anyone find that their older oddbod teaches their younger NT sibling ghastly things? My Aspergers ds is an truly appalling role model for my little NT dd. But they love each other passionately, so I'm please with that

2shoes · 06/08/2008 23:05

oh yes my nt ds(16) loves teaching dd (sn) weird and wonderful stuff

Original poster
BriocheDoree · 07/08/2008 08:41

No, BlueDragonfly, DD doesn't have a diagnosis. What does your DS2 have? Trying to decide who best to take her to for a dx!

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LeonieD · 07/08/2008 09:06

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Aefondkiss · 07/08/2008 10:07

misscutandstick I use that phrase - he's doing really well/ or he's fine, it is so much easier, I just think if it was someone who I knew well, they wouldn't have to ask!

Tclanger, I know what you mean about thinking that your child is doing really well then getting a bit of a slap in the face reality check - ds had an OT appointment in June, I thought he was really good (which he was for him, but obviously not by NT standards), the report when it came through made me sob! I just wasn't prepared for it.