How might you know that your child has autism ?

[TheodoresMummy]

I have posted before about my DS and won't bore you with details again just now. Actually, I don't really know what to say about him anymore, which is kind of why i'm posting.

What made you think that your DCs might be autistic ?

What are their autistic traits now ?

Do they go through periods (hours ? days ?) when they could be NT ?

How are they 'different' ?

DS is about to have his 2nd Pead appointment and I feel like I no longer know what I should be mentioning.

The only early sign for ds1 was that he didn't point.

Have you seen the first signs website- it's helpful.

My son has AS and most of the time appears NT but then he goes off bouncing and flapping in his own world and not even hearing us when we speak to him and we remember that he is not quite as other children are. That was the first big clue that something was wrong really at 2.8yrs. Before there were small things but they were only of fleeting concern, like being obsessed with spinning things or finding certain motor skills difficult. We never had a problem with eye contact or being interested in other people.

Have a look on the NAS website - they have a list of symptons. Make a list of everything you consider a bit strange but don't worry about what the books say as not all the symptoms apply to all children all the time. Don't forget all the things he is good at as sometimes this may be a clue as well.

Good luck.

Thanks for replies.

Niecie - sounds quite familiar.

DS has had his hearing tested and it is fine, apparently. I swear he can't hear me most of the time though. He is not ignoring (although he sometimes can be). If I wave in front of him or whistle and he looks up at me, he looks genuinely surprised that i'm there.

His gross motor skills are very good. His fine motor skills are too, although limited by his interests.

I know that look of surprise TheodoresMummy!

We have recently had a period of terrible behaviour (hitting, kicking, shouting, scratching, biting), but hopefully things are settling down now.

It all followed changes in routine. His nursery hours changed from 3 afternoons to five mornings. He also stays for lunch now as I have started college and don't finish in time to pick up. He loves nursery and is happy to stay for lunch. I think it is the amount of change that he has found hard to cope with as well as the new things themselves.

I have thought that he may be autistic for some time. He sees a speech therapist and she and our HV agree that there is 'something'. When we saw the Pead 7 months ago, she didn't seem overly bothered. Nursery have always been very cautious (they don't like comparing children and seem to accept him as he is - which is lovely, of course), but this year we have all agreed that he is going to need support if he starts school (I may HE). He is going to be assessed and poss diagnosed, but nobody will evenhint at what they think he may be/have !!!

My husband thinks he will be fine as he grows up and my parents think he is just a small boy and there is nothing wrong with him.

I feel like I am going a bit mad with nobody to talk to about all this.

wish you l;ots of luck

my ds seems similar to yours my ds has not even started kindergarten

feel for you and hope you get some answers and help from the right people

i have no support here in austria

Theodoresmummy,

Yes what you say about your Hubby and family sounds familiar. You need to trust your instincts, My DD who is 5 as recently been given a Dx of AS.

I really feel for you going through this, i remember it all to well (it was hell), everybody DDs nursery knew that something wasnt quite right, but nobody would stick there neck out and just say what they thought it might be, TBH looking back i think if she had been a boy they might have.

The most early signs for us was that she never showed any interest in playing with other children, she also hand flaps when excited (but tbh i think alot of NT kids do to) she also has a very short concentration span with most things, unless its something she has choosen. Eye contact isnt to bad unless she feel stressed, The seletive hearing is a big issue for us at the moment and this seem to have got alot worse since she started school in sept. I hope that once she settles in this will improve again because at the moment its driving me potty lol .

At home she is an angel and is probably better behaved than most NT kids, friend of ours that dont have kids to compare her to dont believe that she has AS.

I hope all goes well for you, and hopefully a Dx for your son will open new doors for you all.

cupcakemummy - for you having no support. Is that because you have no sympathetic family around or is it an Austria thing ?

twocutedarlings - My DS used to take no notice of other children unless they approached him, then he would scream and sob and cling to me as if he was petrified. He spent his first year at nursery playing alone or seeking out adults to play with, but this year he seems to be developing some play with other children. It's difficult to tell what this is like though because he doesn't talk to us in the way I see other children talking. He will answer questions, but doesn't offer much other wise. He seems to stick to the same people for the same games, i.e. races in the garden with several of the boys, playing on the bus with one boy in particular. His play is very repeatative (at home too). He plays imaginatively, but it is mostly copied from tv or books or something we do at home. But how else do children learn to play with new ideas otherwise ?

I'm very confused.

