How might you know that your child has autism ?

[TheodoresMummy]

I have posted before about my DS and won't bore you with details again just now. Actually, I don't really know what to say about him anymore, which is kind of why i'm posting.

What made you think that your DCs might be autistic ?

What are their autistic traits now ?

Do they go through periods (hours ? days ?) when they could be NT ?

How are they 'different' ?

DS is about to have his 2nd Pead appointment and I feel like I no longer know what I should be mentioning.

[ladygrinningsoul]

That and the appearing not to hear when I am talking to him and standing right next to him. But I now understand (from lots of conversations along the lines of "do you want a drink" repeated several times followed by "OK, no drink then" on my part, swiftly followed by "Yes drink!" from him) that he either takes a while to process what I have said or doesn't understand that he is supposed to answer me.

Dinosaur - I am seriously considering sending DS to a (private) school for geeky brainy boys rather than state mainstream. It seems to me that he would need a lot less extra help at the private school.

[2mum]

My son ticks every box for the symptoms. Apart from he was very young there has never been a time ive thought he was NT.

[jessy1971]

hi would love to chat to anyone i have three chldren with learnin difficulties and love to talk to parents that understand their ages are 13, 10 and 8

[twocutedarlings]

This thread has really open my eyes, as my DD has only recently been Dxd im stil sort of in a bit of denial, but like alot of have said the "now you see it" "now you dont" i think is whats making it hard for me to get my head around things. But reading this im sat here like a nodding dog some of they things posted discribe my DD to a tee.

Dinosaur - can i just ask if there is anything in particular thats helped you DS do so well at school, my DD has just started MS school in sept and after an awful start, she is now doing quite well. Like your son she is extremely bright, i would love to say that she is only mildly effected by her AS but as she is still really young i know i need to keep an open mind.

[oliandmimismummy]

Hi everyone. Reading your threads and on the verge of crying. DS ages 8 recently diagnosed with ASD. Quite late I know but as he is nearly normal and just a bit weird slipped through the net. DH and I did think he was more babyish than other kids his own age but everyone just told us that it's because kids develop at different rates. Anyway, had a meeting with his teacher yesterday and she was telling me that he doesn't like playing with his classmates in the playground, talks obsessively about pc games and recoils at any physical contact. This was all new to me as he is just a normal child to us, he plays with friends (not from school), okay he likes playing on the pc but which child doesn't and he's very loving at home and will give me a kiss and a hug. Anyway feeling thinking about what the future holds for him.

[Dinosaur]

I have to say that the copyright on "now you see it, now you don't" belongs to my lovely friend Bink!

ladygrinningsoul - I have (in a complete betrayal of my principles) been considering private school for DS1 - but I worry that it would be too competitive, pressured and conventional for him (we are in London and as far as I can see, that is what the private schools which are accessible to us would be like, anyway)

twocutedarlings - he has always had an IEP, very good teachers and an excellent SENCo, and he has the sort of HFA which means that concentrating things is not a problem for him - whereas I know a lot of children on the autistic spectrum find it much harder to stay focused and on-message. And he's been at a very good school which has a lot of experience of autism and where the teachers don't freak at what might easily be considered unacceptable behaviour in a more "high-faluting" environment!

[oljam]

Hi all, this is my very first posting here although have been skulking for quite some time. I am so confused and worried for my oldest son, he's just turned 5. I think he may have Aspergers or Dyspraxia. He did a lot of hand flapping as a baby and dribbled constantly till he was 3 years old. Now to replace the hand flapping he has what he calls a twirly whirly, (just something he can twist in his hands) this could be anything, a pencil, a spoon, a long piece of meccano, he uses a stick at school because I won't let him take anything out of the house. He often plays alone at school, and is quite happy at break times telling stories with his twirly whirly, without interacting with any of his classmates. The playground attendants tell me that's what he does all the time. His concentration span is terrible, ten mins tops at anything. He can't or won't dress himself, definitely struggles with shoes, socks and buttons. His communication skills are excellent, his speech has always been good and he's always hit his milestones, and we moved to France two years ago and it's taken a while but he's become fluent in French. Although absolutely hates and detests the French way of expecting children to kiss adults when saying hello or goodbye, he really struggles with that. He has problems with balance and co-ordination, all his peers have ditched the stabilisers that sort of thing. He hoards things that I call his treasures, and these are silly little things like hairslides, bobbles, a marble, and he has a thing about power ranger morphers, he's just obsessed with those. We're working on his holding a pencil at the moment and his letters, although he seems to be enjoying numbers and adding up. The teachers at school seem very negative towards him, complain that he can't put his own shoes on, fasten his coat that sort of thing. The thing is in France, they don't appear to be too forward thinking and open to things like learning disabilities. They have suggested something like a speech therapist, although as I say he doesn't have problems with communication, but has anybody experienced this sort of help. I was just wondering if I was thinking along the right lines, reading through some of these posts I definitely see resemblances, but at the same time, he's a very happy, chatty, articulate little boy who maybe just has some weird compulsions. I just want to be able to help him, if anybody has any ideas please let me know.

Sorry if this is all a bit disjointed but it's just a relief to be able to type it all down.

[Niecie]

Hi Oljam - Your DS sounds very like mine who has a dx of AS and seems to have dyspraxia as well. My DS is 7 as has been seeing a SALT because he finds it difficult to make certain sounds. However, he is articulate and has a good vocab too so it is not unusal.

If he has problems with his fine motor skills, or his gross motor skills come to that, he might be better off being referred to an occupational therapist to help with these things. My DS still kicks up a real fuss if he has clothes with buttons on them as he finds them so hard. I haven't even begun to try shoe laces as I know it will be hard. He is a messy eater and finds using a knife and fork difficult, he has bad handwriting and he finds things like throwing and catching difficult.

In the UK you would get your GP to refer your DS to a paediatrican for a dx. Do you have to do the same in France? However, you do it that is probably your first step so that the school can take this into account and make allowances and offer appropriate help.

Welcome to Mumsnet though - there are loads of people here who can be a great help to you. If you have a specific or even non-specific question feel free to start your own thread and we can all add our twopennies worth there.

[Dinosaur]

Welcome oljam! The special needs section of mumsnet is very supportive and has some very knowledgeable people posting.

[Niecie]

oliandmimismummy - the future worries me too but I think in a lot of ways ASD/AS children are like little adults so I am hoping that some of my DS's differences won't be so obvious when he grows up. So long as he stops flapping and bouncing around mind you.

[twocutedarlings]

Hi Oljam,

I would suggest that you have your son assessed at a child development clinic, if only to find out one way or the other.

I would also be a good idea to post a thread, im sure you would get a much better response.

Sorry im not much help, This is still very new for me too.


Good Luck xx

[Kaz33]

Hi Oljam

Again, I have a very similar 6 year old DS1, although we have done a lot with him privately over the last year.

Now I think of him as a very sensitive little boy who is easily overwhelmed by too much stimulation. Things that work for us include lots of routine and lots of positive feedback (discipline and negative comments send him to a total emotional meltdown). Also I find that he needs constant reminders of how he is expected to behave in certain situations, it is almost like since last time he has forgotten the social rules that he should use. Also physically sometimes it is like he has forgotten how to do something he can do and needs to relearn it.

Also he really needs something to do with his hands, art and drawing calms him down Recently we had a big boring family party and I gave him a lego kit that he could sit down and do which give him some focus. He does not do random unstructured wandering very well.

[oljam]

Oh my goodness, yes, my son can not eat with a knife and fork, meal times are a just a pain with my having to remind him every time not to use his fingers. I feel like I'm always on his case. He actually told me the other day he does like making things, but then the only thing he can really settle to for any length of time is walking around with his twirly whirly telling his stories to himself. He even has to walk around twirly whirling when he's watching telly. It was something we'd just sort of accepted as part of him but now DS2 who is just about to become 3 uses a knife and fork much better, is able to take his shoes on and off, can catch a ball, so now my older son's differences are much more noticeable to us. Routine does work for my son, which is actually one reason a French school is good for him. He doesn't like drawing though because basically it's scribble and he's realised that the other children are actually composing pictures. But we've been doing colouring in these holidays and he seems to have enjoyed that and he's actually enjoyed his writing practice. i think I'll have to bite the bullet and try and discuss with the French doctor. If he's one of these that doesn't believe dyspraxia etc is in existence, then I suppose I'll just trawl the local people until I find one who's sympathetic. Although he does have an appointment in a couple of weeks with the school doctor, so I think I'll bring it up with her and see what happens.