I can really relate to how you are feeling. I agree with twocutedarlings, you have to follow you instincts. I think since your son is still quite young too, if he isn't so badly affected it is hard to tell until they get a bit older.

My ds1 has dyspraxia and hypermobility syndrome. because of the overlaps, he does exhibit a lot of autistic tendancies, though we are lucky that what we called his 'autie moods' are getting less frequent. He did have periods where he seemed NT, just like how you are describing but over the past year these periods are less and less mainly because of his physical problems.

I thought ds1 might be autistic because of his behavioural issues, very routine bound, meltdowns, lack of speech, no social skills, very weird way of developing speech, would sit and stare into space for hours, obsessions, toileting issues. The list goes on and on really, but it is hard when they are having a good day, it makes you question yourself.

I'd get a list of symptoms and see if that helps you identify the areas that concern you with your ds1. Then you could take that to your paed and point out your concerns clearly. Has he had any other assessments?

ds1 learned by coping too, but the difference was that he would copy exactly what was said/done down the the last detail. My other children learn by coping but can develop their own ideas from that.

like today, they are playing with duplo. The dts are 2, nt, and make all sorts from it. ds1 at the same age would be shown how to make a tower and jsut keep building a tower over and over. the boys can think, and will add a square to the top to make a lollipop, or stick loads together to make 'legoland'.

He hasn't had any assessments as such.

He has been seeing a speech therapist about a year and a half. His speech is a lot better. He has lots of vocab, but he just doesn't communicate in the same way as his peers. It's hard to explain.

Saw the speech therapist (new one) last week and she says the same as the old one, that the main concerns are with getting his attention and attention span.

Nursery feel that he has difficulty processing info fast enough (again getting his attention can take a lot of effort). He also has a lot of repeatative play. I have often felt that he needs to be shown how to play with things, which limits how long he will spend with something.

He has often seemed overwhelmed by busy situations and noise. However, this no longer sems to be an issue. We went to fair last week and he couldn't get enough of it. Even went on the dodgems. When things like this happen, I really doubt myself. Maybe I have the issues and am projecting them onto him !!??

know exactly what you mean. My dd is just 4 and is at prechool - went 3 afternoons last year and is nwo doing 5 mornings (just 21/2 hrs). She is so much worse at preschool this time round. Last time she used to get really upset at snack time and this was her main problem, screaming, shouting and getting very upset. They did have some success and she did get to sit down sometimes without upset however this time she doesnt want to go to school , she doesn't want to go home, she doesnt want to sit for snacks and generally has a lot of meltdowns there. Her behaviur at home is generally better although we do have the same sort of things happen. Just at home I can control it easier obviously boundaires are easier at home than school. She does hand flap when excited and has problem with eye contact. Her speech is very good and she is very bright and can read to the level of a 10 year old. Concentration is better on the whole although she has a tendency to flit again when not directed. Her imaginative play is excellent, again most of it is frombooks or TV like you've said. She's on the list for a speech therapist (been waiting 5 long months) and i think this might help as it is her receptive speech that she has a problem with ie she seems to have a mental block sometimes processing what's being said to her and this then results in a meltdown. Sorry for the long post but just to let you know you're not on your own especially when you doubt when she has "normal" days i dont know what the answer is i'm afraid but i know i'm glad to read that someone else has a very similar experience.

The thing that first got me badgering the HV about ds1 was that he seemed to be deaf. I could stand behind him, call his name, make loud noises and he didn't so much as flinch. There's a family history of hearing problems so deafness was my first thought.

At pre-school age the things that made him stand out were his lack of speech and his tendency to wander round the room in circles humming to himself while ignoring everyone around him.

With ds2 the signs were much more subtle. He was actually fairly sociable and had something about him that seemed to draw people to him. He had obsessions even when he was very young: circles, spinning things, and the colour red. He didn't point, except just once on his 1st birthday. Even now at 4.5yrs he only points at things using his middle finger. Unlike ds1 he didn't have any difficulties with fine motor skills or gross motor skills. If anything he was the exact opposite and is almost cat-like in his ability to balance, climb, jump etc. He can seem very NT at times, and people are often surprised that he has a dx. Then something happens and it suddenly hits them that he really does have SN.

I think the thing that probably summed it up best for my two was that there were things that they could do that they really shouldn't have been able to do but also things that they should have been able to do but just couldn't/wouldn't. Their development was very much disordered.

I know what you mean. I even had the HV say to me, 'oh, stop thinking of him like that' and the preschool insist that he was 'just a bit slow'. It is really really hard.

speechwise, ds1 was always slightly odd. He learned to communicate using his own made up sign language. Then he had therapy, but we moved away so he didn't really have his first words until he was about 2.5. He didn't sing until about a year later. He learnt by mimicing, and often didn't actually understand what he was saying. He still has poor language, jsut seems to forget nouns. He has poor comprehension, I have to emphasize the key words in instructions, like when talking to a toddler.

attention span is a huge issue for ds1 too, he needs a lot of support in school because of it.

I think even if you do have doubts it is best to be on the safe side, because waiting lists are so long for any therapies. ds1 has missed out on so much that later the ppl who work wiht him have said he should have had jsut because I couldn't get heard.

My two boys both have problems with noise and both have headphones to filter it out. They also both love going to the fair and the noise there just doesn't seem to bother them at all.

Theodoresmummy, we had this kind of "now you see it, now you don't" thing with DS1 for a long time too.

What eventually pushed us down the route of getting a dx was that his behaviour both at nursery and to his younger brother, who was one at the time, became so violent that we felt we had no alternative.

I think if it hadn't been for that, we would not have pushed for a dx and in fact in some ways it might have been better if we had not.

'in fact in some ways it might have been better if we had not.' - how do you mean, Dinosaur ?

hi

very quickly my mil has said i have spoilt ds

i have only given time and patience which i am now lacking
Kindergarten was a muddle and placed in wrong class

all distressing for ds and i

now only have a place out of town
i have no car!

should a nearly four year play for a short time on his own

ds also says i should not be soo tired

hope this makes some sense
ps kindergarten is all play and no organised activitvities as such

Part of the problem with diagnosing AS for example (don't know so much about ASD which seems to me more severe and therefore more obvious from a younger age) is that at times they do seem like they are just developmentally a bit slower than other children rather than having a particular syndrome. For example, as Theodoresmummy said, they can avoid playing with other children when their peers are starting to play together but then you find that they do develop some skills at a later date.

I agree with twocutelittle darlings that all children hand flap and bounce around when it excited, but I am finding that DS1 is growing out of this a lot more slowly than other children.

I think by the time he is an adult he will be difficult to spot in a crowd, iyswim, but he isn't at the moment as he isn't developing in quite the same way as other children.

One of the earliest things that always struck me about my ds, was how much more 'babyish' he seemed than other babies at toddler groups. He had no communication skills, even the ones that small babies seem to have instinctively. He was never bothered if I was sitting near him or not. He would just crawl right across to the other side of the room, and not even notice whether I was there or not. He never seemed interested in toys, but would always become fixated by something, although I found it difficult to figure out what it was.
As he got older, I realised he didn't tell me when he was thirsty, and I would leave a sippy cup within reach for him at home. He was either completely placid or screaming his poor little heart out.
When he was 18 monthsish, I started getting more worried. I found the chat test on-line and he failed it. Iwent to the gp, but it took me almost a year to get a referral to a paediatrician and a dx.That was considered fast.
Now he is getting worse. This morning he attacked his baby brother, and he has started hitting me quite frequently. If he is looking at something, he can't bear for someone else to touch it.
Inceidentally none of my other children handflapped and bounced around quite like my asd ds. He has alot of repetitive behaviours.He paces rooms, touches doors and walls, he constantly counts, and says the names of shapes, and picks out colours. This distracts him from the actual purpose of toys,and is the only way he knows how to 'play', he does the spinning thing, and has to colour match everything. He has also learnt letters, and has started parroting them everywhere too.
On a good day, my ds comes across as a little strange bright boy, on a bad day, we don't leave the house and he looks severely autistic.
I worry about his future, and my eldest ds is saying that he will always look after him, which just makes me feel

TheodoresMummy - only in that he's done fantastically well in mainstream, and most people would not realise he had a diagnosable special need, but would just think of him as a rather geeky brainy boy. But he has this diagnosis, which he doesn't know about, and I rather fear it may be a sort of millstone round his neck.

But of course, I didn't have a crystal ball...

1 bump in case anyone around this evening wants to contribute.

TheodoresMummy - I've probably come across as rather unhelpful - I am trying not to post too much about DS1 on here as he doesn't know about his DX and I am feeling rather sensitive about it all - but if you want to contact me off board by sending me a CAT thingy then by all means do so, I would be very happy to share more of our experience with DS1 off-board.

Hi
just to say I am in a really similar position. Found everyones input really helpful. Especially the is he, isn't he type stuff? Hope all goes well for you and your lovely boy.

Now you see it, now you don't - oh so familiar.