I should just mention he's a very clumsy boy, and has broken arms and legs in the past. I think it's the clumsiness that makes me think of dyspraxia but then I read the asperger's stuff and I can see similarities there. Saying that, once he gets to know an environment and the people in it he settles down OK. I'm not planning on changing schools in the near future so that should help. I just don't want him to be ridiculed at school for not being able to kick or catch a ball. The French can be very negative about things like that. I'm sure he's got other talents we've just got to help him develop them. I agree about the negative feedback and I actually had to pull his new teacher up a couple of weeks ago about a couple of negative comments she'd made about a drawing he'd done in class. I've told her he absolutely glows if you tell him he's done a good job and the effort he puts in afterwards is magnificent. She told him his picture was rubbish (she'd only been his new teacher for 2 days) now he won't draw at school any more, and she wonders why.

Sorry I'm rambling again aren't I? Just typing things down as I remember them. So glad I've found this site.

[XcupcakemummyX]

my ds copes if i set routines and times on everything he has to be involved in something all the time

im finding somethings such a strain

[Niecie]

Oljam - there is a big overlap between AS and dyspraxia. I have heard on here of somebody who has a dx of dyspraxia with social communication difficulties or my DS with AS and dyspraxia. I think, if I remember correctly, that about 40-50% of children have both. Certainly having DS2 brings home the problems with DS1, doesn't it.

Strangely my DS isn't clumsy or falling over all the time. He isn't very coordinated with his feet in that he can't kick very well but most of his troubles come from his upper body strength and coordination. They are all different though.

Are your French Oljam? I wouldn't fancy dealing with this in a foreign country. I hope you can find a sympathetic doctor.

[oljam]

No I'm not French. I can speak French but not on a level that I would wish to be able to discuss my son's problems. Although, they're not problems as such because we'll work through them. I just want him given some leeway at school, particularly in the sports area and a bit of understanding that he can't actually put his socks on or fasten his coat when it's bloody freezing outside. So instead of standing there telling him to do it, just do it for him before he turns blue! I think I'm just a bit neurotic because the teachers have made such a big deal about his being unable to hold a pen properly. But I've worked with him with that and he's fine how, he has special pens which the teacher does actually use with him. His handwriting still isn't neat, but he tries and that's all I can ask for, he has only just turned 5. Most of the time he's just a little boy who has a few eccentricities. It's just when I notice the obvious difference between him and DS2 in the co-ordination areas and when the teachers are going off on one about his concentration, pen holding or not being able to put his shoes on. Seriously if they are the only problems they ever have with him at school he's going to be an easy ride. He's told me he's happy being by himself in the playground and telling his stories so to be honest, I'm not going to try and stop him.

First stop for me is the school doctor and then I'll take it from there.

Many thanks to everyone who's responded. I feel like a weight's been lifted and that I'm not going mad.

[XcupcakemummyX]

i am in austria and i am bewildered

ds seems to need intense routines or he losses his way

should a nearly four year old be able to play on his on with out always being directed

should he not have to shout if iam trying to talk to dh
he has to control everything
dh says i should not be so tired i am trying to gets ds settled but feel it is a one man band

[twocutedarlings]

Cupcake i really feel for you ((hugs)).

Have you spoken to a doctor about your DS ?

Neicie - Have you found it helps for your son to have a DX of dysraxia and AS. Im quite sure that DDs motor problems possibly dyspraxia, but im unsure if a second lable will help her any further IYSWIM.

Oljam - Our children are the same My DD1 is also just 5 and DD2 will be 3 next month, i know exatley what you mean about your younger one being better in certain areas. It breaks my heart but thankfully DD1 doesnt seem to notice or care to be honest.

[chopsterHeadsOffEverybody]

xcupcakemummux, it sounds like things are really difficult for you. I have no idea how the system works in austria, but could you see a paediatrician, or someone to assess your son?
Has anyone else picked up on problems? Does he attend preschool yet?

oljam, good luck with the school doctor. Agree with the overlap between autism and dyspraxia. I read somewhere on here that aspergers, autism, dyspraxia etc should be viewed like the olympic circles - patterns that overlap each other. This analogy really made sense to me. Ds1 has dyspraxia, but exhibits a lot of autistic tendancies and it took a long time to really decide which he had.

[XcupcakemummyX]

hi

ds started kindergarten, he was put in with very young children and could not cope
they ask us to remove him and could offer no place in town for another year

i feel i would be letting him down as there seems to be no support set up

dh will not listen
so i am with ds all the time dh has the weekend off and i want to hide

he likes to know exactly who is looking after him and the demands far out weigh what i can do

sorry for moaning